7 ms·

You protect them by not giving them a smart phone. My daughter is 2 and she hasn’t seen a screen yet.

lisper 4y ago
Your comment was downvoted to death but I vouched for it, and leaving this followup comment to make it less likely to get killed again, because I think this is the Right Answer (or at least a big part of the Right Answer).
Archipelagia 4y ago
I'm not sure that's a good long term solution. Like, once they see that all their friends have a smartphone, I think it's natural they'll feel jealous. What are you thinking of doing at that point?
- mixmastamyk 4y ago
  You avoid as long as you can; not exactly rocket-science.
nickthegreek 4y ago
Sounds pretty easy to do at that age. But how long are you going to protect them? Until their 18? Or 16? Or 12? When do you see yourself allowing a phone. Are you keeping iPads away too? Some of my friends with kids gave them cell phones around 12-14. But most of the kids had iPads prior.
- verdenti 4y ago
  As long as I can, prob 12 unless school requires a laptop or something.
LarryMullins 4y ago
You're doing the right thing. w.r.t. "what will you do when they get older and jealous?", learning to deal with jealousy is a good lesson to teach kids. Giving a kid everything they envy and demand is how you raise an entitled brat.
- nickthegreek 4y ago
  They aren’t jealous of the tech. They are jealous of not being included. They might not get invited to events or understand their friends jokes because they weren’t part of the group chats. This can make them resent their parents and give them social anxiety. Kids can be very cruel and lack the empathy skills to understand why their friend isn’t allowed a phone. Overdoing it either direction can be a serious mistake.
  - dr-detroit 4y ago
  - Barrin92 4y ago
    >They are jealous of not being included. It's better to instill in kids early that it's important to cultivate deep rather than wide social connections. Teaching your kid to stand up for themselves and make friends that don't care about blue chat bubbles or fashionable clothes is necessary. Because there's always gonna be some group you're not going to be cool enough to be a part of. Maybe you're not pretty enough, athletic enough, maybe your parents aren't rich enough to send you on the holiday trip the other kids can go on, sooner or later everyone's going to learn the lesson that this isn't how you build genuine connections. I noticed this even as an adult in my 20s, people who hadn't ever learned to deal with social rejection carry that teenage group behavior into their own adult life and can't deal with exclusion.
    - HWR_14 4y ago
      > Teaching your kid to stand up for themselves But they aren't standing up for themselves. They're standing up for decisions forced on them by their parents. > make friends that don't care about blue chat bubbles or fashionable clothes is necessary It has nothing to do with being cool (and I've never heard of anyone referencing blue chat bubbles that wasn't using it derogatorily like you are). It's about not being unable to communicate with people. Like, they may have friends who want to invite them to a party but don't because they put the event on (whatever app is cool). Your kids don't see it and therefore don't go to an event everyone wanted them to go to.
jacquesm 4y ago
Right up to the point where the only highschool in your region forces your child to have a smartphone.
- throw_pm23 4y ago
  Sure, but by that time they will have developed sufficiently to be better able to handle it. This is similar to alcohol or smoking. It is worth not giving it to your children even if "they will anyway try it later".
- verdenti 4y ago

Your comment was downvoted to death but I vouched for it, and leaving this followup comment to make it less likely to get killed again, because I think this is the Right Answer (or at least a big part of the Right Answer).

Archipelagia 4y ago

I'm not sure that's a good long term solution. Like, once they see that all their friends have a smartphone, I think it's natural they'll feel jealous. What are you thinking of doing at that point?

mixmastamyk 4y ago
You avoid as long as you can; not exactly rocket-science.

nickthegreek 4y ago

Sounds pretty easy to do at that age. But how long are you going to protect them? Until their 18? Or 16? Or 12? When do you see yourself allowing a phone. Are you keeping iPads away too? Some of my friends with kids gave them cell phones around 12-14. But most of the kids had iPads prior.

verdenti 4y ago
As long as I can, prob 12 unless school requires a laptop or something.

LarryMullins 4y ago

You're doing the right thing. w.r.t. "what will you do when they get older and jealous?", learning to deal with jealousy is a good lesson to teach kids. Giving a kid everything they envy and demand is how you raise an entitled brat.

nickthegreek 4y ago
They aren’t jealous of the tech. They are jealous of not being included. They might not get invited to events or understand their friends jokes because they weren’t part of the group chats. This can make them resent their parents and give them social anxiety. Kids can be very cruel and lack the empathy skills to understand why their friend isn’t allowed a phone. Overdoing it either direction can be a serious mistake.
- dr-detroit 4y ago
- Barrin92 4y ago
  >They are jealous of not being included. It's better to instill in kids early that it's important to cultivate deep rather than wide social connections. Teaching your kid to stand up for themselves and make friends that don't care about blue chat bubbles or fashionable clothes is necessary. Because there's always gonna be some group you're not going to be cool enough to be a part of. Maybe you're not pretty enough, athletic enough, maybe your parents aren't rich enough to send you on the holiday trip the other kids can go on, sooner or later everyone's going to learn the lesson that this isn't how you build genuine connections. I noticed this even as an adult in my 20s, people who hadn't ever learned to deal with social rejection carry that teenage group behavior into their own adult life and can't deal with exclusion.
  - HWR_14 4y ago
    > Teaching your kid to stand up for themselves But they aren't standing up for themselves. They're standing up for decisions forced on them by their parents. > make friends that don't care about blue chat bubbles or fashionable clothes is necessary It has nothing to do with being cool (and I've never heard of anyone referencing blue chat bubbles that wasn't using it derogatorily like you are). It's about not being unable to communicate with people. Like, they may have friends who want to invite them to a party but don't because they put the event on (whatever app is cool). Your kids don't see it and therefore don't go to an event everyone wanted them to go to.

jacquesm 4y ago

Right up to the point where the only highschool in your region forces your child to have a smartphone.

throw_pm23 4y ago
Sure, but by that time they will have developed sufficiently to be better able to handle it. This is similar to alcohol or smoking. It is worth not giving it to your children even if "they will anyway try it later".
verdenti 4y ago