I understand where you're coming from and I'm very much aware of how unhelpful my perspective is. After much work I can mostly convince myself ahead of time but

I understand where you're coming from and I'm very much aware of how unhelpful my perspective is. After much work I can mostly convince myself ahead of time but then it all turns sour once the call starts, and I can feel my body vibrating. It's visceral. I've certainly improved over the years, but as I apply to more senior positions my issues are way more prominent/holding me back.