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> I should just vanish No, the world needs more people like you. You sound like a curious and passionate person who's worked through multiple challenges. I thi
by TechBro8615 4y ago
> I should just vanish
No, the world needs more people like you. You sound like a curious and passionate person who's worked through multiple challenges. I think you're being too hard on yourself.
> My old classmates have degrees blahblahblah
Are you still using Facebook, Instagram, etc? Delete those. Trust me, I have been so much happier since I stopped using IRL social media.
> My job requires me to commute to work 3 times a week to an office for 2.5h one way
That is horrible. You spend 5 hours commuting per day, 3 days a week, so a total of 15 hours commuting in a week? Why? Can you WFH for this job, or at least find a different one?
Normally on this forum I would suggest that you leverage your boring data-entry job as an opportunity to impress by automating it. If you think you don't like programming because of a bad experience in college, then maybe try again by teaching yourself - it's possible it wasn't the programming work itself that caused your bad experience. But if you truly don't like programming, then I'm afraid "automating your job" is not the right solution. And I'm skeptical that any job sitting in front of a computer will bring you happiness.
My suggestion is to leave your comfort zone and try something totally new, preferably an occupation that doesn't require staring at a monitor. Try working on a fishing boat for a few months or something.
> How do I live with myself?
Dude, you are 23 years old. You have an entire life in front of you. Your current emotional state is a challenge that you can overcome, and you will be wiser and better for it. And in twenty years, when your old classmates with their fancy degrees are having their midlife crisis, you'll be cruising, thanks to the strength you've built by following a less-trodden path.
Also, I think you should read some Stoic literature. Or at least start with Ryan Holiday's The Obstacle is the Way.
- _yb2s 4y agoOP could have been me at 23, a decade and a half later I am a successful academic PI, a father, and generally a happy person. Stoic philosophy especially helped me turn hardship into strength. My recommendation would be the Gregory Hays translation of Meditations. Also, the poem If by Kipling: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if--- https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if---
- user-extended 4y agoI'll look into those writings, thank you. What is an academic PI?
- fragmede 4y agoPrincipal Investigator https://academia.stackexchange.com/questions/151559/what-does-pi-mean https://academia.stackexchange.com/questions/151559/what-doe...
- user-extended 4y agoSounds really cool, props for making it :)
- turrican 4y agoHe could have been me as well. Like you, I found Meditations (even the same translation). I went from being academically suspended from my University, depressed and in a dead-end job to being a happy, healthy, fulfilled person with a loving fiancé and the best job in the world (that happens to pay >6 figures). I’m 30 now. I wouldn’t say that stoicism is perfect for everyone, but I found it stabilizing when everything was falling apart for me. Good luck OP, pm me if you just want to talk.
- user-extended 4y agoThank you for your reply, I need to go to sleem so I'll look into it tomorrow further. But long story short irt to the WFH stuff, I already WFH 2 days a week, and I cannot get more. Commuting this long way 3 days a week allows me to live with my parents, which is right now important to me.
- user-extended 4y agoThank you again for your kind words. I am not using any social media like Facebook, never have, except for LinkedIn, which is where I found out about a lot of my previous classmates' achievements. My relationship with programming is always giving up half way, because I've always hit a roadblock or something that takes me so much time to figure out, I just say "just do it manually". I love tinkering with Excel Formulas, and it's one of the reasons actually my current boss likes me, as I'm able to do some minor technical stuff. I don't know, it doesn't come down naturally to me. Maybe I should try taking up on it again, I don't know, but I've "failed" so many times at it already. Irt other jobs... I've always been in front of a screen, and believe it or not, access to well paid respected professions in my country that are not "hands on" is very, very difficult, for example, a teacher requires a College degree + masters + to take a comparison test with other teachers that is pure rot memorization. Then there are other examples such as stevedores or policemen where you basically need to dedicate your whole life to it ever since you're a certain age til you get in. I wish no ill will on others, so I hope my peers and old pals overachieve me in life a lot, and I don't wish a future middle life crisis on them. Thank you for your kind words. I've always found it very hard to believe in stoicism, I've always seen it as the philosophy of having a plan until you get punched in the face.
- fragmede 4y ago> I am not using any social media like Facebook, never have, except for LinkedIn, Other than Hacker News, of course.
- user-extended 4y agoAnd reddit, ngl. I don't know anyone from those platforms, though, so I don't know if forums = social media.
- fragmede 4y agoHow are they not? People interact with other people on forums, which is a form of socialization, just through text instead of pictures.