4 ms·

First of all: Men can be victims of violent domestic incidents. Don't use "woman and children" here. However, I think you're right, in the circumstance where d

First of all: Men can be victims of violent domestic incidents. Don't use "woman and children" here. However, I think you're right, in the circumstance where domestic abuse is ongoing in the moment. If there is physical violence happening, the police need to be called. If this is more of a "when he gets home he'll be so mad" situation, I think other resources are probably a good first step. Then a police report will need to be filed so a restraining order, etc., can be pursued.

throwaway31122 4y ago
As male who was previously a frequent victim of domestic violence, the cops are the fucking worst for this. I don't even normally have beef with the cops, and have predominantly had good interactions with them, but the system taught to police in the U.S., the Duluth Model, is broken beyond repair. It literally teaches them to assume the guilt of men in any domestic incident, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It's absolutely bullshit, a male domestic violence victim, especially one who is disadvantaged, can have their life turned upside down by someone calling the cops.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- genewitch 4y ago
  not only that, but in some states (LA, Missouri or KS, forget the rest) calling the cops on domestic abuse will get both partners put in jail. They claim it's just in case the situation is more nuanced than "husband beats wife", but realistically, it's to terrorize the abused person into *never calling the cops again*.
rayiner 4y ago
> First of all: Men can be victims of violent domestic incidents. Don't use "woman and children" here. We shouldn’t let a misguided sense of equality blind us to the real nature of the problem. Women are not only twice as likely to be murdered by an intimate partner as the other way around, but in over 40% of cases where women murdered men, there was evidence it was in response to violent acts by the man: https://www.encyclopedia.com/reference/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/when-women-kill-their-partners https://www.encyclopedia.com/reference/encyclopedias-almanac... Statistic after statistic bears out the fact that men are by far the more violent sex, and “women and children” are the victims of male violence.
- ivraatiems 4y ago
  It's not a "misguided sense of equality" to suggest that ignoring male violence just because it's less common is bad.
- throwaway31122 4y ago
  Violence is not exclusive to murder. Men are socially shamed for being victimized by women. My experience with sharing my stories of abuse have led me to completely hide it away from anyone; I will be judged as weak, incompetent, emasculate, or worse. To the best of my knowledge on the topic there hasn't even been much serious inquiry into male victimization[1]. I do not doubt that given their significantly higher natural testosterone men have both a greater raw rate of violence and more incidences reported. That said, Intimate Partner Violence carries significant psychological trauma. You are completely downplaying that trauma, focusing on only the most extreme and rare cases.[2] 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men report having experienced Intimate Partner Violence.[3] [1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/15248380211043827 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/15248380211043... [2] https://psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/intimate-partner-violence https://psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/int... [3] https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolen...

throwaway31122 4y ago

As male who was previously a frequent victim of domestic violence, the cops are the fucking worst for this. I don't even normally have beef with the cops, and have predominantly had good interactions with them, but the system taught to police in the U.S., the Duluth Model, is broken beyond repair. It literally teaches them to assume the guilt of men in any domestic incident, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It's absolutely bullshit, a male domestic violence victim, especially one who is disadvantaged, can have their life turned upside down by someone calling the cops.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
genewitch 4y ago
not only that, but in some states (LA, Missouri or KS, forget the rest) calling the cops on domestic abuse will get both partners put in jail. They claim it's just in case the situation is more nuanced than "husband beats wife", but realistically, it's to terrorize the abused person into *never calling the cops again*.

rayiner 4y ago

> First of all: Men can be victims of violent domestic incidents. Don't use "woman and children" here. We shouldn’t let a misguided sense of equality blind us to the real nature of the problem. Women are not only twice as likely to be murdered by an intimate partner as the other way around, but in over 40% of cases where women murdered men, there was evidence it was in response to violent acts by the man: https://www.encyclopedia.com/reference/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/when-women-kill-their-partners https://www.encyclopedia.com/reference/encyclopedias-almanac... Statistic after statistic bears out the fact that men are by far the more violent sex, and “women and children” are the victims of male violence.

ivraatiems 4y ago
It's not a "misguided sense of equality" to suggest that ignoring male violence just because it's less common is bad.
throwaway31122 4y ago
Violence is not exclusive to murder. Men are socially shamed for being victimized by women. My experience with sharing my stories of abuse have led me to completely hide it away from anyone; I will be judged as weak, incompetent, emasculate, or worse. To the best of my knowledge on the topic there hasn't even been much serious inquiry into male victimization[1]. I do not doubt that given their significantly higher natural testosterone men have both a greater raw rate of violence and more incidences reported. That said, Intimate Partner Violence carries significant psychological trauma. You are completely downplaying that trauma, focusing on only the most extreme and rare cases.[2] 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men report having experienced Intimate Partner Violence.[3] [1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/15248380211043827 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/15248380211043... [2] https://psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/intimate-partner-violence https://psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/int... [3] https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolen...