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Just to give another perspective: Bullying was very, very common in my school. I bullied in Grade 2*, and over the years got bullied back. Personally, I don't t
by saeranv 4y ago
Just to give another perspective: Bullying was very, very common in my school. I bullied in Grade 2*, and over the years got bullied back. Personally, I don't think your possible causes could have applied to everyone. I just think most small children don't have fully developed empathy, and are uncritical about ethics, and so will cruelly bully someone for very little reason.
This kind of in-group, out-group dynamic seems like a default for humanity. It's pretty easy to lapse into xenophobia - since that's our default. Trying to widen the circle of the "in-group" status is hard, and goes against our instincts.
* ETA: Thinking back on this period, I recall our teacher trying her best to combat the bullying of one girl in particular. She would do things like sit us down as a class and explain to us why it was cruel, with the girl in her lap, and reading stories to us about bullying. None of it worked, I literally remember sitting there, nodding along, and being frankly too dumb to connect this back to my own bullying. In hindsight, the one thing that I think would have worked is if she had publically reprimanded us everytime she had caught us in the act. I think that kind of repeated, instant feedback would finally gotten through to us.
- sdwr 4y agoI still feel too dumb for that kind of diffuse moralizing. I understand why the teacher wouldn't want to police directly though. Really effective leaders have emotional liquidity built up for that kind of situation, and do subtle work to restore balance. There's a grey zone where bullying blends into friendly teasing. A little bit of poking gets the blood flowing, especially if you already have social velocity, but repeated exploitation is just cruel.