4 ms·

Does your divorce have anything to do with your midlife crisis?

bradlys 4y ago
Only in that it accelerated the need for this overhaul. While I was with them - it didn't feel as necessary to climb the ladder (more than one ladder here) to survive. Now, it's very much sink or swim really fucking fast.
- engineer_22 4y ago
  Gotcha. Well, I'm sorry you gotta go through that. It sounds like a lot of pressure. My own divorce was painful and dating sucks. I hope you can figure out something that you can live with
- qazxcvbnmlp 4y ago
  Without knowing much about your situation - sink or swim can have a very real I-need-to-make-money-to-pay-bills or it can be a I-need-to-do-well-to-feel-ok-as-a—person. If you need to make money to pay the bills, I can’t offer much advice. If you need to climb the ladder to feel ok about yourself as a person I suggest you find a therapist. Controlling your self image through external actions (image coach) is ultimately unfulfilling. It’s like candy, tastes good but doesn’t leave you filled. Also - we subconsciously learn that behavior earlier in life, usually when situations are out of our control. Don’t beat yourself up about it. All being said, that feeling sucks (no matter where you look, someone will be better than you) and I hope you can find trusted support to resolve it.
  - bradlys 4y ago
    Both and neither. Therapy is irrelevant. I’m trying to make an image that sells to other individuals. Just cause you’re in therapy won’t suddenly make you a CTO at FAANG or whatever.
    - ulfw 4y ago
      Hahahaha. But an 'image consultant' will? I still can't tell if you're trolling (I hope so!) or being serious (oh god). Five months ago you were willing to spend '50K' on an 'image consultant' to find a 'rich wife' who would pay your bills for you and now you're still looking for one to become 'CTO' at a FAANG. "The rest being figuring out an image that sells well to modern high earning women is what I’d need help with. My image currently definitely isn’t pulling them out of the woodwork to find me." @dang this is really not the right kind of content for HN https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32007321 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32007321
      - bradlys 4y ago
        Man - you’ve gotta get a job to fill your time better. Unhealthy to spend your time on the Internet trying to create cherry-picked quotes without context to randoms. Creating super weird strawman. Hope you get help. When you’re in times like this - just disengage. It’s healthier.
        ulfw 4y ago
        I just clicked on button on your profile.

Only in that it accelerated the need for this overhaul. While I was with them - it didn't feel as necessary to climb the ladder (more than one ladder here) to survive. Now, it's very much sink or swim really fucking fast.

engineer_22 4y ago
Gotcha. Well, I'm sorry you gotta go through that. It sounds like a lot of pressure. My own divorce was painful and dating sucks. I hope you can figure out something that you can live with
qazxcvbnmlp 4y ago
Without knowing much about your situation - sink or swim can have a very real I-need-to-make-money-to-pay-bills or it can be a I-need-to-do-well-to-feel-ok-as-a—person. If you need to make money to pay the bills, I can’t offer much advice. If you need to climb the ladder to feel ok about yourself as a person I suggest you find a therapist. Controlling your self image through external actions (image coach) is ultimately unfulfilling. It’s like candy, tastes good but doesn’t leave you filled. Also - we subconsciously learn that behavior earlier in life, usually when situations are out of our control. Don’t beat yourself up about it. All being said, that feeling sucks (no matter where you look, someone will be better than you) and I hope you can find trusted support to resolve it.
- bradlys 4y ago
  Both and neither. Therapy is irrelevant. I’m trying to make an image that sells to other individuals. Just cause you’re in therapy won’t suddenly make you a CTO at FAANG or whatever.
  - ulfw 4y ago
    Hahahaha. But an 'image consultant' will? I still can't tell if you're trolling (I hope so!) or being serious (oh god). Five months ago you were willing to spend '50K' on an 'image consultant' to find a 'rich wife' who would pay your bills for you and now you're still looking for one to become 'CTO' at a FAANG. "The rest being figuring out an image that sells well to modern high earning women is what I’d need help with. My image currently definitely isn’t pulling them out of the woodwork to find me." @dang this is really not the right kind of content for HN https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32007321 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32007321
    - bradlys 4y ago
      Man - you’ve gotta get a job to fill your time better. Unhealthy to spend your time on the Internet trying to create cherry-picked quotes without context to randoms. Creating super weird strawman. Hope you get help. When you’re in times like this - just disengage. It’s healthier.
      - ulfw 4y ago
        I just clicked on button on your profile.