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Group chats have a problem with "diffusion of responsibility" [1], and sometimes you have reasons for not wanting to broadcast whatever it is you're about to sa

by gyulai 4y ago

Group chats have a problem with "diffusion of responsibility" [1], and sometimes you have reasons for not wanting to broadcast whatever it is you're about to say (e.g. you're in a toxic culture where your bosses will use the fact that you need help from others against you). I wouldn't round-robin my way through 10 people, but with 3 people it kind of seems fine to me. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diffusion_of_responsibility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diffusion_of_responsibility

rgoulter 4y ago
I think if you're the kind of person who often asks for help, I'd strongly advise you to listen to advice like "no hello" (because "no hello" is broadcasted by people who are often asked for help). Rather, you can't have both "I often ask for help" and "I don't need to listen to advice".
- gyulai 4y ago
  ...this is some rando posting something on github. Advice that's binding on the recipient is not advice, it's a command. And I don't take commands from randos on github. I also don't understand how this thread got so ad-hominem so quickly, with you acting like you know me well enough to put me in a category of people "who often ask for help", and then imply that those people are less entitled to autonomous choices on how to conduct themselves.
  - rgoulter 4y ago
    > this is some rando posting something on github Sure, but it's a post which strongly resonates with many people.
    - gyulai 4y ago
      I'm not even saying that I wouldn't take the advice, after all it's not costing me much to add a "topic header" to my "hellos". ...the fact that there's resonance here is something I'm only beginning to become aware of right now, as I see how people are reacting right here to what I wrote above. I say this with 6 years of work for fully-remote companies under my belt. In those 6 years no one has ever complained about a "hello", none of those companies had this in their "netiquette" guides, and I've been on the receiving end of "hello" many times. It has just always seemed like the most innocuous and normal thing in the world to me. So it's really weird to see people reacting so strongly right here.
nthj 4y ago
I don't know your culture or your boss, but I have worked with people who could not code their way out of a paper bag, and round-robbined there way through DMs to "pair" to complete their assigned work. These people were highly paid and highly damaging to productivity and morale. I suspect I'm not alone, and I'll freely admit I have a large amount of bias in how I perceive your arguments due to that. I will also say that your mentioned group chats should probably be a team channel, and the responsibility then becomes the Team Manager if the team members don't step up on their own. "#team-channel: @BobTeamManager are you able to help here?" would get a specific team member assigned.
rglullis 4y ago
In any case, you could/should simply send one DM with these 3 people (effectively, creating a private group) and then asking the question once. - You are going to get your answer faster - Your query is only going to people you trusted to ask for help anyway - The parties that were not able to help at first don't need to come back to you after to see if you still need help, and you don't need to respond with "never mind, someone else helped me". - It's just more transparent to your colleagues about what you need. - IT STILL AVOIDS THE NO-HELLO ISSUE

by gyulai 4y ago

rgoulter 4y ago

I think if you're the kind of person who often asks for help, I'd strongly advise you to listen to advice like "no hello" (because "no hello" is broadcasted by people who are often asked for help). Rather, you can't have both "I often ask for help" and "I don't need to listen to advice".

gyulai 4y ago
...this is some rando posting something on github. Advice that's binding on the recipient is not advice, it's a command. And I don't take commands from randos on github. I also don't understand how this thread got so ad-hominem so quickly, with you acting like you know me well enough to put me in a category of people "who often ask for help", and then imply that those people are less entitled to autonomous choices on how to conduct themselves.
- rgoulter 4y ago
  > this is some rando posting something on github Sure, but it's a post which strongly resonates with many people.
  - gyulai 4y ago
    I'm not even saying that I wouldn't take the advice, after all it's not costing me much to add a "topic header" to my "hellos". ...the fact that there's resonance here is something I'm only beginning to become aware of right now, as I see how people are reacting right here to what I wrote above. I say this with 6 years of work for fully-remote companies under my belt. In those 6 years no one has ever complained about a "hello", none of those companies had this in their "netiquette" guides, and I've been on the receiving end of "hello" many times. It has just always seemed like the most innocuous and normal thing in the world to me. So it's really weird to see people reacting so strongly right here.

nthj 4y ago

I don't know your culture or your boss, but I have worked with people who could not code their way out of a paper bag, and round-robbined there way through DMs to "pair" to complete their assigned work. These people were highly paid and highly damaging to productivity and morale. I suspect I'm not alone, and I'll freely admit I have a large amount of bias in how I perceive your arguments due to that. I will also say that your mentioned group chats should probably be a team channel, and the responsibility then becomes the Team Manager if the team members don't step up on their own. "#team-channel: @BobTeamManager are you able to help here?" would get a specific team member assigned.

rglullis 4y ago

In any case, you could/should simply send one DM with these 3 people (effectively, creating a private group) and then asking the question once. - You are going to get your answer faster - Your query is only going to people you trusted to ask for help anyway - The parties that were not able to help at first don't need to come back to you after to see if you still need help, and you don't need to respond with "never mind, someone else helped me". - It's just more transparent to your colleagues about what you need. - IT STILL AVOIDS THE NO-HELLO ISSUE