I'm saying start building the social network while you're in the job, and don't let the company's social infrastructure be your social network or else you'll be

I'm saying start building the social network while you're in the job, and don't let the company's social infrastructure be your social network or else you'll be screwed when you leave that job. If OP is feeling better because they can go to bowling night with their team, and feel connected and bonded... then that's not sufficient long term. If they meet one or two people who they seem to jive with and suggest meeting up outside of work for bowling... then that's a good way to start a social network that'll outlast their job and potentially not land them in the misery they were in originally. Startups, especially in the Bay Area, will often promote the former to make people feel engaged in their work and to scratch that itch for connection. But in some ways that works against your own longer-term social needs.