5 ms·

Absolutely. My experience was the same: my mother loved to talk to me about my intelligence and curiosity as if they were rare and therefore special. Maybe it

by palish 15y ago

Absolutely. My experience was the same: my mother loved to talk to me about my intelligence and curiosity as if they were rare and therefore special. Maybe it was true, but by telling me that, she accidentally laid the foundation of the rest of my life: I started distancing myself from my classmates, and eventually my peers. The result? I now have a skillset roughly equivalent to Carmack's, but no chance to capitalize on it. No one believes nor cares. (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/315/portfolio/pre-textured.jpg http://dl.dropbox.com/u/315/portfolio/pre-textured.jpg ; http://dl.dropbox.com/u/315/portfolio/face.png http://dl.dropbox.com/u/315/portfolio/face.png) By setting myself apart, I likely ruined myself without even realizing it. It turns out that my skills don't matter. A Carmack without a company is no Carmack at all. And now I've no ability with people, as he does.

gruseom 15y ago
Bosh. Learn! You totally can.
smallhands 15y ago
Ok I can relate to that myself I am kind of curious can you list those skills
- palish 15y ago
  - full stack programmer. My focus is always on the quality and robustness of the final design, regardless of which specific technologies/components are used. I learn them all. - a deep knowledge of the details. I share Robert Morris' passion for understanding precisely what is going on at every level. My insight into the low-level details of next-gen CPUs came from reading the Intel architecture manuals several times over. - an ability to achieve high-quality results within a very short period of time, regardless of the project or goal. If you show me a problem, I'll show you a solution by the end of the day, probably with a rough prototype. By a week, I'll have discovered which solution/direction is the best long-term strategy, and will have a working production version 1. - I have good judgement. This turns out to be rare. Specific technologies: - a master of C/C++. I've been coding since age 12, and I'm now 23, so that's easily 30,000+ hours I've spent practicing. I've been writing C/C++ professionally daily since my first gamedev job in 2007. Python is my language of choice; Lua a close second, primarily when performance is of concern (such as in gamedev). But a language is merely a means to an end, and I work with all of them. - several years of hobby experience writing Rails websites/Javascript. I write Lisp interpreters for fun. I want to write an Arc compiler someday. - extensive sysadmin knowledge, both Unix and Windows. FreeBSD is my preferred OS for server-side deployment. - master of realtime 3D graphics; both OpenGL and D3D. Given time and freedom, I can build you a renderer of the finest quality (equal or higher than Rage). - artistic talent and taste. Several years of 3D Studio Max and Maya modeling and animation experience. I build next-gen character art (high-poly sculpt in ZBrush, then decimate / build low-poly shell in 3D Coat; project detail; touch up textures via Photoshop -> rig in 3DSMax -> animate -> import into game). Projects: - in highschool, wrote a game engine roughly equivalent to Quake. - several game engines / game ideas. - a full game editor, using C#/.NET WinForms. - next-gen realtime graphics experiments, including realtime skin rendering (the same technique was recently shown by Epic in their "Good Samaritan" demo). - several Rails websites. Made a system for schools to administer tests, with the intent of surpassing Blackboard. (JavaScript-based; this was back before "Ajax" was a fancy buzzword.) Tried to apply to YC with it. pg gave valuable advice (selling to schools is like selling to government; quality doesn't always win). Was invited to Hacker School though, which was fun (seeing Anybots' Dexter robot in person walk around on two legs was just awesome). Experience: - Simutronics, HeroEngine. Graphics programmer (3 years) - S2 Games, Heroes of Newerth. Engine programmer (1 year) My thirst for knowledge is unquenchable in five lifetimes, and I strive for beauty and elegance in everything I pursue. If anyone feels these claims seem too bold to be true, I'd love the opportunity to work with you to prove myself while serving your interests.
  - mitsche 15y ago
    Dude, you're only 23. When you say you have no ability with people, what exactly do you mean by that? When I was 23 I was more or less a complete moron with people, and for years to come. But it has improved to the point where I'm content. And I'm only 29 now. If you were more specific about your problems with social interaction you'd probably get some good advice here.
    - palish 15y ago
      Sam Altman has what I lack. http://www.paulgraham.com/fundraising.html http://www.paulgraham.com/fundraising.html > You could parachute him into an island full of cannibals and come back in 5 years and he'd be the king. If you're Sam Altman, you don't have to be profitable to convey to investors that you'll succeed with or without them. (He wasn't, and he did.) More than that, I can't seem to inspire confidence in people. I don't know the cause, but it's proving lethal to my ambitions. As far as I can tell, it's the same situation Jobs found himself in: > "You know, I’ve got a plan that could rescue Apple. I can’t say any more than that it’s the perfect product and the perfect strategy for Apple. But nobody there will listen to me.” [1995] I don't know. I'm just enjoying life and pursuing my research. But it feels unsettling coasting like this. I have Carmack's technical skill; if only I could rally like-minded capable people who wanted to build the next Id or Epic, then we'd stand a fair shot at success, at influencing our industry and the world. We wouldn't be just another puppet for publishers. We'd have a shot at making an impact: the next Half-Life or Final Fantasy or World of Warcraft. The formula is good people + shared goal + time + rapid iteration + don't get distracted. It works, it's proven, and I've seen it happen firsthand at S2. We can achieve that same success. But why should anyone take me seriously? I probably wouldn't, if I weren't me.
      - esja 15y ago
        Have you thought about "putting yourself out there" a bit more? You could look at it like an experiment, just sharing your knowledge with the world, humbly and with no expectation of a return... I bet you would find all sorts of positives come from it over time. Maybe you do this already, but I only found one blog post (a good one) and no tweets.
aiscott 15y ago
Start your own damn company! You don't have to be best friends to hire an employee.
- palish 15y ago
  That's the plan, but without charisma or pedigree, I've found it quite difficult to inspire confidence.
  - viscanti 15y ago
    Charisma and pedigree are over-rated. The problem seems to be that you think you can (or should) be good at everything. Embrace your strengths and find someone who is strong where you're weak. It might take some work to find that person (or team), but if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
  - kmfrk 15y ago
    I think it's a bit of an overstatement to say that all founders are charismatic playboys. People in the industry respect talent and vision more than anything else.
Tichy 15y ago
"no chance to capitalize on it. No one believes nor cares." Um, when Doom came out, I didn't even know who Carmack was. I just liked the game. Just create something kickass with your skills...
booop 15y ago
> I now have a skillset roughly equivalent to Carmack's That's a very, very bold claim.

by palish 15y ago

gruseom 15y ago

Bosh. Learn! You totally can.

smallhands 15y ago

Ok I can relate to that myself I am kind of curious can you list those skills

palish 15y ago
- full stack programmer. My focus is always on the quality and robustness of the final design, regardless of which specific technologies/components are used. I learn them all. - a deep knowledge of the details. I share Robert Morris' passion for understanding precisely what is going on at every level. My insight into the low-level details of next-gen CPUs came from reading the Intel architecture manuals several times over. - an ability to achieve high-quality results within a very short period of time, regardless of the project or goal. If you show me a problem, I'll show you a solution by the end of the day, probably with a rough prototype. By a week, I'll have discovered which solution/direction is the best long-term strategy, and will have a working production version 1. - I have good judgement. This turns out to be rare. Specific technologies: - a master of C/C++. I've been coding since age 12, and I'm now 23, so that's easily 30,000+ hours I've spent practicing. I've been writing C/C++ professionally daily since my first gamedev job in 2007. Python is my language of choice; Lua a close second, primarily when performance is of concern (such as in gamedev). But a language is merely a means to an end, and I work with all of them. - several years of hobby experience writing Rails websites/Javascript. I write Lisp interpreters for fun. I want to write an Arc compiler someday. - extensive sysadmin knowledge, both Unix and Windows. FreeBSD is my preferred OS for server-side deployment. - master of realtime 3D graphics; both OpenGL and D3D. Given time and freedom, I can build you a renderer of the finest quality (equal or higher than Rage). - artistic talent and taste. Several years of 3D Studio Max and Maya modeling and animation experience. I build next-gen character art (high-poly sculpt in ZBrush, then decimate / build low-poly shell in 3D Coat; project detail; touch up textures via Photoshop -> rig in 3DSMax -> animate -> import into game). Projects: - in highschool, wrote a game engine roughly equivalent to Quake. - several game engines / game ideas. - a full game editor, using C#/.NET WinForms. - next-gen realtime graphics experiments, including realtime skin rendering (the same technique was recently shown by Epic in their "Good Samaritan" demo). - several Rails websites. Made a system for schools to administer tests, with the intent of surpassing Blackboard. (JavaScript-based; this was back before "Ajax" was a fancy buzzword.) Tried to apply to YC with it. pg gave valuable advice (selling to schools is like selling to government; quality doesn't always win). Was invited to Hacker School though, which was fun (seeing Anybots' Dexter robot in person walk around on two legs was just awesome). Experience: - Simutronics, HeroEngine. Graphics programmer (3 years) - S2 Games, Heroes of Newerth. Engine programmer (1 year) My thirst for knowledge is unquenchable in five lifetimes, and I strive for beauty and elegance in everything I pursue. If anyone feels these claims seem too bold to be true, I'd love the opportunity to work with you to prove myself while serving your interests.
- mitsche 15y ago
  Dude, you're only 23. When you say you have no ability with people, what exactly do you mean by that? When I was 23 I was more or less a complete moron with people, and for years to come. But it has improved to the point where I'm content. And I'm only 29 now. If you were more specific about your problems with social interaction you'd probably get some good advice here.
  - palish 15y ago
    Sam Altman has what I lack. http://www.paulgraham.com/fundraising.html http://www.paulgraham.com/fundraising.html > You could parachute him into an island full of cannibals and come back in 5 years and he'd be the king. If you're Sam Altman, you don't have to be profitable to convey to investors that you'll succeed with or without them. (He wasn't, and he did.) More than that, I can't seem to inspire confidence in people. I don't know the cause, but it's proving lethal to my ambitions. As far as I can tell, it's the same situation Jobs found himself in: > "You know, I’ve got a plan that could rescue Apple. I can’t say any more than that it’s the perfect product and the perfect strategy for Apple. But nobody there will listen to me.” [1995] I don't know. I'm just enjoying life and pursuing my research. But it feels unsettling coasting like this. I have Carmack's technical skill; if only I could rally like-minded capable people who wanted to build the next Id or Epic, then we'd stand a fair shot at success, at influencing our industry and the world. We wouldn't be just another puppet for publishers. We'd have a shot at making an impact: the next Half-Life or Final Fantasy or World of Warcraft. The formula is good people + shared goal + time + rapid iteration + don't get distracted. It works, it's proven, and I've seen it happen firsthand at S2. We can achieve that same success. But why should anyone take me seriously? I probably wouldn't, if I weren't me.
    - esja 15y ago
      Have you thought about "putting yourself out there" a bit more? You could look at it like an experiment, just sharing your knowledge with the world, humbly and with no expectation of a return... I bet you would find all sorts of positives come from it over time. Maybe you do this already, but I only found one blog post (a good one) and no tweets.

aiscott 15y ago

Start your own damn company! You don't have to be best friends to hire an employee.

palish 15y ago
That's the plan, but without charisma or pedigree, I've found it quite difficult to inspire confidence.
- viscanti 15y ago
  Charisma and pedigree are over-rated. The problem seems to be that you think you can (or should) be good at everything. Embrace your strengths and find someone who is strong where you're weak. It might take some work to find that person (or team), but if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
- kmfrk 15y ago
  I think it's a bit of an overstatement to say that all founders are charismatic playboys. People in the industry respect talent and vision more than anything else.

Tichy 15y ago

"no chance to capitalize on it. No one believes nor cares." Um, when Doom came out, I didn't even know who Carmack was. I just liked the game. Just create something kickass with your skills...

booop 15y ago

> I now have a skillset roughly equivalent to Carmack's That's a very, very bold claim.