5 ms·

2004 I'd add, I think there are "communities" (not geographies, but social groups) in which a lot of this holds true, and echoes through society (sex sells) bu

2004 I'd add, I think there are "communities" (not geographies, but social groups) in which a lot of this holds true, and echoes through society (sex sells) but as a heterosexual male in his 40s, the "women are the suppliers, men are the demanders" narrative is not my experience outside of shallow situations (even if it can be a shallow characterization of, say, the dance floor at a bar)

giantg2 4y ago
"women are the suppliers, men are the demanders" Is that a direct quote? I got a very different impression from the article. It seems they are looking more at a societal level. The women can still be exchanging sex for resources, even if they are the ones desiring sex. For example, it's common for a woman to flirt to have a man buy her a drink, pay for the uber, etc. So while they ultimately want sex, they know they can get sex plus some other resources. Obviously this can even be the inverse in individual interactions, as their chart eludes to for what lowers or raises the price (age, attractiveness, etc). Just as their statement about there being no value to male sexual favors is only true at the societal level (maybe not even then) and not the more granular one.
- lvass 4y ago
  >The theory treated sex as a valued good for which there is a marketplace in which women act as sellers and men as buyers. The initiation of a sexual relationship corresponds to a transaction in which men offer women other resources in exchange for sex. Those resources correspond to the price of sex [...] >The analysis of sexual interactions as social exchange, with sex itself as a female resource, appears capable of supporting a broad range of testable predictions. It is also a potentially useful link between nature and culture
- aero-glide2 4y ago
  In India many places still have the dowry system. When two people get married, the girls father gives money, gold and land to the new family. If the guy is a software engineer this can be worth $100k-$200k ! It's supposed to be illegal, but very common.
spoonjim 4y ago
Are you top 20% attractiveness? This changes a lot for a man.
parentheses 4y ago
Sample size of 1 HN member. Seems skewed. The paper is purely theoretical and not based on any empirical data. So wild claims and exploratory discussion are par for the course.
DeetrixDotter 4y ago
Are the women you're basing this on also in their 40s? Or even 30s? The dynamic changes a lot with age. Women in this age bracket - especially if they want kids - are of course not in a position to be nearly as selective as they were able in their early 20s.
jacknews 4y ago
> as a heterosexual male in his 40s, the "women are the suppliers, men are the demanders" narrative is not my experience Is it that you no longer demand sex because you're over 40, or women are demanding more? I suspect in any case the women are interested in more than just sex most of the time, unlike many men.
- lostmsu 4y ago
  > I suspect in any case the women are interested in more than just sex most of the time, unlike many men. IMHO this is overstated considering the rise of the childfree "movement".
  - jacknews 4y ago
    I don't mean that women want children, but that they are seeking longer term romance/companionship/etc over just sex, more so than men are, in many situations.
    - lostmsu 4y ago
      This is "common knowledge", yes. But what does it derive from, and what is the purpose of opposite sex romance/companionship exactly if the children are out of question?
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
deterministic 4y ago
I think that highly depends on whether you are in the top 20% of males when it comes to attractiveness or not. The top 20% of males can pick and choose. The rest not so much. Also, apparently the male to female ratio on online dating sites (in the west) is 100 to 1. Evidence that access to woman is a limited resource in high demand.

giantg2 4y ago

"women are the suppliers, men are the demanders" Is that a direct quote? I got a very different impression from the article. It seems they are looking more at a societal level. The women can still be exchanging sex for resources, even if they are the ones desiring sex. For example, it's common for a woman to flirt to have a man buy her a drink, pay for the uber, etc. So while they ultimately want sex, they know they can get sex plus some other resources. Obviously this can even be the inverse in individual interactions, as their chart eludes to for what lowers or raises the price (age, attractiveness, etc). Just as their statement about there being no value to male sexual favors is only true at the societal level (maybe not even then) and not the more granular one.

lvass 4y ago
>The theory treated sex as a valued good for which there is a marketplace in which women act as sellers and men as buyers. The initiation of a sexual relationship corresponds to a transaction in which men offer women other resources in exchange for sex. Those resources correspond to the price of sex [...] >The analysis of sexual interactions as social exchange, with sex itself as a female resource, appears capable of supporting a broad range of testable predictions. It is also a potentially useful link between nature and culture
aero-glide2 4y ago
In India many places still have the dowry system. When two people get married, the girls father gives money, gold and land to the new family. If the guy is a software engineer this can be worth $100k-$200k ! It's supposed to be illegal, but very common.

spoonjim 4y ago

Are you top 20% attractiveness? This changes a lot for a man.

parentheses 4y ago

Sample size of 1 HN member. Seems skewed. The paper is purely theoretical and not based on any empirical data. So wild claims and exploratory discussion are par for the course.

DeetrixDotter 4y ago

Are the women you're basing this on also in their 40s? Or even 30s? The dynamic changes a lot with age. Women in this age bracket - especially if they want kids - are of course not in a position to be nearly as selective as they were able in their early 20s.

jacknews 4y ago

> as a heterosexual male in his 40s, the "women are the suppliers, men are the demanders" narrative is not my experience Is it that you no longer demand sex because you're over 40, or women are demanding more? I suspect in any case the women are interested in more than just sex most of the time, unlike many men.

lostmsu 4y ago
> I suspect in any case the women are interested in more than just sex most of the time, unlike many men. IMHO this is overstated considering the rise of the childfree "movement".
- jacknews 4y ago
  I don't mean that women want children, but that they are seeking longer term romance/companionship/etc over just sex, more so than men are, in many situations.
  - lostmsu 4y ago
    This is "common knowledge", yes. But what does it derive from, and what is the purpose of opposite sex romance/companionship exactly if the children are out of question?
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

deterministic 4y ago

I think that highly depends on whether you are in the top 20% of males when it comes to attractiveness or not. The top 20% of males can pick and choose. The rest not so much. Also, apparently the male to female ratio on online dating sites (in the west) is 100 to 1. Evidence that access to woman is a limited resource in high demand.