5 ms·

It's not just about money. It's about sex, power, and hope of building the life you dream of. People will keep lowering their expectations until they hit rock b

It's not just about money. It's about sex, power, and hope of building the life you dream of. People will keep lowering their expectations until they hit rock bottom, and then drop out.

solarmist 4y ago
It’s also about emotional and social skills. Each generation since at least the 1950s has gotten more isolated and less able to understand and healthily process their own emotions.
- oneoff786 4y ago
  The 50s is your benchmark for emotional intelligence among men?
  - solarmist 4y ago
    LOL! Wow, no. It's just an anchor point that stuck in my mind. The traditions of the nuclear family and religion in the US have been declining, and the '50s are often mentioned as an inflection point. There are many good reasons (for example, no longer being bound to toxic spouses/family members) it has been declining. Not coincidentally, many social and emotional skills are declining along with them. It takes a lot of work and skills to get along with people, esp. ones who are unpleasant to you, or keep connections with many acquaintances.
- supertrope 4y ago
  My kid’s school seems to primarily teach handling emotions, social procedure, and executive function.
  - solarmist 4y ago
    What kind of school teaches emotional regulation or social procedures? The only social/emotional skills I learned in school were how to follow directions and not be a nuisance.
    - supertrope 4y ago
      A public school in a upper middle class district. There's no standalone emotions class. It's stuff like teaching kids to say thank you, take the time to think before giving into a knee jerk reaction, consider positive and negative consequences of each choice, recognizing triggers for anger, imagine walking in other people's shoes for a day, making plans instead of ignoring a problem or deadline in hopes it will go away, etc. "Character education" is suppose to be part of every class, analogous to "writing across the curriculum" and teaching critical thinking. Yes there is overlap with just making kids easier to handle and push through the pipeline.
      - rahimnathwani 4y ago
        The book How Children Succeed may be good for anyone interested in more about executive function and character education.
trashtester 4y ago
More than that, though, it's about purpose and the feeling of doing something meaningful. Some people can find that in a job or some other organization, or even friends, but for most people, the obvious place to find it is with a family. Hedonism, including sexual hedonism, fades eventually, even for those with access to it. If 40% of men are involuntarily childless and single, you should exepect a similar percentage to withdraw from the workplace by the age of 50 or so.
luxuryballs 4y ago
where do they go when they “drop out”? is there some negative incentive at play here? I don’t understand how people can just decide to stop working, if they could do that then why were they working in the first place?
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- vinyl7 4y ago
  After living through disaster after disaster after disaster for all of their adult life, adults living with parents is pretty much the standard for millenials and younger these days
- t-3 4y ago
  Parents, friends, the street. The negative incentive is working hard for $12 an hour, with no possibility of promotion or advancement, no ability to get a better job, nothing to aspire to, nothing to live for, no reason to persevere. No decent employer will give you the time of day if your resume lacks a college degree, let alone with a criminal record, patchy work history, or lacking a dream beyond making a decent wage.

It's not just about money. It's about sex, power, and hope of building the life you dream of. People will keep lowering their expectations until they hit rock bottom, and then drop out.

solarmist 4y ago

It’s also about emotional and social skills. Each generation since at least the 1950s has gotten more isolated and less able to understand and healthily process their own emotions.

oneoff786 4y ago
The 50s is your benchmark for emotional intelligence among men?
- solarmist 4y ago
  LOL! Wow, no. It's just an anchor point that stuck in my mind. The traditions of the nuclear family and religion in the US have been declining, and the '50s are often mentioned as an inflection point. There are many good reasons (for example, no longer being bound to toxic spouses/family members) it has been declining. Not coincidentally, many social and emotional skills are declining along with them. It takes a lot of work and skills to get along with people, esp. ones who are unpleasant to you, or keep connections with many acquaintances.
supertrope 4y ago
My kid’s school seems to primarily teach handling emotions, social procedure, and executive function.
- solarmist 4y ago
  What kind of school teaches emotional regulation or social procedures? The only social/emotional skills I learned in school were how to follow directions and not be a nuisance.
  - supertrope 4y ago
    A public school in a upper middle class district. There's no standalone emotions class. It's stuff like teaching kids to say thank you, take the time to think before giving into a knee jerk reaction, consider positive and negative consequences of each choice, recognizing triggers for anger, imagine walking in other people's shoes for a day, making plans instead of ignoring a problem or deadline in hopes it will go away, etc. "Character education" is suppose to be part of every class, analogous to "writing across the curriculum" and teaching critical thinking. Yes there is overlap with just making kids easier to handle and push through the pipeline.
    - rahimnathwani 4y ago
      The book How Children Succeed may be good for anyone interested in more about executive function and character education.

trashtester 4y ago

More than that, though, it's about purpose and the feeling of doing something meaningful. Some people can find that in a job or some other organization, or even friends, but for most people, the obvious place to find it is with a family. Hedonism, including sexual hedonism, fades eventually, even for those with access to it. If 40% of men are involuntarily childless and single, you should exepect a similar percentage to withdraw from the workplace by the age of 50 or so.

luxuryballs 4y ago

where do they go when they “drop out”? is there some negative incentive at play here? I don’t understand how people can just decide to stop working, if they could do that then why were they working in the first place?

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
vinyl7 4y ago
After living through disaster after disaster after disaster for all of their adult life, adults living with parents is pretty much the standard for millenials and younger these days
t-3 4y ago
Parents, friends, the street. The negative incentive is working hard for $12 an hour, with no possibility of promotion or advancement, no ability to get a better job, nothing to aspire to, nothing to live for, no reason to persevere. No decent employer will give you the time of day if your resume lacks a college degree, let alone with a criminal record, patchy work history, or lacking a dream beyond making a decent wage.