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Having been on the other end of it... the reality is harsh. People say they want to know, but in fact... they mostly don't. The reality of it is hard to deal wi
by adamc 4y ago
Having been on the other end of it... the reality is harsh. People say they want to know, but in fact... they mostly don't. The reality of it is hard to deal with. It can go on and on.
People have a lot of misconceptions, sometimes for good reasons (it makes life easier to endure). It's a lot like the pushback on #metoo or #blacklivesmatter or <almost anything linked to traumatic experience>. They want to make it your fault because then its not something they have to think about.
I think depression is mostly orthogonal to where you work, although stress may make it worse.
- silisili 4y agoI agree with this. Someone reaching out because they have a problem or need someone to talk to is perfectly welcomed. Someone who does so daily becomes a big f'ing drag on your life, pardon the expression. My father did that to us kids after divorce, and our relationship has never been the same. (For those curious, he didn't hurt himself, just became an angry, sad, drunk yearslong drag on us all).
- Jensson 4y ago
- silisili 4y agoI'd have preferred he not leave drunken angry voicemails every time I didn't answer the phone, and sought professional help. Which he did, eventually, but after 2 years of verbal abuse and telling us we were dead to him.
- Jensson 4y ago
- adamc 4y agoAs someone who's been through depression and has an estranged son (for reasons that were never even articulated)... being angry doesn't help. Their choices may be no more free than our own. Sometimes the universe gives us tough choices.
- Jensson 4y agoDepressed people often do a lot of things they later regret. Doesn't mean they could have done it any other way, just that would prefer to not have done it. > Sometimes the universe gives us tough choices. Yeah, like accepting when an asshole reaches out or letting him kill himself. I don't think it is wrong to try to reach out when you are too mentally unstable to be nice to people, in fact that is probably the time when you should reach out the most because you are very likely to kill yourself then because that anger can easily turn inwards. But there really are no perfect ways to handle that, the best solution is to never get that bad to begin with but when you are there you can't really get out of it without burning something.
- whats_a_quasar 4y agoThis was definitely my experience. It takes so long and so much effort to get out of a deep depression that it strains everyone around you. If anyone's gone through or is going through something similar, I highly recommend "The Noonday Demon." It captures much of the subjective experience of someone going through a depression, and how weird and frustrating the experience can be for everyone involved. https://www.amazon.com/Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/1501123882 https://www.amazon.com/Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/150...