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And BTW, I take full responsibility for everything, which means nothing.

hinkley 4y ago
Narcissists think the worst punishment in the world is having to admit they were wrong about something. Not cleaning up their messes, of course. That’s still on everybody else. They’re too busy contending with this harsh reality of not being right all the time. Which means if anyone says they take full responsibility, they’re either saying “I’m a big fat narcissist” or that they imprinted on narcissists, so all of their mentors were.
- bobmaxup 4y ago
  > Which means if anyone says they take full responsibility, they’re either saying “I’m a big fat narcissist” or that they imprinted on narcissists, so all of their mentors were. Kind of a stretch, no?
  - hinkley 4y ago
    Grandparent talks about how taking responsibility means nothing. That’s what I was referring to. When’s the last time you saw someone actually take responsibility? When it’s a teen pregnancy or injuring a pedestrian, we know what “taking responsibility” means. For layoffs there are no actions, no alteration of life paths. Even the money for severance really comes out of someone else’s pockets. It means nothing for the person saying it. Everyone else suffers the consequences, not the speaker. Claiming you’re to blame is the only penance. That only makes sense to people who won’t normally do that. Which is people who think in narcissistic personality traits are normal. IE narcissists and people they groomed.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
      - hinkley 4y ago
        It’s not unheard of, but I wouldn’t say common. “Not uncommon” is not the same as common. In any case their actions speak louder than words. They don’t need to say they take responsibility. They’ve shown that they have. In many cases they either don’t say it at all, or it doesn’t stick with us because the actions spoke louder than words. If it’s just words then the words are what we remember. That said, once you’re gone it’s someone else’s problem to clean up your mess. Bailing is also antisocial behavior. Not necessarily narcissistic, but not healthy.
    - elmomle 4y ago
      To be clear, _saying_ that one takes full responsibility without further action means nothing. Responsibility for a bad thing means that you are ultimately to blame, so if you take responsibility, you should either step down or present a detailed action plan. Otherwise you're saying "I messed this up and I also don't know how to fix it but I don't intend to stop being the leader"--which is (ironically) a very irresponsible stance.
  - idontpost 4y ago
  - toss1 4y ago
    >>Kind of a stretch, no? Nope. Not unless there are actions to backup the words. Some kind of actual sacrifice that helps actually cleanup the mess. E.g., do the CEO & Execs give back all bonuses and substantial salary for the past X years these bad decision were made, and keep working for $1/year until they are fixed? Do the CEO & Execs personally make calls using their own personal & professional capital to find new jobs for those they are firing? If not, it is just performative bullshirt.
    - hinkley 4y ago
      Strangely Steve Jobs did in fact work for $1 a year. A couple others have as well. Might be why he’s one of the most highly regarded narcissists. He was smart enough to intellectually understand why was better off delaying his gratification to build morale, even if intuition and empathy didn’t tell him this instantly.
bluehatbrit 4y ago
"I take full responsibility! But I'll still be keeping my job, pay, and maybe getting a bonus for making this difficult decision to maintain our stock value."
- hinkley 4y ago
  Bo Burnham: We used to have all the money and land. We still do, but it’s not as fun now.
xivzgrev 4y ago
To me it means something. To write to the world that you made a mistake and you were responsible takes courage. It may lead to change. It may not. But it’s important part of normal apologies. I suspect what you are missing is specific action - what is this person specifically going to do differently?
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- otikik 4y ago
  Responsibility implies consequences. “I take responsibility, so I’m returning my dividends from the last two years and making my salary 0 until things improve”
  - Leherenn 4y ago
    Plaid doesn't pay dividends and his salary is most likely peanuts compared to his shares in the company, whose valuation just tanked.
    - otikik 4y ago
      That’s not the point. The point is that “I take responsibility” is like “You all have my thoughts and prayers”. All talk, no substance. It’s better to say nothing than to say empty things, when people are losing their jobs.
  - subradios 4y ago
    Would this move the needle on layoffs or the business or merely satisfy a desire for moral dessert? One team of engineers costs between one and three million dollars a year.
    - otikik 4y ago
      Not a native English speaker here. I’m not familiar with the expression “moral dessert”, but it sounds bad. I will try to explain. Words are important. “I take full responsibility” means what, exactly? To me it sounds incomplete. Like the phrase “you are very important to me”. There’s something missing there. “You are very important to me, so I will make sure this doesn’t happen again”. Or, “I will try to flush the toilet after I pee on it”. Something. Ok, you take full responsibility, so what?
cjglo 4y ago
In the words of Gavin Belson: “Make no mistake, though they are the ones leaving, it is I who must remain and endure the heavy burden of their failure.”
- soco 4y ago
  "Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." - Lord Farqaad.
- satvikpendem 4y ago
  "Goodbyes are always hard, especially when I am the one saying goodbye. Today, effective immediately, I, Gavin Belson, founder and CEO of Hooli, am forced to officially say goodbye...to the entire Nucleus division. But make no mistake, though they are the ones leaving, it is I who must remain and bear the heavy burden of their failure. It is my fault, I trusted them to get the job done, but that is the price of leadership." Incredible writing by Mike Judge and co, it's satire that's literally too real sometimes.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

Narcissists think the worst punishment in the world is having to admit they were wrong about something. Not cleaning up their messes, of course. That’s still on everybody else. They’re too busy contending with this harsh reality of not being right all the time. Which means if anyone says they take full responsibility, they’re either saying “I’m a big fat narcissist” or that they imprinted on narcissists, so all of their mentors were.

bobmaxup 4y ago
> Which means if anyone says they take full responsibility, they’re either saying “I’m a big fat narcissist” or that they imprinted on narcissists, so all of their mentors were. Kind of a stretch, no?
- hinkley 4y ago
  Grandparent talks about how taking responsibility means nothing. That’s what I was referring to. When’s the last time you saw someone actually take responsibility? When it’s a teen pregnancy or injuring a pedestrian, we know what “taking responsibility” means. For layoffs there are no actions, no alteration of life paths. Even the money for severance really comes out of someone else’s pockets. It means nothing for the person saying it. Everyone else suffers the consequences, not the speaker. Claiming you’re to blame is the only penance. That only makes sense to people who won’t normally do that. Which is people who think in narcissistic personality traits are normal. IE narcissists and people they groomed.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
    - hinkley 4y ago
      It’s not unheard of, but I wouldn’t say common. “Not uncommon” is not the same as common. In any case their actions speak louder than words. They don’t need to say they take responsibility. They’ve shown that they have. In many cases they either don’t say it at all, or it doesn’t stick with us because the actions spoke louder than words. If it’s just words then the words are what we remember. That said, once you’re gone it’s someone else’s problem to clean up your mess. Bailing is also antisocial behavior. Not necessarily narcissistic, but not healthy.
  - elmomle 4y ago
    To be clear, _saying_ that one takes full responsibility without further action means nothing. Responsibility for a bad thing means that you are ultimately to blame, so if you take responsibility, you should either step down or present a detailed action plan. Otherwise you're saying "I messed this up and I also don't know how to fix it but I don't intend to stop being the leader"--which is (ironically) a very irresponsible stance.
- idontpost 4y ago
- toss1 4y ago
  >>Kind of a stretch, no? Nope. Not unless there are actions to backup the words. Some kind of actual sacrifice that helps actually cleanup the mess. E.g., do the CEO & Execs give back all bonuses and substantial salary for the past X years these bad decision were made, and keep working for $1/year until they are fixed? Do the CEO & Execs personally make calls using their own personal & professional capital to find new jobs for those they are firing? If not, it is just performative bullshirt.
  - hinkley 4y ago
    Strangely Steve Jobs did in fact work for $1 a year. A couple others have as well. Might be why he’s one of the most highly regarded narcissists. He was smart enough to intellectually understand why was better off delaying his gratification to build morale, even if intuition and empathy didn’t tell him this instantly.

bluehatbrit 4y ago

"I take full responsibility! But I'll still be keeping my job, pay, and maybe getting a bonus for making this difficult decision to maintain our stock value."

hinkley 4y ago
Bo Burnham: We used to have all the money and land. We still do, but it’s not as fun now.

xivzgrev 4y ago

To me it means something. To write to the world that you made a mistake and you were responsible takes courage. It may lead to change. It may not. But it’s important part of normal apologies. I suspect what you are missing is specific action - what is this person specifically going to do differently?

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
otikik 4y ago
Responsibility implies consequences. “I take responsibility, so I’m returning my dividends from the last two years and making my salary 0 until things improve”
- Leherenn 4y ago
  Plaid doesn't pay dividends and his salary is most likely peanuts compared to his shares in the company, whose valuation just tanked.
  - otikik 4y ago
    That’s not the point. The point is that “I take responsibility” is like “You all have my thoughts and prayers”. All talk, no substance. It’s better to say nothing than to say empty things, when people are losing their jobs.
- subradios 4y ago
  Would this move the needle on layoffs or the business or merely satisfy a desire for moral dessert? One team of engineers costs between one and three million dollars a year.
  - otikik 4y ago
    Not a native English speaker here. I’m not familiar with the expression “moral dessert”, but it sounds bad. I will try to explain. Words are important. “I take full responsibility” means what, exactly? To me it sounds incomplete. Like the phrase “you are very important to me”. There’s something missing there. “You are very important to me, so I will make sure this doesn’t happen again”. Or, “I will try to flush the toilet after I pee on it”. Something. Ok, you take full responsibility, so what?

cjglo 4y ago

In the words of Gavin Belson: “Make no mistake, though they are the ones leaving, it is I who must remain and endure the heavy burden of their failure.”

soco 4y ago
"Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." - Lord Farqaad.
satvikpendem 4y ago
"Goodbyes are always hard, especially when I am the one saying goodbye. Today, effective immediately, I, Gavin Belson, founder and CEO of Hooli, am forced to officially say goodbye...to the entire Nucleus division. But make no mistake, though they are the ones leaving, it is I who must remain and bear the heavy burden of their failure. It is my fault, I trusted them to get the job done, but that is the price of leadership." Incredible writing by Mike Judge and co, it's satire that's literally too real sometimes.

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]