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I realize "incel" is a loaded word but I didn't mean to trash the author. Simply, I feel like he's coming at the issue from the perspective that men-women rela

I realize "incel" is a loaded word but I didn't mean to trash the author. Simply, I feel like he's coming at the issue from the perspective that men-women relationships are transactional. I think that's wrong, and that it is an incel view of the problem. With no disrespect to incels, because I also grew up thinking like that. Also I'd say the definition the article uses for "intelligence" is reductive. There's more to intelligence than pure logic. Romantic relationships aren't that different from friendships. And you wouldn't try to be friends with someone just because they have a nice car or score well at IQ tests. It's all about being a good/fun person. And that can be pretty subjective, compatibility plays a big part. People with similar interests and values are more likely to get together.

sn0w_crash 4y ago
I agree that relationships are not transactional. This is my personal viewpoint. But if I am to observe how others in my community, town, city, and even ethnic background make these decisions, 9 times out of 10 they are transactional. Many of these relationships are loveless and aware of it. For me to pretend this is not real life would be to bury myself in the bubble of my own experience and assume everyone else loves their partner unconditionally as much as I do, or selected them under similar criteria. I would go as far as saying what you call “the incel view” is actually how marriage happens in a vast majority of cultures over most of human history. To me that’s not “the incel view” it’s just life.