3 ms·

How are peoples' names less made up than their pronouns? It seems just as rude to refuse to use someone's preferred name as you would their preferred pronouns.

by tetrep 4y ago

throwayyy479087 4y ago
Outside of a small set of Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok bubbles (which overlap in userbase), pronouns are fixed: he/she/they (rarely they). Xe/Xir is not something average people will honor or use.
bloak 4y ago
I mostly agree with that: if someone is a participant or a potential participant in the conversation then we should refer to them in a way they find acceptable, provided their demands are reasonable and in good faith. On the other hand, if someone is speaking or writing about me in a language I don't understand then it's hardly my job to tell them what pronouns to use and I can't even reasonably tell them how to pronounce, and perhaps decline, my name. (Try looking up some internationally famous people in the Latvian or Lithuanian Wikipedias. Obviously I'm not famous enough to be in there, but if I were, would I have any right to be treated differently from Rišī Sūneks?) A journalist writing about someone they've interviewed ... as part of doing the best they can for the people they serve, the readers, perhaps in some cases it's reasonable for them to ignore the preferences of the interviewee?
- throwaway346434 4y ago
  My problem is the author deliberately states they didnt bother to ask, and does so in a way that is almost bragging about it. Through the article, this happens in various forms. If the point of the article is to criticise someone's behaviour for being an "internet cool person"; opening by your opinion piece by stating you were too cool to bother to do something; and later stating that you as the writer are a normal person, and that you feel sick after infilitrating a group, there is a level of hypocrisy there. I agree with you there are legitimate cases for ignoring someone's preferences to improve the quality of information imparted. However, the author doesnt state any apart from "didnt bother".
rhino369 4y ago
Customized personal pronouns are just another name. They lose all value if they are high customizable. I get why people don't want to misgendered. But making up a new pronoun comes across as aggressive attention seeking.

How are peoples' names less made up than their pronouns? It seems just as rude to refuse to use someone's preferred name as you would their preferred pronouns.

by tetrep 4y ago

How are peoples' names less made up than their pronouns? It seems just as rude to refuse to use someone's preferred name as you would their preferred pronouns.

throwayyy479087 4y ago

Outside of a small set of Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok bubbles (which overlap in userbase), pronouns are fixed: he/she/they (rarely they). Xe/Xir is not something average people will honor or use.

bloak 4y ago

I mostly agree with that: if someone is a participant or a potential participant in the conversation then we should refer to them in a way they find acceptable, provided their demands are reasonable and in good faith. On the other hand, if someone is speaking or writing about me in a language I don't understand then it's hardly my job to tell them what pronouns to use and I can't even reasonably tell them how to pronounce, and perhaps decline, my name. (Try looking up some internationally famous people in the Latvian or Lithuanian Wikipedias. Obviously I'm not famous enough to be in there, but if I were, would I have any right to be treated differently from Rišī Sūneks?) A journalist writing about someone they've interviewed ... as part of doing the best they can for the people they serve, the readers, perhaps in some cases it's reasonable for them to ignore the preferences of the interviewee?

throwaway346434 4y ago
My problem is the author deliberately states they didnt bother to ask, and does so in a way that is almost bragging about it. Through the article, this happens in various forms. If the point of the article is to criticise someone's behaviour for being an "internet cool person"; opening by your opinion piece by stating you were too cool to bother to do something; and later stating that you as the writer are a normal person, and that you feel sick after infilitrating a group, there is a level of hypocrisy there. I agree with you there are legitimate cases for ignoring someone's preferences to improve the quality of information imparted. However, the author doesnt state any apart from "didnt bother".

rhino369 4y ago

Customized personal pronouns are just another name. They lose all value if they are high customizable. I get why people don't want to misgendered. But making up a new pronoun comes across as aggressive attention seeking.