4 ms·

Probably also, gay voice. I'm pretty sure a lot of young (not yet gay) men don't have that voice until later in life.

rrrrrrrrrrrryan 4y ago
I was friends with a nurse who told a story about a gay man who went into surgery. He had a heavy, stereotypical gay accent. But when he initially woke up after the surgery it was gone, and as the anesthesia faded, the accent slowly came back. I'm sure it varies for each individual, but for at least some gay men, some portion of their accent might be an affectation (even if it's largely subconscious).
- yamazakiwi 4y ago
  While a "gay accent" is subjective, let's stay on topic. I don't know if I believe this story in full. An awake person is likely to showcase more linguistic characteristics vs a sedated person which would in turn sound less affectatious. It's hard to say, "Yes, Turntina slay!" when your groggier than a koala bear. We don't know to what degree their voice "changed" but I find it more likely the story was slightly exaggerated to make the story appear more interesting.
asveikau 4y ago
I remember knowing a few people who had the stereotypical gay voice in high school or college, but did not talk about their sexuality, then lived as openly gay later on. So I don't think it always starts later in life, seems like it can even precede being out. A college girlfriend even chewed me out for assuming one of those guys was gay based on the voice, and insisted he was straight. I think he is out now. It would be interesting to see a linguistic or otherwise academic study on those vocal features. I'm sure people have looked at it. Here's a Wikipedia article: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_male_speech https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_male_speech
- yamazakiwi 4y ago
  Where I live it gets confusing as a lot of people put off those signals but are in instead just extra friendly straight people. I thought a coworker was giving me signals previously and asked them if they use Grindr, and they said "I'm not gay", and I had to save face by saying "Oh sorry I meant Tinder, I said that because I'm gay haha, because I'm used to talking about the app I use haha, definitely not implying haha".
- fennecfoxy 4y ago
  As a not so fem gay man myself I don't really hear this in my own voice. I have heard it from some in the gay community and not from others. And in fact I have heard it in straight men, too - gaydar is a big mishmash of various observations - speaking in that voice can lead you to think someone might be gay but upon further examination, types of eye contact etc can show that they're not. I think stereotyping everyone that speaks in a "gay" manner is a hurtful mistake.
  - asveikau 4y ago
    You're right. It's not accurate all the time, it's a stereotype, it's misused to judge people, embracing it too much means losing sight of everyone's individuality. Yet it has some cultural place and correlation. I think it's worthy of study by linguists or social scientists and so on. I was finding it hard to talk about this without sounding offensive. As a straight guy I don't know how it reads to others.
fennecfoxy 4y ago
Actually the "gay voice" is subconcious feminisation, imo. Of which there are plenty of gay men who consciously or subconsciously style themselves with feminine traits. But there are plenty of gay men such as myself who embrace more masculine traits; it's just that a long history of a homophobic society suppressed exposure of the public to "normal" gay dudes. It doesn't help either that straight script writers wrote stereotype fem gay characters for laffs. But then in modern times a large portion gay men working in the industry are the fem type and therefore those are the characters they write or play.

I was friends with a nurse who told a story about a gay man who went into surgery. He had a heavy, stereotypical gay accent. But when he initially woke up after the surgery it was gone, and as the anesthesia faded, the accent slowly came back. I'm sure it varies for each individual, but for at least some gay men, some portion of their accent might be an affectation (even if it's largely subconscious).

yamazakiwi 4y ago
While a "gay accent" is subjective, let's stay on topic. I don't know if I believe this story in full. An awake person is likely to showcase more linguistic characteristics vs a sedated person which would in turn sound less affectatious. It's hard to say, "Yes, Turntina slay!" when your groggier than a koala bear. We don't know to what degree their voice "changed" but I find it more likely the story was slightly exaggerated to make the story appear more interesting.

asveikau 4y ago

I remember knowing a few people who had the stereotypical gay voice in high school or college, but did not talk about their sexuality, then lived as openly gay later on. So I don't think it always starts later in life, seems like it can even precede being out. A college girlfriend even chewed me out for assuming one of those guys was gay based on the voice, and insisted he was straight. I think he is out now. It would be interesting to see a linguistic or otherwise academic study on those vocal features. I'm sure people have looked at it. Here's a Wikipedia article: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_male_speech https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_male_speech

yamazakiwi 4y ago
Where I live it gets confusing as a lot of people put off those signals but are in instead just extra friendly straight people. I thought a coworker was giving me signals previously and asked them if they use Grindr, and they said "I'm not gay", and I had to save face by saying "Oh sorry I meant Tinder, I said that because I'm gay haha, because I'm used to talking about the app I use haha, definitely not implying haha".
fennecfoxy 4y ago
As a not so fem gay man myself I don't really hear this in my own voice. I have heard it from some in the gay community and not from others. And in fact I have heard it in straight men, too - gaydar is a big mishmash of various observations - speaking in that voice can lead you to think someone might be gay but upon further examination, types of eye contact etc can show that they're not. I think stereotyping everyone that speaks in a "gay" manner is a hurtful mistake.
- asveikau 4y ago
  You're right. It's not accurate all the time, it's a stereotype, it's misused to judge people, embracing it too much means losing sight of everyone's individuality. Yet it has some cultural place and correlation. I think it's worthy of study by linguists or social scientists and so on. I was finding it hard to talk about this without sounding offensive. As a straight guy I don't know how it reads to others.

fennecfoxy 4y ago

Actually the "gay voice" is subconcious feminisation, imo. Of which there are plenty of gay men who consciously or subconsciously style themselves with feminine traits. But there are plenty of gay men such as myself who embrace more masculine traits; it's just that a long history of a homophobic society suppressed exposure of the public to "normal" gay dudes. It doesn't help either that straight script writers wrote stereotype fem gay characters for laffs. But then in modern times a large portion gay men working in the industry are the fem type and therefore those are the characters they write or play.