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More interesting are the potential social effects of pornography, in terms of relationship expectations. In many Western nations, we have a plummeting birth ra

by feffra 4y ago

More interesting are the potential social effects of pornography, in terms of relationship expectations. In many Western nations, we have a plummeting birth rate, and this may well be because women are increasingly refusing to have sex on men's terms. Immersed in violent, degrading pornography, the expectations of many men regarding sex are now incompatible with women who want a loving relationship in which to raise a family.

brookst 4y ago
> women are increasingly refusing to have sex on men's terms [citation needed]
RamblingCTO 4y ago
I don't know. In my experience most of my sexual partners wanted choking, forceful behaviour. Also, there's so much porn that's not violent or degrading. Maybe don't extrapolate from yourself ;)
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
watwut 4y ago
Citation need for the claim that people dont have babies cause of refusal to have sex. Afaik, there is enough sex going on to produce babies, but people use protection to specifically avoid babies.
MrStonedOne 4y ago
AlexandrB 4y ago
> Immersed in violent, degrading pornography, the expectations of many men regarding sex are now incompatible with women who want a loving relationship in which to raise a family. This is just traditional gender roles applied to the bedroom. There are certainly women (and men) who want nothing except gentle, loving sex. But that's not universal for either gender. Likewise for any fetish you can name. The trick is finding someone who you overlap with enough to make things work, which is why "no sex before marriage" seems so self-defeating to me.
fleddr 4y ago
Completely baseless claim. The situation is really very simple. Many people in developing nations NEED to have children due to the lack of a pension system. Secondary factors are a lack of education, contraception, and traditional societal expectations. All of these reasons can be summed up as the choice of having children, as well as how many, not being fully free. In a situation where people are free to decide on wanting children (and how many), and not really REQUIRE them, they will go for 0-2. When given the choice, people simply do not want more. It's as simple as that. This is a universal finding throughout the world. 0-2, which typically averages to 1.6 - 1.8 in many countries, is below replacement rate. Mystery solved. We simply don't want more. What if we would need to work less, would we have more children? No. What if we had higher incomes, better child support, would we have more children? No. Counter intuitively, the "luxury" of having a say in having children means we have less of them.
swader999 4y ago
Wait, men can have terms?
Mikeb85 4y ago
> In many Western nations, we have a plummeting birth rate, and this may well be because women are increasingly refusing to have sex on men's terms. Immersed in violent, degrading pornography, the expectations of many men regarding sex are now incompatible with women who want a loving relationship in which to raise a family. That's not it at all. Women are more picky with regards to partners because they have more economic agency. Kids also aren't a given for the same reason, plus less societal pressure to have kids. This is purely anecdotal but more of my partners were into "rough" sex than 18 year old me would have ever expected. Women (and men) also have much different criteria for casual sex versus life partners...

by feffra 4y ago

brookst 4y ago

> women are increasingly refusing to have sex on men's terms [citation needed]

RamblingCTO 4y ago

I don't know. In my experience most of my sexual partners wanted choking, forceful behaviour. Also, there's so much porn that's not violent or degrading. Maybe don't extrapolate from yourself ;)

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

watwut 4y ago

Citation need for the claim that people dont have babies cause of refusal to have sex. Afaik, there is enough sex going on to produce babies, but people use protection to specifically avoid babies.

MrStonedOne 4y ago

AlexandrB 4y ago

> Immersed in violent, degrading pornography, the expectations of many men regarding sex are now incompatible with women who want a loving relationship in which to raise a family. This is just traditional gender roles applied to the bedroom. There are certainly women (and men) who want nothing except gentle, loving sex. But that's not universal for either gender. Likewise for any fetish you can name. The trick is finding someone who you overlap with enough to make things work, which is why "no sex before marriage" seems so self-defeating to me.

fleddr 4y ago

Completely baseless claim. The situation is really very simple. Many people in developing nations NEED to have children due to the lack of a pension system. Secondary factors are a lack of education, contraception, and traditional societal expectations. All of these reasons can be summed up as the choice of having children, as well as how many, not being fully free. In a situation where people are free to decide on wanting children (and how many), and not really REQUIRE them, they will go for 0-2. When given the choice, people simply do not want more. It's as simple as that. This is a universal finding throughout the world. 0-2, which typically averages to 1.6 - 1.8 in many countries, is below replacement rate. Mystery solved. We simply don't want more. What if we would need to work less, would we have more children? No. What if we had higher incomes, better child support, would we have more children? No. Counter intuitively, the "luxury" of having a say in having children means we have less of them.

swader999 4y ago

Wait, men can have terms?

Mikeb85 4y ago

> In many Western nations, we have a plummeting birth rate, and this may well be because women are increasingly refusing to have sex on men's terms. Immersed in violent, degrading pornography, the expectations of many men regarding sex are now incompatible with women who want a loving relationship in which to raise a family. That's not it at all. Women are more picky with regards to partners because they have more economic agency. Kids also aren't a given for the same reason, plus less societal pressure to have kids. This is purely anecdotal but more of my partners were into "rough" sex than 18 year old me would have ever expected. Women (and men) also have much different criteria for casual sex versus life partners...