10 ms·

Ask HN: Getting up after repeated failures?

This post probably won't be well accepted in the Hacker News community since it's come out as more of a rant, but I don't really care anymore. So Hacker News, I'm 30. Not super old, but I've got a good decade in the software world under my belt to a large variety of all the garbage there is to see. My first job was at a medium sized corp, and after about 3 years, I left to escape the typical pain points of corporate life (slow / no projects, lazy / unmotivated coworkers obviously there only for the paycheck, too much red tape and processes, etc., etc., etc....) I then joined a small company, where we built what in my mind was a next gen e-commerce shop (real time product stock checks, multiple currency support, etc.) only to have the project (a 1.5 year project, mind you) not be payed for and then in the end scraped for a shittier one (MUCH shittier, the site they arrived at looks like 2001, and many features are missing, its amazing you can even get through the checkout process). After leaving that company, I joined a startup which was initially marketed to me as very fast growing, with a $__M valuation, and well funded. They offered me a 3% stake, which I thought was a lot. I'd also be the full owner of the tech stack here. All factors combined (tech ownership and stake), I took the job. Fast forward another 1.5 years: I built dozens of new features for this app, a payment system (TWICE, because the founders didn't know what the hell they wanted), and much more. Now today the engineers have to go on "pause" because there is not enough funding and funding opportunities are rapidly drying up. "But don't worry! We can hire you out to some other XYZ company for a few months while we get our act together because we are stupid!" I could hardly contain my rage when I heard this, I didn't sign up for this shit, if I wanted to be a consultant, I would have done it myself. I'm sick of being lied to and cheated by clowns who have the tiniest sliver of the tech and app building experience (not to mention the wisdom / foresight / knowhow) I have, only to end up back where I started in approximately 2 year cycles. _Every single time_ I have held up on my end, putting in the hours, producing quality, shippable product, only to get a pile of shit in return. What's the point of giving my good faith and hard work if it has NEVER once been returned to me? I was raised as a respectful and hardworking individual, and went on to university and learned how to be an ethical and responsible engineer, all of which I've taken to heart. But over and over again the world of idiotic, confused, and greedy business clowns beat my spirit down. I've even had notions to leave software entirely and find some other career path. Indeed, I'll admit, it's partially my fault, I consistently buy into the dreamer mentality before fullying doing my research, but I think that is in a bit of all us hackers, and it's a hard feeling to ignore. (At least for me) The one shining star for me in all this was a period of 5 months between the e-commerce and startup fiascos where I was working for myself - I created a ~$50-100 MRR SaaS product, published some courses, youtube videos, and blog posts. The problem is I didn't make enough money right away and I had to scramble back to find a job. (Though now the time spent from those short 5 months has led to approximately $400-600 MRR total) Anyway, I've got half a mind to just go fully indy, I'm just worried I won't make enough money fast enough, and I'll be back where I started, working for some goon company with clueless C-levels and processes fettered with incompetence. So HN, what do I do here? Is this just the reality of software life? Or am I just facing burnout? Should I expect repeated beat downs and failures like this forever? Really getting sick of the whole thing. I just feel stuck.

nonameiguess 4y ago
This isn't just the reality of software life. It's the reality of any career whatsoever. Most organizational endeavors fail. Just to give you a quick rundown of all the different things I've done as an adult: - Helped open one of the original stores in Downtown Disney as inventory manager. Company no longer exists. - Helped open one of the first Great Indoors, an attempt by Sears to get more serious into furniture and interior decorating. Company no longer exists. - Director of Development at a youth mentoring nonprofit. The grant that funded my position was canceled after six months and I was gone. - Performer at Disneyland. By far the most fun I've ever had at a job. I had honest to god groupies who bought annual passes and followed me around and stalked me. But Disney Parks had serious cutbacks after 9/11 and that included me. - Army officer during Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns. You think it's disappointing to see a product not launch? Try training up a foreign government for 20 years only to see the Taliban sweep in and kill everyone the minute you leave. - Software responsible for the initial ground processing of all US spy satellite collections. One of the most successful and longest-running programs in the entire government, staffed by passionate domain experts who have often held the same job for decades. I can't really tell you jack shit about it, but I'll say I've seen some stuff not many get to see and I sleep much better at night having been able to get information raw rather than filtered through a scare-mongering public media that largely doesn't know what it's talking about. I currently still work on military software projects, but at this point strictly unclassified because I like to work from home. Some projects have failed, some have not, some management has been short-sighted shitheads that sabotaged what could have been great, some have been legitimate visionaries that have pushed through real change and innovation that the military and government in general badly needs, pulling Congress behind them kicking and screaming. It's not Facebook pay, but I'm still making six times what I made working in any other industry I've been in. Software is by far the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I haven't ever had to bail a subordinate out of prison at 1 AM on a Sunday morning for hitting his wife. I haven't had to find a room to quarantine someone in for a week while an investigation takes place. I've never had a direct report shoot himself in the face two days before returning from overseas. I've never been forced to fire a woman I knew was innocent, also pregnant, and likely to end up on the street, but the owner didn't care. All things I've had to do in other jobs. Should you go indy? I can't advise you there. I would never even try, personally. I'm far more risk averse now than when I was younger. I'm sure my dad didn't love waking up at 3 AM to go literally wade through shit as an LA County Parks and Rec plumber for 40 years, but he did it anyway and I had a stable and predictable childhood and grew up secure and safe because he did that. I'll never scoff at building anything at all that sells even a dollar, but just be aware that $600 MRR is about half what I get from VA disability for having ten screws in my spine, and that's tax-exempt. It's not something you can live on. Assuming the checks never bounced, it seems to me like you ultimately came out ahead from every single one of these jobs. One more day you stayed alive, paid all your bills, and one day closer to retirement. It's a grind, but man, you could have been a slave, you could have been a concentration camp victim, you could have been a coal miner, you could have been a child during a cholera outbreak, you could have been a native when the Spanish first came to the Americas, you could have been any animal other than a human that lives for maybe a few months before getting ripped to shreds by a bigger animal or starving to death. Every single one of us here got one of the greatest deals any sentient creature has ever gotten. We're the lucky ones.

nonameiguess 4y ago

This isn't just the reality of software life. It's the reality of any career whatsoever. Most organizational endeavors fail. Just to give you a quick rundown of all the different things I've done as an adult: - Helped open one of the original stores in Downtown Disney as inventory manager. Company no longer exists. - Helped open one of the first Great Indoors, an attempt by Sears to get more serious into furniture and interior decorating. Company no longer exists. - Director of Development at a youth mentoring nonprofit. The grant that funded my position was canceled after six months and I was gone. - Performer at Disneyland. By far the most fun I've ever had at a job. I had honest to god groupies who bought annual passes and followed me around and stalked me. But Disney Parks had serious cutbacks after 9/11 and that included me. - Army officer during Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns. You think it's disappointing to see a product not launch? Try training up a foreign government for 20 years only to see the Taliban sweep in and kill everyone the minute you leave. - Software responsible for the initial ground processing of all US spy satellite collections. One of the most successful and longest-running programs in the entire government, staffed by passionate domain experts who have often held the same job for decades. I can't really tell you jack shit about it, but I'll say I've seen some stuff not many get to see and I sleep much better at night having been able to get information raw rather than filtered through a scare-mongering public media that largely doesn't know what it's talking about. I currently still work on military software projects, but at this point strictly unclassified because I like to work from home. Some projects have failed, some have not, some management has been short-sighted shitheads that sabotaged what could have been great, some have been legitimate visionaries that have pushed through real change and innovation that the military and government in general badly needs, pulling Congress behind them kicking and screaming. It's not Facebook pay, but I'm still making six times what I made working in any other industry I've been in. Software is by far the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I haven't ever had to bail a subordinate out of prison at 1 AM on a Sunday morning for hitting his wife. I haven't had to find a room to quarantine someone in for a week while an investigation takes place. I've never had a direct report shoot himself in the face two days before returning from overseas. I've never been forced to fire a woman I knew was innocent, also pregnant, and likely to end up on the street, but the owner didn't care. All things I've had to do in other jobs. Should you go indy? I can't advise you there. I would never even try, personally. I'm far more risk averse now than when I was younger. I'm sure my dad didn't love waking up at 3 AM to go literally wade through shit as an LA County Parks and Rec plumber for 40 years, but he did it anyway and I had a stable and predictable childhood and grew up secure and safe because he did that. I'll never scoff at building anything at all that sells even a dollar, but just be aware that $600 MRR is about half what I get from VA disability for having ten screws in my spine, and that's tax-exempt. It's not something you can live on. Assuming the checks never bounced, it seems to me like you ultimately came out ahead from every single one of these jobs. One more day you stayed alive, paid all your bills, and one day closer to retirement. It's a grind, but man, you could have been a slave, you could have been a concentration camp victim, you could have been a coal miner, you could have been a child during a cholera outbreak, you could have been a native when the Spanish first came to the Americas, you could have been any animal other than a human that lives for maybe a few months before getting ripped to shreds by a bigger animal or starving to death. Every single one of us here got one of the greatest deals any sentient creature has ever gotten. We're the lucky ones.