8 ms·

It is interesting, I have a friend group that consists of about 5 married couples all of whom have been having issues conceiving and have been trying for a whil

• AlgorithmicTime 4y ago
  Interesting. Our first took about 4 or 5 months? I think my wife stopped her birth control at the end of July and we conceived in December. Our second took 2 months, my wife stopped her birth control in September and we conceived in November. We're both in our mid-30s. Anecdotally, my wife's sister and her husband have been trying for almost a year? And they've had one miscarriage and nothing else.
  • Auracle 4y ago
    My wife’s sister got pregnant her second time before she even had her period after their first baby. My wife and I tried 3 years with several IUI rounds and eventually had to resort to IVF.
  • idlehand 4y ago
    I think a higher rate of miscarriages also limits post-30s fertility for many women. A miscarriage is at least one and often multiple months of time lost, while the clock is ticking.
• philyorkhunt 4y ago
• bhouston 4y ago
  > the potential impact of the increased difficulty in having children is. Less people in the world. Look at Japan and South Korean population projections out 50 to 75 years -- they may cut their populations in half, and it could keep going? Hard to extrapolate trends out that far though...
  • aspyct 4y ago
    Sorry, but isn't that a good thing? Putting aside the fact that we're (at least in Europe) paying for a pension fund we'll never have, isn't reducing the amount of people on earth the right solution for basically all problems long term?
    • smcg 4y ago
      It's reductionist at best to say that it solves all problems. It definitely creates some others and doesn't solve everything.
    • Auracle 4y ago
      Not if it’s unequal, and infertility is a cruel way to lower the population. Wanting kids and struggling to have them absolutely wrecks you emotionally, and it’s even worse for women. But also, if it’s chemically related it might hit first world countries harder than third world countries. Imagine what would happen if all aid was cut to Africa.
    • adamsmith143 4y ago
      Basically every major economy completely relies on the fact that there will be more workers/consumers in the future when you break that trend you break the economy. Expect South Korea, Japan and others with demographic inversions coming to have major major issues in the future.
    • ghiculescu 4y ago
      If there are less kids, the ability to pay for your pension fund in 40 years time will be much much harder than it is today. So barring other fundamental changes, more kids will help. Most other problems on earth will be solved by more technology.
• nervousvarun 4y ago
  n=1 but with my daughter we had issues and ended up resorting to IVF. During the "issues" phase my count was tested and was considered good...problem is/was on my wife's side...all to say conception issues aren't all down to sperm counts (not that you implied that, just wanted it out there).
  • wongarsu 4y ago
    better phrasing: while trying to conceive our daughter :)
    • vinibrito 4y ago
      xD Jesus!
  • Auracle 4y ago
    That’s true, but keep in mind there are issues that can happen on the women’s side where you having twice as many sperm could brute force their way past it. One example would be her immune system attacking your sperm.
• rc_hackernews 4y ago
  This has been my exact experience too. Wife and I...no trouble conceiving. Friends in late 20's to early 30's have had a lot of trouble conceiving, i.e. they needed to do IVF. Not sure what's going on with that, and this is purely anecdotal, but I've been hearing people having troubles having kids a lot it seems.
  • dr_dshiv 4y ago
    Are you guys really bragging about your fecund sperms on HN? What’s your secret? Is it the microdosing?
    • matai_kolila 4y ago
      I wonder if it's because this is probably the only place they feel they can get away with bragging, but have been "proud" of their "accomplishment" for some time now.
    • rc_hackernews 4y ago
      In no way was my intention to brag. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the parent commenter's intention either. Just people reflecting and commenting on their experiences on this topic. I'll keep in mind how comments like that come off in the future.
• beowulfey 4y ago
  I think many people would be surprised at how many couples have done IVF recently… I wish I had reliable numbers for it.
  • Auracle 4y ago
    I was surprised at what the other clients looked like in our IVF clinic’s waiting room. I was expecting us to be the only youngish, fit couple. Instead they all looked like us other than one woman who was maybe 35 or so.
  • edgyquant 4y ago
    This seems scary to me. Imagine a world where children have to be conceived in this way: it would be trivial for some authoritarian governments to now control child birth. I don’t mean disincentivizing like China did but actual control.
    • _cenw 4y ago
      Republican anti-abortion lobby groups are already planning this. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tennessee-republicans-abortion-ivf-contraception_n_63750773e4b0afce046a1d02 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tennessee-republicans-abortio...
      • deleted 4y ago
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• dibt 4y ago
  > many in our age bracket 20-30 year olds are struggling to have children Wow... I would have thought you were referring to people that were older. I wonder what the common denominator is there, or if your experience is an outlier. It's obviously noteworthy enough to share. Maybe people that conceive without issue aren't commenting on it as much?
  • meristem 4y ago
    Some fertility problems go unnoticed for a decade. I suggest to my younger (25-29) female friends to have their egg reserve estimated, even if they at that point are not thinking about ever having children. This is because the original issue can be upstream of the couple: a parent who had early menopause, or low ovarian reserve, may pass similar characteristics down to their female progeny. (Source: conversations with IVF team)
    • dibt 4y ago
      > I suggest to my younger (25-29) female friends to have their egg reserve estimated hmm... yeah, this would be an interesting biomarker for those in their twenties. It could be valuable later in life. I was surprised to learn women are born with 1-2 million eggs. By 20 years old, they only have 200k-300k left. They lose more every year.
  • confuseddesi 4y ago
    I wonder if there is any correlation with the use of hormonal birth control prior to attempting to conceive.
    • dibt 4y ago
      Yes, I wonder the same. After learning about the side effects of birth control, it's concerning that it's the default recommendation for young women, and that they're on it all the time. I understand why. I don't know what a reasonable alternative would be. Abstinence isn't a reasonable alternative.
      • 4y ago
• anon291 4y ago
  I'm a Catholic and fairly traditionally minded and am surprised by what you're saying since at my church, couples in this age range are on their fourth or fifth kid by the time they're 30. Even amongst the newest married couples, most are expecting within the first year. I understand we have different beliefs and such but since we're all in the same environment, how do we explain the simultaneous existence of the seemingly normal-to-hyper fertile? Surely there is more than just 'its environmental'
  • kneebonian 4y ago
    > I understand we have different beliefs and such but since we're all in the same environment, Interesting you mention that the group I am referring to and myself are all members of religion generally associated with large families as well. I should also clarify all of them have at least 2 kids at this point. Which is another interesting data point of many of them didn't have difficulty with their first couple of kids but now are struggling.
    • anon291 4y ago
      Okay, well you didn't mention this. This is certainly more interesting. I've heard of one couple that I know who are having issues, but they are now much older than they were. I'll have to wait and see. I don't really have any anecdata to confirm or dispute here. I wish them the best of luck. I will say, the first couple of kids make it harder to conceive the rest. Logistically speaking... And also , men's and women's stress levels with young children cannot be good for fertility
  • someweirdperson 4y ago
    > are on their fourth or fifth kid by the time they're 30. That's the difference. Couples that plan explicitly typically don't plan their firstborn before 30.
    • anon291 4y ago
      In what sense? My wife and I certainly planned our first child very young (for the US at least; internationally, we were on the late end, like most Americans)
• gitfan86 4y ago
  In my experience it was a stress issue for the couples that were having trouble that I know. One friend and his wife gave up alcohol, caffeine and meat, it seemed like there was just a ton of stress they had put on getting pregnant for 6 months. It wasn't until after they took a break from trying that they got pregnant one night after drinking. I think modern medicine somewhat ignores how powerful the human mind is. It is possible that my friend wasn't actually performing as well as he thought he was, also possible that the wife had 'calculated' the exact day that conception should happen. Instead of listening to her body, evolutionarily it would be advantageous for women to be horny while most fertile in the cycle.
  • jvanderbot 4y ago
    Well, that or all the endocrine disruptors just made it take forever. Probably just took them a long time and they happened to conceive after making those changes. Certainly they tried many methods over time, and with a low% chance per attempt, they'll conceive after a bunch of 'interventions'.
  • lambdaba 4y ago
    > alcohol, caffeine and meat one of these is definitely not like the others... An all-meat diet I would bet is the best to conceive, because it's the best for hormonal health, judging by the countless anecdotes (e.g. women regaining their cycles after many years) I'm seeing. Anyway, I just wanted to point that out, it's still shocking to me that people still believe that meat is detrimental to health.
    • pcthrowaway 4y ago
      Ahh, anecdotes about consuming meat, I can't think of anything more scientifically rigorous and less influenced by sentiment. My own anecdotes tell me that eating meat vastly decreases your fertility rate. Some anecdotes add that it's because of the animal hormones you consume, others state that it's because meat-eating is associated with other health conditions which interfere with conception (obesity, high cholesterol, cancer), and yet other anecdotes don't assign a cause to the increased fertility from leaving out meat. As anecdotes, these are all of course, incredibly scientific.
• rootusrootus 4y ago
  My guess is luck. In my little circle of friends, nobody had any trouble conceiving. Heck, some were provably one-and-done (sad though it may sound, one of my friends only had sex with his wife when she was ready for them to have kids. Do it, wait a few weeks, try again, but they didn't have to try twice for either of their kids). One of my friends had two kids and his wife really wanted a third, then they had twins. Ha, whoops!
• deleted 4y ago
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• bamboozled 4y ago
  Many old people tell us about all types of fertility ceremonies etc available to us at a local shrine in order to help my partner and I get pregnant if we needed it. I don't think it's all that new to be honest, else these ceremonies wouldn't exist.
  • xputer 4y ago
    Yup, part of it is definitely that millennials have had it bashed in to them that it's super easy to get pregnant so never have sex without precautions and only stay thinking about having kids when you're "ready". Many millenials wait until they're thirty and probably think that they should be able to get pregnant in one or two months, when it can easily take half a year. At least that was my own personal experience trying to get pregnant. It became pretty stressful after trying a few cycles with no result.
• simonsquiff 4y ago
  One tip - get some ovulation sticks. My wife and I never realised but the egg is actually only around for a single day - it must be fertilised in those 24 hours. If you have sex after that there is zero chance of conceiving, sperm can hang around so you can conceive with sex a few days before. But outside that really small window you are wasting your time. The actual accurate window is massive guess work - some women are not that regular with ovulation. Ovulation sticks tell you exactly what’s going on - tell you when ovulation is coming, so that’s when you have lots of sex. Before we used them we basically had sex loads (outside this window) which was worse than nothing as it makes you less likely to be going hard in the right window. First time we used the sticks she got pregnant immediately. We had a friend who had been trying for 8 years to have a kid, told us she was just about giving up and thinking of adoption. We asked if she used the ovulation sticks - “what are they??” We gave her the rest of ours and a couple of months later she was pregnant, now has a baby. So yeah, these things don’t seem to be as well known as they should be, and can be a massive help.
  • berjin 4y ago
    The woman's libido should be really high when she is fertile and men can tell as well; She smells better, and mechanically the sex works better as there is there is more lubrication and it just feels much better.
  • jimbob45 4y ago
    To add to this, home sperm test kits can help rule out the man as well. Some men don't know to avoid vigorous exercise, hot showers, and jacuzzis until they realize how low their sperm counts actually are. (The below kit isn't the only kit. Shop around if this is pertinent to your interests because I don't want to feel like I'm shilling this specific one). https://www.amazon.com/YO-Android-Description-Compatibility-Fertility/dp/B07FX2R3RM https://www.amazon.com/YO-Android-Description-Compatibility-...