I know my son has bullying tendencies, and he actually struggles to maintain close friendships because of it. Like you say though, it isn’t intentional at all.

I know my son has bullying tendencies, and he actually struggles to maintain close friendships because of it. Like you say though, it isn’t intentional at all. He would much rather keep his friends and have an easier time socializing. The trouble is that he, for some reason, sees elevating himself and pushing others down as an appropriate thing to do at times. He is fairly insecure and reflexively does this. His mom is quite similar, and like him, also unaware of how it affects people. When either of them do this, they are entirely oblivious to how uncomfortable or upset they’ve made someone feel. His mom is much better at apologizing even if incredulously, but he still lacks the social tact to recognize the importance of acknowledging and apologizing if it was insensitive. If anything, over time he may actually be less receptive to the idea that he’s doing anything at all. I have no doubt that many kids will think he was a bit of a jock and a bully later in life. He will remember school as a somewhat lonely and confusing point in time. Even discussing this with him openly has yielded no results. It makes no sense to him. Likewise, his mom is also still positive that anyone she offends simply misunderstood her, or that people are too sensitive or lack a sense of humour. I wish I understood it better. At any rate, I’m fairly certain that a lot of bullies are very misunderstood and often potentially quite miserable and lonely. The more they push people away, the fewer opportunities they get to grow and improve themselves with deeper relationships. It’s not a good situation for anyone.