A counterblanace to this: My stepfather is dying of melanoma. My mom says the last thing she wants is people bringing food by--largely because she just doesn't

A counterblanace to this: My stepfather is dying of melanoma. My mom says the last thing she wants is people bringing food by--largely because she just doesn't have the energy left to deal with socializing, in any capacity, even the polite "Oh, thanks" of receiving the food, or much worse the inevitable "So how's he doing? How are you?" I considered asking her if something like leaving a fridge accessible for people to stash things in without contact would help, but I felt a bit like I was missing the point: I think so often in situations like this we, those outside of the emotional experience, focus on ways we can help because it makes us feel better. Consistently what's been helpful for her, and for me, in talking with others isn't so much having suggestions or problem-solving, but just sharing the absolutely crushing absurdity of the experience of watching another human slowly die, and have the other person say "I don't even know what to say, that just sounds exhausting/insane/stressful." Culturally we seem to focus so much on accelerating these seasons of grief because we don't want people to remain in pain, but some of it's necessary. There's a balance of being able to sit in the loss, and let it be real, that's a necessary part of the grieving process. I might be missing your point a bit: of course having access to healthy food is useful when you're incapable of doing it yourself. I think I just personally wish for more awareness that most "outsiders'" immediate reaction when exposed to emotional pain of this magnitude is to find A Thing To Do to alleviate them of the emotional pressure they feel, regardless of the energy it requires from the sufferer to engage with that.