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My parents basically said “If you keep getting bullied, assault the bully, try to draw blood, and we’ll take you out for ice cream if you get suspended.” Highl

My parents basically said “If you keep getting bullied, assault the bully, try to draw blood, and we’ll take you out for ice cream if you get suspended.” Highly recommended for any parents of boys out there - it is the best way to address this problem.

bradlys 4y ago
I mean - great advice if you’re as big as the bully. As a kid who was often smaller than kids 2-3 younger than him all the way to his senior year in high school… Can’t say that advice would go over well.
- troon-lover 4y ago
- progrus 4y ago
  In that case, maybe some Karate lessons first? I was also a tiny kid and it worked for me…
- deathanatos 4y ago
  Also, if the fight is fair. It was never 1 v 1, in my childhood, it was 1 v n. Even if you do catch the bully in a 1 v 1 fight, will the next fight be 1 v 1?
  - progrus 4y ago
    The ideal situation is with as many bystanders watching as possible. That sucks if you have a gang after you, but perhaps it can be avoided in the first place by not being an easy target. I do agree that this won’t work in all situations.
    - techdragon 4y ago
      In High School, lined up waiting for an elective class, dozens of witnesses... I took this advice... I stood up to a bully, and since they were already "up in my grill" they were able to sucker punch me, right in the diaphragm, without having to raise their arm and make a big show, fist quick raise to ~90 degree bent elbow and jabbed strait forward.. leaving me struggling to stand and winded for several minutes... and because they were so close, no one clearly saw what they did... leading to dozens of people being, no witnesses at all... I changed classes. For everyone that thinks this advice always works... some bullies aren't cowards they're worse... they are arrogant assholes that think they can get away with what they are doing, or are entitled to do it... they may not back down, and may just get worse when confronted. ... Be careful
      - progrus 4y ago
        Every decision you make carries some risk. This is true.
SoftTalker 4y ago
> we’ll take you out for ice cream if you get suspended. Is that before or after their arrest, incarceration and juvenile court hearing?
- progrus 4y ago
  We lived in a normal city where this wasn’t much of a risk, not San Francisco. Also, most bullies wouldn’t tell anyone, since they are usually bullying people in the first place because their parents abuse or ignore them. Needless to say, if you are a shitty parent, this is a very bad idea.
dsego 4y ago
It can also backfire, depending on the kid's psyche. A troubled child could imaginably interpret that as carte blanche and overreact to a perceived threat or retaliate and get into serious trouble.
- P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago
  Well shit I guess they should just do nothing and die then. My decision to cross the street could result in me getting hit by a car, I'm still going to do so. Life is risk, these types of comments are useless.
fleddr 4y ago
Yep. I got my ass kicked in the playground by a much larger kid. Completely unprovoked. I came home crying, my dad told me to return to the playground and hit him back. I insisted that I couldn't, he's much larger and stronger. "Get a piece of wood then" I did. As I approached the playground, I felt ridiculous. This wood still wouldn't do anything. To my surprise, the bully fled the scene, clearly afraid. This incident has taught me a lot. It wasn't the wood that did it. It was the fact that I came back. He could now easily kick my ass again, wood or not. But I might come back yet again, and what (or who) will I bring next time? From fearful to being feared. A pure mind play. I do not believe in the perfect world-to-be where one day we've eradicated all bullies and other bad actors by educating them. Life will test you and learning to stand your ground and retaliate is a skill I wish we didn't need, but most definitely need. Address the problem from both angles at once.
- progrus 4y ago
  I never really got physically bullied because this was just understood in our house, so I was confident enough with the option to throw down that it didn’t happen. There was also the fact that my parents spent beyond their means for “good” schools - but I was a tiny kid and otherwise would have made an ideal target. I think two scuffles overall, both were the first and last time, and one of the bullies became my friend afterwards. No blood was drawn at any point. Having the confidence to start a fight with a bunch of classmates/teachers watching makes a big difference, they will usually break up the fight.
  - bradlys 4y ago
    Man - you grew up in such a sheltered world. The real world is much more cruel for most of us. You might have said you were a "tiny kid" but you were truly never at odds. I was constantly beat up, physically, until I was 16. It wasn't just by one kid, it was often by multiple. This was even in front of teachers, principles, etc. They watched and did nothing. Other kids watched and did nothing. We don't all get to live in nice communities. Other kids could pick me up by the neck and choke slam me down into the ground and did so. I wasn't able to do anything about it because I just wasn't that big. If I had done anything to fight against it - I would've been expelled. It's different when you're a small brown kid in a super racist small town America where your average parent is absentee and on meth half the time. Don't give advice when you never got into a physical confrontation to begin with. How fucking privileged.
blitz_skull 4y ago
100%. My wife and I are very explicit in our instruction to our son. It’s never “We don’t hit”; it’s always presented with context. Violence committed for the welfare of man is a virtue.
- progrus 4y ago
  Nice work! “We don’t hit girls” was an unqualified demand, though.

bradlys 4y ago

I mean - great advice if you’re as big as the bully. As a kid who was often smaller than kids 2-3 younger than him all the way to his senior year in high school… Can’t say that advice would go over well.

troon-lover 4y ago
progrus 4y ago
In that case, maybe some Karate lessons first? I was also a tiny kid and it worked for me…
deathanatos 4y ago
Also, if the fight is fair. It was never 1 v 1, in my childhood, it was 1 v n. Even if you do catch the bully in a 1 v 1 fight, will the next fight be 1 v 1?
- progrus 4y ago
  The ideal situation is with as many bystanders watching as possible. That sucks if you have a gang after you, but perhaps it can be avoided in the first place by not being an easy target. I do agree that this won’t work in all situations.
  - techdragon 4y ago
    In High School, lined up waiting for an elective class, dozens of witnesses... I took this advice... I stood up to a bully, and since they were already "up in my grill" they were able to sucker punch me, right in the diaphragm, without having to raise their arm and make a big show, fist quick raise to ~90 degree bent elbow and jabbed strait forward.. leaving me struggling to stand and winded for several minutes... and because they were so close, no one clearly saw what they did... leading to dozens of people being, no witnesses at all... I changed classes. For everyone that thinks this advice always works... some bullies aren't cowards they're worse... they are arrogant assholes that think they can get away with what they are doing, or are entitled to do it... they may not back down, and may just get worse when confronted. ... Be careful
    - progrus 4y ago
      Every decision you make carries some risk. This is true.

SoftTalker 4y ago

> we’ll take you out for ice cream if you get suspended. Is that before or after their arrest, incarceration and juvenile court hearing?

progrus 4y ago
We lived in a normal city where this wasn’t much of a risk, not San Francisco. Also, most bullies wouldn’t tell anyone, since they are usually bullying people in the first place because their parents abuse or ignore them. Needless to say, if you are a shitty parent, this is a very bad idea.

dsego 4y ago

It can also backfire, depending on the kid's psyche. A troubled child could imaginably interpret that as carte blanche and overreact to a perceived threat or retaliate and get into serious trouble.

P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago
Well shit I guess they should just do nothing and die then. My decision to cross the street could result in me getting hit by a car, I'm still going to do so. Life is risk, these types of comments are useless.

fleddr 4y ago

Yep. I got my ass kicked in the playground by a much larger kid. Completely unprovoked. I came home crying, my dad told me to return to the playground and hit him back. I insisted that I couldn't, he's much larger and stronger. "Get a piece of wood then" I did. As I approached the playground, I felt ridiculous. This wood still wouldn't do anything. To my surprise, the bully fled the scene, clearly afraid. This incident has taught me a lot. It wasn't the wood that did it. It was the fact that I came back. He could now easily kick my ass again, wood or not. But I might come back yet again, and what (or who) will I bring next time? From fearful to being feared. A pure mind play. I do not believe in the perfect world-to-be where one day we've eradicated all bullies and other bad actors by educating them. Life will test you and learning to stand your ground and retaliate is a skill I wish we didn't need, but most definitely need. Address the problem from both angles at once.

progrus 4y ago
I never really got physically bullied because this was just understood in our house, so I was confident enough with the option to throw down that it didn’t happen. There was also the fact that my parents spent beyond their means for “good” schools - but I was a tiny kid and otherwise would have made an ideal target. I think two scuffles overall, both were the first and last time, and one of the bullies became my friend afterwards. No blood was drawn at any point. Having the confidence to start a fight with a bunch of classmates/teachers watching makes a big difference, they will usually break up the fight.
- bradlys 4y ago
  Man - you grew up in such a sheltered world. The real world is much more cruel for most of us. You might have said you were a "tiny kid" but you were truly never at odds. I was constantly beat up, physically, until I was 16. It wasn't just by one kid, it was often by multiple. This was even in front of teachers, principles, etc. They watched and did nothing. Other kids watched and did nothing. We don't all get to live in nice communities. Other kids could pick me up by the neck and choke slam me down into the ground and did so. I wasn't able to do anything about it because I just wasn't that big. If I had done anything to fight against it - I would've been expelled. It's different when you're a small brown kid in a super racist small town America where your average parent is absentee and on meth half the time. Don't give advice when you never got into a physical confrontation to begin with. How fucking privileged.

blitz_skull 4y ago

100%. My wife and I are very explicit in our instruction to our son. It’s never “We don’t hit”; it’s always presented with context. Violence committed for the welfare of man is a virtue.

progrus 4y ago
Nice work! “We don’t hit girls” was an unqualified demand, though.