I'm 6 months out now from diagnosis/adderall. I've had ADHD (hyperactive/inattentive combo) all my life, but never got formally diagnosed until 6 mo ago. That f

I'm 6 months out now from diagnosis/adderall. I've had ADHD (hyperactive/inattentive combo) all my life, but never got formally diagnosed until 6 mo ago. That first month was weird. Started on 10mg IR (instance release) and felt no difference. Upped to 15mg and the effect was mildly noticeable. Went up to 20mg too fast and inadvertently got "high" for a few days, oops. Let me tell you, I totally understand why people become addicted to amphetamines. I felt like a young teenager again, it was glorious. The clarity was unbelievable. At day 4 on 20mg I suddenly started crashing hard when the meds wore off; suicidal thoughts and dark depression. I quickly went back down to 15mg and stayed there for another month. After month 2-3, I went back up to 20mg and that's where I've been since then just fine. The key is to build up slowly. Each day I can tell when the medication "switches on" and "switches off" because I start getting more focused and I'm actually getting things done. Procrastination is noticeably reduced as well. Unfortunately it seems the body builds a tolerance because as time goes on, the medication is becoming less and less effective. Also if I take any after 3PM, I get insomnia, so this means I only take it the first half of the day. The IR version lasts about 4-6 hours. I usually take it around 10am so I can focus for the core hours of work. This is kinda crappy because my family doesn't get the benefit unless it's on the weekend when I don't work. I totally understand that "do I really need these?" question. I was the same way for a looooong time. I viewed ADHD as an advantage for the first 30 years or so of my life. Then things got to a point where I couldn't even do the bare minimum and that's when I got desperate. In my opinion, it was a bit naive to ignore being medicated for so long. I should've started treatment years ago when I first started experiencing difficulties. You may or may not feel the same eventually.