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I have ADHD and Aspergers. Which results in extremely high anxiety. I did not get along with other children or people. In fact; I found them completely boring a

I have ADHD and Aspergers. Which results in extremely high anxiety. I did not get along with other children or people. In fact; I found them completely boring and had no desire to interact with anyone. My instinct at school was just to avoid them all. Eat alone, hang out in the school library. I have run into parents who homeschooled their children and let them follow their curiosity. Some of the results I saw them get were completely out of this world. The kids taught themselves multiple languages and instruments. I’m going to be faced with a similar choice with my kids. I will likely put them through public elementary school. Junior high I feel is abusive to children. They are going through very complex hormonal and emotional changes and on top of this you dunk them in a tank surrounded by parasites who are garaunteed to act like savages. With mobile phones and cameras. I think I could see a strong argument to skip junior high and high school altogether and explore home school. If anything like what happened to me happens to them (and I honestly didn’t have it that bad), I will seriously consider pulling them out. The damage that was done to me lasted 15 years. That is unacceptable. I personally had severe acne. Putting me in junior high to get taunted - irreparable self esteem damage. Parents need to understand. Let’s be honest. The elephant in the room is human beings get ahead by bullying Eachother and forming mobs and cliques. This behavior has shown up at every job I have ever had. The dumber the people are the more likely they will use this “strategy” to get ahead. It is the go to dumb person strategy. You can only avoid it often by working at smaller companies or developing much better social skills.

sokoloff 4y ago
> [guaranteed] to act like savages. While assigning them to read and discuss Lord of the Flies...
AtlasBarfed 4y ago
One of the things that happens is similar to the group psychology of hazing. A person perceives abuse as much worse than the person that deals it out. Hazing is the person being abused then delivering worse punishment than they received to the next round of people, again because their perception of the original hazing abuse was worse than what their abusers perceived. School tolerance of abuse/bullying is essentially this hazing cycle occurring over generations, more slowly. That's not the only fucked up human psychology loop in play. Denial, stockholm syndrome, and of course, laziness all come into play.
theonething 4y ago
We're strongly considering homeschooling our kid. We have reservations (read are scared of how hard it sounds compared to sending them off to school) but hearing about experiences like this move us in that direction. It sounds like a best of both worlds. Avoid bullies and other bs associated with institutional education and instead have a customized, curiosity driven education.
- poisonborz 4y ago
  ...and also to keep the kid in an associal bubble. Socialisation and experiencing/handling all kinds of people in life is the most important skill to be learned in school. I woulnt want to give this up for comfort.
  - theonething 4y ago
    > and also to keep the kid in an associal bubble. There are other ways to socialize kids besides school. As I understand it, things like field trips and social gatherings are an important part of a well balanced homeschool experience. Instead of just studying about government from books, take a field trip to City Hall, observe a public meeting and talk to people there. Spend time with other home school families (via homeschool associations) and other families in general. Take trips with them. Let the kids hangout among themselves. Homeschooling gives you that freedom. Anecdotally, I personally know homeschooled young adults that are confident, have great social and communication skills and are doing very well in life thus far.
    - poisonborz 4y ago
      The emphasis here is more on the bubble. Who will decide on this trip? The single homeschool teacher. Who would the kids meet regularly? Kids of parents who can afford homeschooling. Field trips are one-off short contained episodes and can't replace having to live daily life with dozens, hundreds of other kids, and dozens of teachers/input voices. Of course, a lot of them will be adverse, inefficient, aggressive, in different developmental stages. How to deal with them is the learning. The family home with understanding parents is still central to this. There is that, and the "out there". I feel that motivation of most homeschoolers - a lot of time fuelled by their own bad memories - is to provide an "adequate", contained, controlled chicken coop. Life is anything but that. I can't believe one can go in with a pharmacy scale and make a just fine sampling of daily societal life. Source, somehwat: I was also bullied in school a lot, but in the end I think I could learn and grew from the experience.

sokoloff 4y ago

> [guaranteed] to act like savages. While assigning them to read and discuss Lord of the Flies...

AtlasBarfed 4y ago

One of the things that happens is similar to the group psychology of hazing. A person perceives abuse as much worse than the person that deals it out. Hazing is the person being abused then delivering worse punishment than they received to the next round of people, again because their perception of the original hazing abuse was worse than what their abusers perceived. School tolerance of abuse/bullying is essentially this hazing cycle occurring over generations, more slowly. That's not the only fucked up human psychology loop in play. Denial, stockholm syndrome, and of course, laziness all come into play.

theonething 4y ago

We're strongly considering homeschooling our kid. We have reservations (read are scared of how hard it sounds compared to sending them off to school) but hearing about experiences like this move us in that direction. It sounds like a best of both worlds. Avoid bullies and other bs associated with institutional education and instead have a customized, curiosity driven education.

poisonborz 4y ago
...and also to keep the kid in an associal bubble. Socialisation and experiencing/handling all kinds of people in life is the most important skill to be learned in school. I woulnt want to give this up for comfort.
- theonething 4y ago
  > and also to keep the kid in an associal bubble. There are other ways to socialize kids besides school. As I understand it, things like field trips and social gatherings are an important part of a well balanced homeschool experience. Instead of just studying about government from books, take a field trip to City Hall, observe a public meeting and talk to people there. Spend time with other home school families (via homeschool associations) and other families in general. Take trips with them. Let the kids hangout among themselves. Homeschooling gives you that freedom. Anecdotally, I personally know homeschooled young adults that are confident, have great social and communication skills and are doing very well in life thus far.
  - poisonborz 4y ago
    The emphasis here is more on the bubble. Who will decide on this trip? The single homeschool teacher. Who would the kids meet regularly? Kids of parents who can afford homeschooling. Field trips are one-off short contained episodes and can't replace having to live daily life with dozens, hundreds of other kids, and dozens of teachers/input voices. Of course, a lot of them will be adverse, inefficient, aggressive, in different developmental stages. How to deal with them is the learning. The family home with understanding parents is still central to this. There is that, and the "out there". I feel that motivation of most homeschoolers - a lot of time fuelled by their own bad memories - is to provide an "adequate", contained, controlled chicken coop. Life is anything but that. I can't believe one can go in with a pharmacy scale and make a just fine sampling of daily societal life. Source, somehwat: I was also bullied in school a lot, but in the end I think I could learn and grew from the experience.