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Interesting counterexample. I would argue that throwing tantrums when distressed — instead of bottling up anger, frustration, and disappointment — actually enab

by nadavr 4y ago

Interesting counterexample. I would argue that throwing tantrums when distressed — instead of bottling up anger, frustration, and disappointment — actually enables children to embrace happiness more easily than we do during the non-tantrum moments. We learn to suppress and not feel our difficult emotions, but unfortunately we can’t selectively numb just the hard feelings. I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers, just noting a mechanism I believe is present.

derac 4y ago
I totally agree with that. People would be well-served to deal with their inner emotional world directly instead of pushing it away. At the same time, they do have a lot of inner tormoil even though they have next to no responsibilities or knowledge. They face the same thing everyone else does, the world changing in the face of their expectations or just not meeting them. There are better examples of the problems uneducated people face and a lot of data to back up their issues with money, relationships, and so on.
hinata08 4y ago
>I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers why not ? you can do that with friends and family. Cry, be happy, get angry,... You're allowed to do everything at home. There are also online places where you can do that with strangers (like Discord) You should be able to do all of that, go directly to the bottom of the problems, get a confirmation that it's not normal, and show others that your world isn't perfect either. Internalizing and learning to cope, despite your expectations, is actually the worst. That's how you neglect yourself (get alienated, according to some ppl), and give a false image that your life is great. Have you seen Kleo, on Netflix ?
biomcgary 4y ago
Dwelling in one's own subjective experience is typically fruitless. However, paying attention to emotion ("attention is all you need") as a detector of mismatches between reality and expectations is quite useful. But, attending to ones emotional state is only useful if you are willing to update your internal state (beliefs, expectations) and actions to reflect reality more closely.

by nadavr 4y ago

derac 4y ago

I totally agree with that. People would be well-served to deal with their inner emotional world directly instead of pushing it away. At the same time, they do have a lot of inner tormoil even though they have next to no responsibilities or knowledge. They face the same thing everyone else does, the world changing in the face of their expectations or just not meeting them. There are better examples of the problems uneducated people face and a lot of data to back up their issues with money, relationships, and so on.

hinata08 4y ago

>I’m not claiming our society should be filled with adult tantrum-throwers why not ? you can do that with friends and family. Cry, be happy, get angry,... You're allowed to do everything at home. There are also online places where you can do that with strangers (like Discord) You should be able to do all of that, go directly to the bottom of the problems, get a confirmation that it's not normal, and show others that your world isn't perfect either. Internalizing and learning to cope, despite your expectations, is actually the worst. That's how you neglect yourself (get alienated, according to some ppl), and give a false image that your life is great. Have you seen Kleo, on Netflix ?

biomcgary 4y ago

Dwelling in one's own subjective experience is typically fruitless. However, paying attention to emotion ("attention is all you need") as a detector of mismatches between reality and expectations is quite useful. But, attending to ones emotional state is only useful if you are willing to update your internal state (beliefs, expectations) and actions to reflect reality more closely.