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When I was in second grade, which per my timeline, was many years before anyone had access to "a computer" outside of a college lab, I recall doing some kind of
by zzzeek 4y ago
When I was in second grade, which per my timeline, was many years before anyone had access to "a computer" outside of a college lab, I recall doing some kind of arts and crafts thing, or fixing a pen, or something, and I channeled a bit of my dad's energy and got very focused on this task. In second grade, it was before they shuttled me off to the gifted and talented program with other "smart kids" so the other kids sort of looked on me as an unusual weirdo, pretty standard stuff, but anyway, this girl that was watching me do whatever it was said, "you look angry", and I realized that channeling my dad's "let's fix this" energy did specifically include some facial contortion that pretty much looked like anger.
nowadays I'm very often a flaming angry coder but that's real anger. It feels the same as when you get angry to press the fire button really fast in a video game, kind of thing. It's been a major issue for decades now as if there are any other people around, I have to really watch my mannerisms and mumblings because there have been negative outcomes from it.
I've also sprinted with other devs who do the same thing. Plus I think it occurs in other fields, like my old drum teacher when I watch him in videos, when he's going for some dramatic drum thing, his face turns to total anger and it is definitely some kind of visceral animal thing you tap into when trying to succeed in a tight space.
- piva00 4y ago> nowadays I'm very often a flaming angry coder but that's real anger. It feels the same as when you get angry to press the fire button really fast in a video game, kind of thing. It's been a major issue for decades now as if there are any other people around, I have to really watch my mannerisms and mumblings because there have been negative outcomes from it. I'm the same, I completely control my mannerisms and usual expletives when coding near people because... It can get fire-y for no reason, I know that it's just work and code but my inner monologue needs to vent out each frustration I find. I learned that it can appear quite toxic for an outsider, they don't live in my head to know that saying "this fucking bullshit shouldn't have been done this way" is not a judgment on anyone's character or technical abilities, I'm very aware that crappy code was done under constraints (skill level, time crunch, so on and so forth) but somehow I do need to be angry about it to push myself around to fix stuff that doesn't seem right. It can look aggressive and whiny at the same time and I definitely want to avoid people having this impression of me because I truly don't care so much, it's just work and I kinda gotta do it this way when alone to keep myself in it.
- InCityDreams 4y ago>Plus I think it occurs in other fields, like my old drum teacher when I watch him in videos, when he's going for some dramatic drum thing, his face turns to total anger and it is definitely some kind of visceral animal thing you tap into when trying to succeed in a tight space. Guitarists facials abound - (and anything you can watch with Steve Vai playing will show even more) - https://youtu.be/CqdL36VKbMQ https://youtu.be/CqdL36VKbMQ