4 ms·

Because any media that shows two males as friends, has legions of people claiming them as gay, i.e. Sam and Frodo, Sherlock and Watson. So in the popular consc

by Khaine 4y ago

Because any media that shows two males as friends, has legions of people claiming them as gay, i.e. Sam and Frodo, Sherlock and Watson. So in the popular conscience two close guys must be gay. You cannot have a relationship in popular culture between two males, without a vocal minority claiming them as gay. Men subconsciously react to that. To signal they are straight avoid looking like they have close relationships with other men.

P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago
As a male, that's never factored into having male friends, are you sure you're not projecting your own insecurities onto others?
- milkytron 4y ago
  Exactly my thoughts. As a straight male, I've never had this issue. Even if someone were to think we were gay, who cares? Maybe we could be, I don't see the issue. Maybe some men have this insecurity, but if they're letting the unknown opinions of strangers prevent them from having meaningful friendships, I think they may need to work that out.
nickthegreek 4y ago
I have never seen this happen. In fact, I only see the opposite, it can be difficult to have a friend of the opposite sex without people thinking you are intimate.
- FooBarBizBazz 4y ago
  > it can be difficult to have a friend of the opposite sex without people thinking you are intimate. Is this really a counterexample? It would seem to me to be another example of the same phenomenon.
  - hgsgm 4y ago
FooBarBizBazz 4y ago
This was the original, nuanced meaning of "homophobia", before it was simplified in the popular mind (where nuance cannot live) to merely mean "hatred of gay people". I think there was an implicit "see, there's something for straight people in this too!" aspect to the argument -- something like, "by eliminating the taboo on homosexuality, we will also eliminate the negative consequences to straight men of heterosexual signaling ". I'm not sure that's panned out though, since if anything it has probably increased the need for that signaling in many circles.
- klipt 4y ago
  Yeah I think it's actually the opposite, in extremely homophobic middle eastern countries it's not uncommon to see close straight male friends holding hands etc, because it would be unthinkable to insinuate they are gay given the social taboo. Meanwhile in the West it is only gay male couples that hold hands, and straight men avoid it to avoid being seen as "gay" which would make women reject them etc.

by Khaine 4y ago

P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago

As a male, that's never factored into having male friends, are you sure you're not projecting your own insecurities onto others?

milkytron 4y ago
Exactly my thoughts. As a straight male, I've never had this issue. Even if someone were to think we were gay, who cares? Maybe we could be, I don't see the issue. Maybe some men have this insecurity, but if they're letting the unknown opinions of strangers prevent them from having meaningful friendships, I think they may need to work that out.

nickthegreek 4y ago

I have never seen this happen. In fact, I only see the opposite, it can be difficult to have a friend of the opposite sex without people thinking you are intimate.

FooBarBizBazz 4y ago
> it can be difficult to have a friend of the opposite sex without people thinking you are intimate. Is this really a counterexample? It would seem to me to be another example of the same phenomenon.
- hgsgm 4y ago

FooBarBizBazz 4y ago

This was the original, nuanced meaning of "homophobia", before it was simplified in the popular mind (where nuance cannot live) to merely mean "hatred of gay people". I think there was an implicit "see, there's something for straight people in this too!" aspect to the argument -- something like, "by eliminating the taboo on homosexuality, we will also eliminate the negative consequences to straight men of heterosexual signaling ". I'm not sure that's panned out though, since if anything it has probably increased the need for that signaling in many circles.

klipt 4y ago
Yeah I think it's actually the opposite, in extremely homophobic middle eastern countries it's not uncommon to see close straight male friends holding hands etc, because it would be unthinkable to insinuate they are gay given the social taboo. Meanwhile in the West it is only gay male couples that hold hands, and straight men avoid it to avoid being seen as "gay" which would make women reject them etc.