3 ms·
Hook up culture is made up of lots of woman and a few men. The women are desperately searching for a relationship. The few men involved with hook up culture ha
by deltaseventhree 4y ago
Hook up culture is made up of lots of woman and a few men.
The women are desperately searching for a relationship. The few men involved with hook up culture have too many options are unwilling to commit due to overwhelming supply.
There are two reasons for why it's like this. The first reason is dating apps. Dating apps make it very easy for women to be even more selective then they already are.
The second reason is technology. The rise of technology including tampons and birth control has allowed women to fight for additional rights and come onto equal standing with men. For most of human history women depended on men for financial well being and survival in general. This is no longer the case.
Thus when being in a LT relationship isn't a survival requirement, women upgrade their selectivity.
The experience for the majority of men really just ends up being a lack of matches. The experience for women is a lack of men willing to commit. And for a few men (you most likely) hooking up is just "comfortable."
I'm not making this up. There is very real data about this.
- FeistySkink 4y agoPerhaps you can share the data?
- deltaseventhree 4y agohttps://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g... https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueAskReddit/comments/whpxuw/dating_app_statistics_show_than_women_are/ https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueAskReddit/comments/whpxuw/datin... This study had an unrelated purpose but nevertheless extracted the same data. https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/the-math-behind-dating-apps-women-like-only-4-out-of-100-profiles-men-more-likely-to-swipe-right/articleshow/75736043.cms?from=mdr https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/the-m... Everything I'm saying is common knowledge if you are an average (key word) man on dating apps OR if you're well versed in academic anthropology or evolutionary psychology (NOT gender studies). As an average male, we live this life anecdotally. The imbalance of power in the dating market invades every facet of what we feel and see. It is part of our logical reality. If you are not an average single man, it is very likely this reality is completely foreign to you; and when presented with this new angle you will likely not accept it. Our culture paints a picture of inequality. The equation speaks to one side of of the story. The story of female empowerment; The rise of of the underdog. The other side of the equation, the male side, is invisible, especially if you are not a male. The evidence extends beyond dating app statistics (which all categorically point to the same conclusion) to biology and anthropology: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dna-human-gene-pool https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dn... The genetic diversity of female genes is greater than male genes. https://slate.com/technology/2012/10/are-humans-monogamous-or-polygamous-the-evolution-of-human-mating-strategies.html https://slate.com/technology/2012/10/are-humans-monogamous-o... In anthropology Monogamy is considered to be a mating strategy that guarantee a single mate for all men. It is advantageous to men and in many societies it is artificially enforced. Polygamy is more advantageous to females and the likely natural outcome when females are more empowered in society. It guarantees the best mate for females. Of course women would prefer to be in a monogamous relationship with an alpha male. But given the choice between monogamy with a beta male or polygamy with an alpha they choose the later. More on that here: https://www.vice.com/en/article/a38dwj/monogamy-may-be-even-more-difficult-for-women-than-it-is-for-men https://www.vice.com/en/article/a38dwj/monogamy-may-be-even-... Given anthropological studies of human culture and genetic studies of female genetic diversity, the conclusion is inescapable: Hookup culture is the natural outcome of human behavior. Dating apps only magnify this behavior and allow us to collect data on it.
- leobg 4y agoYou forget that this cuts both ways. Men, too, no longer need a wife. No need to cook. No need to mend clothes. No need for heirs. So little patience for compromise. And focus on superficialities and short term benefits rather than team building.
- deltaseventhree 4y agomen never needed this. The things you describe are luxuries that a man can do without. Men would like to have this but this is not something needed. In the past women, NEEDED men to survive. For women it was a choice about survival. It was always men who went out to hunt for food, farm for food, make the money and build the house. All the technology, all the machinery, all the science you see around you today, most of it was built, designed and envisioned by men. In general human civilization and societies functioned in a way where men and women worked together but make no doubt about it. For the majority of human history (99%) men did built and maintained the infrastructure for survival. Men worked in partnership with women for betterment and higher productivity; women however worked with men because they needed to survive. A woman without a man in the past had few options to support herself. This is no longer the case, so we'll see how it plays out, but modern society is at odds with the biology millions of years of evolution has designed us for. Likely there will be a culling. A natural selection process where a huge portion of the genetic pool will fail to reproduce. To be frank I think a lot of men will just end up being lonely and single until they're dead. Polygamy will become more and more normalized and women will have a lot more power over society and societal norms in general.
- leobg 4y agoI don’t think that women in general give up on a relationship any faster or easier than men do. In fact, I would probably say that it’s men who give up first when things get tough. (It’s only that women notice problems sooner, while men often are still in denial and think all is fine.) Saying that technology is the reason why relationships no longer work sounds like a big fat excuse to me. The facts are certainly true. But the conclusion is, in my opinion, a convenient tale to avoid responsibility.