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// Most romantic or working relationships have a "power dynamic," where one party has some kind of leverage over the other, This is a very weird way to think a

// Most romantic or working relationships have a "power dynamic," where one party has some kind of leverage over the other, This is a very weird way to think about it. Something I realized after I got married and bought a house and had kids, is that I love it and none of it would be possible without my wife. Likewise, she couldn't have any of this without me. We are partners. If we wanted to look for power imbalances, we could find them. Like, we could obsess over who makes more money, or does more child care, or who had a greater impact on our selection of where we live etc, but that would be a very weird thing to put front and center. Much more importantly is that both of us are willing to put a lot into the relationship and consistently get even more out of it, enabling us to lead deeply meaningful lives together.

ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago
> This is a very weird way to think about it. Got it in one. I’m pretty weird. I assume that my friends, acquaintances, and others, are also weird, as I read about that, in some book (can’t remember which one). It was one of those “Things that make you go ‘hmmm…’.” things. But if it makes you feel better to call me “weird,” knock yourself out.
- xyzelement 4y ago
  I didn't mean that you are weird (though sounds like you are and that's great, me too) More like - well, as I wrote in the comment - I found that perspective on relationships to be kinda missing the point for reasons I described.
  - bittercynic 4y ago
    Maybe I'm just weird in the same way as GP on this, but I think power imbalances are important to be aware of in friendships, and it's tricky to be friends with someone who's far above or below in a hierarchy that is a very important part of your life.
    - xyzelement 4y ago
      I agree with that. I don't agree with GP's assertion that "most" relationships suffer from this.
      - ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago
        Fair point. It was an overgeneralization, on my part.

ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago

> This is a very weird way to think about it. Got it in one. I’m pretty weird. I assume that my friends, acquaintances, and others, are also weird, as I read about that, in some book (can’t remember which one). It was one of those “Things that make you go ‘hmmm…’.” things. But if it makes you feel better to call me “weird,” knock yourself out.

xyzelement 4y ago
I didn't mean that you are weird (though sounds like you are and that's great, me too) More like - well, as I wrote in the comment - I found that perspective on relationships to be kinda missing the point for reasons I described.
- bittercynic 4y ago
  Maybe I'm just weird in the same way as GP on this, but I think power imbalances are important to be aware of in friendships, and it's tricky to be friends with someone who's far above or below in a hierarchy that is a very important part of your life.
  - xyzelement 4y ago
    I agree with that. I don't agree with GP's assertion that "most" relationships suffer from this.
    - ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago
      Fair point. It was an overgeneralization, on my part.