3 ms·
I've found that heated verbal arguments almost always end with me looking like the asshole. It's the parable about wrestling a pig in mud, you both look nasty
by msrenee 4y ago
I've found that heated verbal arguments almost always end with me looking like the asshole. It's the parable about wrestling a pig in mud, you both look nasty and the pig enjoys itself.
Instead, I try to calmly answer in as few words as possible using kind, non-committal language. Folks have figured out that when I'm not cussing anymore is when I'm pissed.
Also using lots of "I feel" phrases instead of "you are". "I feel like this is something we should talk about in private" rather than "You know this isn't the appropriate time for this discussion.".
- shapefrog 4y ago"I feel" You lose instantly, feelings are not facts - but often getting drawn into heated exchanges there is an asymetry of information (or asymetry of honesty) that makes actual balanced conversation impossible. The only winning move is not to play.
- zach_garwood 4y ago"I feel..." IS a fact, and it can't be refuted by the other person.
- msrenee 4y agoExactly. You don't win against an asshole by arguing. You win by either getting them to understand where you're coming from or by letting them show their true colors while maintaining the moral high ground.