Being independent is the opposite of selfish. Seeking a mate and raising children used to be considered a duty to society, where, as a side-effect, and not the

Being independent is the opposite of selfish. Seeking a mate and raising children used to be considered a duty to society, where, as a side-effect, and not the main intent, you got assistance in old age, and provided assistance to your children in raising theirs. You're right that seeking the side-effect is wrong-headed and selfish.