4 ms·
We're also perpetuating values like fierce independence. This has an effect as everyone is focused on me-me-me rather than finding a mate. To this style of rhet
by aliqot 4y ago
We're also perpetuating values like fierce independence. This has an effect as everyone is focused on me-me-me rather than finding a mate. To this style of rhetoric, finding a mate is succumbing to the status quo, and surrendering to common relationship ideals.
- thechao 4y agoIsn't this a self-correcting phenomenon in the long-run?
- falcolas 4y agoSeeking a mate or procreation with the goal of having someone to help you in old age is just as, no, more selfish than being independent.
- worthless-trash 4y agoRarely are goals so one dimensional, there are costs in having and raising children, the benefit of company and family flows both ways.
- slowmovintarget 4y agoBeing independent is the opposite of selfish. Seeking a mate and raising children used to be considered a duty to society, where, as a side-effect, and not the main intent, you got assistance in old age, and provided assistance to your children in raising theirs. You're right that seeking the side-effect is wrong-headed and selfish.
- snoot 4y ago> We're also perpetuating values like fierce independence. I keep seeing this said, but I don’t see it. What are the examples?
- tsol 4y agoWell for one, I think it's the first time that "It's better to die alone than to settle for someone who isn't ideal' is commonly agreed with. People feel they shouldn't waste their time, they will only sacrifice for a relationship with someone amazing. There was once a time this was seen as selfish. It still is in a lot of places, in fact.
- snoot 4y agoInteresting. I’ve never heard anyone say anything like that, let alone agree it. That said, it’s unclear why either view would be seen as ‘selfish’.
- worthless-trash 4y agoSelfish: lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. It could be construed that you waste your possible partners time along the way, till you find the imperfection that ends your relationship.
- snoot 4y agoConstruing it that way is just flawed logic. It presupposes that a person goes into a relationship looking for such an imperfection. This is the fallacy of affirming the consequent.
- worthless-trash 4y agoNo, you have flawed logic ;) you're expecting logic from people.. ? If you into a relationship expecting perfection, you will always be sadly mistaken as people are imperfect. Entering the relationship contract this way is "bad faith" but not unheard of. I'm glad that you've never had to deal with it, but in reality it happens.
- signatoremo 4y agoI never heard about this sentiment being commonly agreed. What make you come to that conclusion?
- slowmovintarget 4y agoThe last two decades have aimed at perpetuating dependence and collectivism, not independence. Part of that is emphasis on feelings, feeling good, aiming for self-fulfillment, claiming one's entitlements, and resenting achievements of others. Destruction of the nuclear family is one of the intents. The side-effect is people being old and alone. Being married, becoming a "breeder" is offensive and oppressive (again, collectivist rhetoric, not the rhetoric of independence), because it "perpetuates the patriarchy" or "it continues systemic racism" or "advances white European values and disenfranchises minorities." You'll find all of this out there, and not a lick of it is advocating independence. Quite the opposite.