4 ms·

Pretty sure I lost my last startup due to my former co-founder having NPD. How did I cope? I had to walk away and lose everything I had at that time, deal with

by jarym 4y ago

Pretty sure I lost my last startup due to my former co-founder having NPD. How did I cope? I had to walk away and lose everything I had at that time, deal with huge legal bills, and then watch him twiddle his thumbs while the startup folded. It also put an intense pressure on my marriage which ultimately also broke down. Was a dreadful experience that I would never wish on anyone else and I am pretty certain I'll never trust anyone to co-found another startup with in the future. Edit to add: advice for anyone in business with someone they suspect of NPD: tidy everything up, get legal advice, get away as quietly as possible, don't look back.

texasbigdata 4y ago
You basically explained a corporate, non-family, version of the grey rock technique. Nice! Source for the curious, many more online and on YouTube (including often helpful role play videos, strongly recommend for practical purposes): https://www.talkspace.com/blog/grey-rock-method/ https://www.talkspace.com/blog/grey-rock-method/
- deebosong 4y ago
  Someone else posted a link from outofthefog, but I came across pretty much the same set of principles as "grey rocking" but outofthefog called it "medium chill." It took about... 5 years? Maybe more? For me to learn to use the principles well, whatever you wanna call them. These issues go core-level deep! But yeah, grey-rocking & medium chill are effective strategies to create & maintain the necessary distance to endure the onslaught from covert/ full-blown/ any and all narcissists. Granted, we all got bits and pieces of that dark side in us somewhere, and all of us will have to learn to address it sometime and to whatever extent it impacts us.
  - robocat 4y ago
    https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-chill https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-ch...
- leeroyjenkins11 4y ago
  Delete the gym, hit the lawyer, facebook up.
jennasys 4y ago
Same thing happened to me. I got to a point where I had to conclude that the issues with the CEO was not something I could fix and I had to walk away knowing that I'd likely lose everything I had invested in the company. And I eventually did. And like you, the trust issues linger on. Your edit is spot on - narcissism alone in a CEO is common and manageable, but if they have NPD, get out NOW.

by jarym 4y ago

texasbigdata 4y ago

You basically explained a corporate, non-family, version of the grey rock technique. Nice! Source for the curious, many more online and on YouTube (including often helpful role play videos, strongly recommend for practical purposes): https://www.talkspace.com/blog/grey-rock-method/ https://www.talkspace.com/blog/grey-rock-method/

deebosong 4y ago
Someone else posted a link from outofthefog, but I came across pretty much the same set of principles as "grey rocking" but outofthefog called it "medium chill." It took about... 5 years? Maybe more? For me to learn to use the principles well, whatever you wanna call them. These issues go core-level deep! But yeah, grey-rocking & medium chill are effective strategies to create & maintain the necessary distance to endure the onslaught from covert/ full-blown/ any and all narcissists. Granted, we all got bits and pieces of that dark side in us somewhere, and all of us will have to learn to address it sometime and to whatever extent it impacts us.
- robocat 4y ago
  https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-chill https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-ch...
leeroyjenkins11 4y ago
Delete the gym, hit the lawyer, facebook up.

jennasys 4y ago

Same thing happened to me. I got to a point where I had to conclude that the issues with the CEO was not something I could fix and I had to walk away knowing that I'd likely lose everything I had invested in the company. And I eventually did. And like you, the trust issues linger on. Your edit is spot on - narcissism alone in a CEO is common and manageable, but if they have NPD, get out NOW.