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I've been daydreaming about suicide every day for years now. Good thing I created a throwaway account so that the background check investigators for my high-st

I've been daydreaming about suicide every day for years now. Good thing I created a throwaway account so that the background check investigators for my high-stakes job won't be able to link this sentiment to my real identity. After all, I am responsible for a lot of people.

throwaway3601 4y ago
The survival rate of life is already 0%. There’s no need to try and lower the odds. The question is more around timing. The traditional ways to leave all suck. Does this sentiment make a person better or worse at their job? I’ve heard it’s impossible for a human mind to imagine its own death. Someone with the raw creativity or intelligence to do that might be more helpful than not?
er1t0 4y ago
You’ve got a place here on Earth for a reason.
- throwaway3600 4y ago
  Thanks! I constantly wonder, however, if my true purpose is to be a failure. Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way."
  - __pache__ 4y ago
    Have felt similar. I had money and the woman and the house and blah blah, so what? Kind of discovered being a father and somewhat of a leader is my purpose, plenty of people below you that you can help if you're even a mediocre software engineer. I really stopped thinking about myself. This video resonated with me years ago, may resonate with you now if you haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0
    - donclark 4y ago
      ^^^THIS!^^^ Thank you for sharing this. Incredible bluntness explanation of our reality - and ourselves.
  - nyokodo 4y ago
    > Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way." There are plenty of them already. The shortage God has are the people who look at where they are, maybe not the best place, and look for the steps to climb out. They’re sometimes hidden but they’re always there, sometimes in plain sight.
ryzvonusef 4y ago
OP, as some one in the same shoes as you, I will not tell you that life will be rosy if only you waited a little longer; for I cannot predict the future. but may I offer a way forward? How about living out of spite, to outlive all your enemies and detractors, all the idiots who get to breathe air for free? it's not a happy thought, but it may provide for you to live longer, and who knows, life indeed might be rosy, and if not, at-least you didn't give any quarter to the dumbos, you will have fought the good fight.
RadixDLT 4y ago
call in a request with Stefan and talk it out.. https://freedomain.com/ https://freedomain.com/
yucky 4y ago
Think about something awful in the world. Something that you can see is a huge negative on humanity. Now set about destroying that thing, it might give you added purpose.

throwaway3601 4y ago

The survival rate of life is already 0%. There’s no need to try and lower the odds. The question is more around timing. The traditional ways to leave all suck. Does this sentiment make a person better or worse at their job? I’ve heard it’s impossible for a human mind to imagine its own death. Someone with the raw creativity or intelligence to do that might be more helpful than not?

er1t0 4y ago

You’ve got a place here on Earth for a reason.

throwaway3600 4y ago
Thanks! I constantly wonder, however, if my true purpose is to be a failure. Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way."
- __pache__ 4y ago
  Have felt similar. I had money and the woman and the house and blah blah, so what? Kind of discovered being a father and somewhat of a leader is my purpose, plenty of people below you that you can help if you're even a mediocre software engineer. I really stopped thinking about myself. This video resonated with me years ago, may resonate with you now if you haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLvd_ZbX1w0
  - donclark 4y ago
    ^^^THIS!^^^ Thank you for sharing this. Incredible bluntness explanation of our reality - and ourselves.
- nyokodo 4y ago
  > Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way." There are plenty of them already. The shortage God has are the people who look at where they are, maybe not the best place, and look for the steps to climb out. They’re sometimes hidden but they’re always there, sometimes in plain sight.

ryzvonusef 4y ago

OP, as some one in the same shoes as you, I will not tell you that life will be rosy if only you waited a little longer; for I cannot predict the future. but may I offer a way forward? How about living out of spite, to outlive all your enemies and detractors, all the idiots who get to breathe air for free? it's not a happy thought, but it may provide for you to live longer, and who knows, life indeed might be rosy, and if not, at-least you didn't give any quarter to the dumbos, you will have fought the good fight.

RadixDLT 4y ago

call in a request with Stefan and talk it out.. https://freedomain.com/ https://freedomain.com/

yucky 4y ago

Think about something awful in the world. Something that you can see is a huge negative on humanity. Now set about destroying that thing, it might give you added purpose.