4 ms·

the article doesn't seem attribute the desire to be alone to anything, other than saying that it got a lot more common during the pandemic, but I can say why I

the article doesn't seem attribute the desire to be alone to anything, other than saying that it got a lot more common during the pandemic, but I can say why I prefer to be alone: no judgement, no one makes fun of me, no one takes advantage of me, and no one steals from me. the one and only bad thing for me is that being lonely sucks. I am not lonely, but I probably will be in a decade's time. being alone adds up over time. there is no such thing as a "friend." there are only people who will pretend to be a partner or friend in order to make it easier for them to steal from you unnoticed. people are a toxin and a terrible species of creature.

mym1990 4y ago
Why do you anticipate you will be lonely in a decade's time(but not currently)? And do you think you are a toxin based on your observation of the general species?
- naikrovek 4y ago
  unfortunately, humans are a social species and the toll of being alone adds up over time. I try to avoid people so that I don't darken their day and they don't darken mine. I consider staying away from others a very small gift to them. people are mean, selfish assholes and are by default competitive and adversarial, by nature. we are a doomed species, and are unworthy of existence, in my opinion.
  - tarboreus 4y ago
    Sounds like you're in a dark place. I hope things improve.
  - mym1990 4y ago
    Thanks for sharing, human history is indeed littered with brutal events and these things build further hate for future generations, if they choose not to let go of the past. Despite that, the world and the universe has almost unlimited beauty, but it is ultimately up to an individual person to find and see it.
  - germinalphrase 4y ago
    When I was walking under a cloud, it really helped year-to-year to pay someone to listen and talk through my thoughts and feelings.
    - naikrovek 4y ago
      I'm not under a cloud. I have paid for therapy for 20 years. the world is filled to the top with people who lie, cheat, and steal, because those things are easier than working, waiting, and being nice. the earth is a hellscape full of people waiting to feed on everything you have.
      - germinalphrase 4y ago
        Ah, I see. Well, I hope you find peace and pleasure in your solitude.
      - deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
  - mensetmanusman 4y ago
    When in doubt, read some Tolstoy: https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Twenty-three_Tales/Two_Old_Men https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Twenty-three_Tales/Two_Old_...
  - throwawaydad12 4y ago
    This is pretty relatable. Not sure I'd say "unworthy", as that's hard to measure. Instead, I'd just say that consciousness seems to lead directly and inevitably to misery. And following Qohelet from thousands of years ago, those who are no longer conscious, or never were, are the best off. We'll all be dead quite soon. In the meantime, I enjoy going out into nature a bit (waterfalls are great), and more reliably, having a pet. I think this is the best that this world has to offer. Godspeed.
zoklet-enjoyer 4y ago
That is not a good world view. I imagine you've been through a lot to get to the point where you feel like that. Have you tried finding a friend group that has a mutual hobby to bond over?
- naikrovek 4y ago
  it is an accurate world view, in my experience. friends and partners are in no way worth it. I lose every time and the pain is too much. how everyone does it is unknown to me. life isn't just hell, it's torture. noting gained and constant emotional pain.
  - clownworldclown 4y ago
    they do it through a lot of medication and anesthetics and sedatives that get them through the day
    - TeMPOraL 4y ago
      Not sure if you mean it seriously or not. Not even sure to what degree this is accurate, but definitely to some, because coffee is probably[0] most common form of self-medication on the planet, followed by cigarettes, and then alcohol and weed are two well-known anesthetics and sedatives. It's somewhat common view that coffee is the one legal performance drug almost everyone uses to keep up with their job demands, but it's less recognized that it can - and likely is - used to cope with other people. Alcohol is definitely used for the latter. ---- [0] - Feels obviously true, by a far margin, but the world is big and I haven't exactly done a study.
  - implements 4y ago
    It sounds, and I say this in genuine concern, that you may benefit from getting professional help with your mood and perceptions. [Depression lies to you] “Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can have a resounding impact on how we view the world and how we think the world views us.”
  - dumpsterlid 4y ago
vasco 4y ago
Hell is other people, heh? You're being downvoted for what I think is an obvious reason, but seeing as your comment says what it does, maybe you are not aware. You cannot love without risking a heartbreak, and you cannot experience friendship without risking a betrayal or a slow drift apart. But a friendship or a love do not have to be defined by the fact that they end, or how they end, and instead appreciated by the good moments they provide you. Your life will also end, and it is not a waste because of that, it is still worth living, so I'd encourage you to be more trustworthy and enjoy the ride a bit more.
nullish_signal 4y ago
If you always have problems with other people, other people aren't the problem
- naikrovek 4y ago
  this is exactly the response I expected, and it has been delivered right on time. you have proven my point: humans are assholes, and see whatever they need to see to justify how they treat others. you have taken 0.5 seconds of time to believe that you have figured out my problem, in it's entirety, and then made that statement in order to feel superior to me by telling me that it's my fault. do you really, really think that this has not occurred to me? that I have not taken steps for years to address it? I have. for 20 years I have paid for professional help, and nothing in this situation has changed except me. for some reason, you felt compelled to tell me that you fully understand the situation that I am living in and that I do not understand the situation I am living in. you are a perfect illustration of the problem I am describing. thanks, I guess. I expected exactly this and you gladly provided it.
  - kiawe_fire 4y ago
    Funny, when discussing many situations such as poverty, career opportunities, or physical health issues, negative experiences leading to a pessimistic outlook is usually accepted, and met with acknowledgement of inequalities or systemic issues. Suggesting otherwise is sometimes even taboo. But attempt to share the same kind of experience-informed outlook on friendship and sociality, and the same empathy is rare. This outlook seems to deeply bother people who presumably have had positive experiences. The means of reconciling this bothersome viewpoint seems to be either insistence on a supposed “friendship meritocracy” (just do these things and have a happy attitude and you’ll find friends!) or by skipping straight to vitriol. The response is fascinating in its own right, really.
  - A4ET8a8uTh0 4y ago
    In parent's defense, you are posting on a public forum introducing a position that is likely to create some level of pushback. Note that you use categorical language like: << there is no such thing as a "friend." which could draw an uncharitable take. I can't say I completely disagree, but there are literally billions humans on this earth. I would like to think at least one token good human exists?
sethammons 4y ago
> there is no such thing as a "friend." there are only people who will pretend to be a partner or friend in order to make it easier for them to steal from you unnoticed Um. No. A thousand times, "no." Yes, there are people that will steal from you and there are people who will pretend to be your friend. Friends totally exist. We recently moved and our old neighbors and friends are taking care of the yard for us while it sells. For no other reason than to help. When we arrived to the new house, a new neighbor came over to help unload the truck just to help out. We've been here months and aside from casual greetings, that has been the extent to our relationship -- not a friend (yet!) and still not having other motivations. I help people when and where I can whenever. I once had an oncoming car flip and nearly collide with me. I stopped, helped them out, and waited for the tow truck and gave them a ride home, just because they needed some help. I never saw them again. I'm sorry that your experiences have jaded your view. Know that your experiences are not universal. Maybe you need a new environment.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- proc0 4y ago
  I don't think you're describing friends there, that's more like being a good human being. Friends demand a certain kind of loyalty, an involvement with their personal lives, and personal beliefs. Friends seem to slowly pull you in as one of their family members, and that is a big commitment. If it works out then you have a good friend, but more often than not people are raised differently and slowly drift away. I'm only describing good friends here. There are also bad friends who have only their own interests in mind, often consciously manipulative. Good friends are a privilege. It requires time, effort, and resources, which directly correlate to the kind of friends you will have. Many people cannot afford good friendships, especially if you grow up in a broken household. So it's not so much that friends are a solution to a problem, but rather it's a reward for being successful.
- naikrovek 4y ago
  > We recently moved and our old neighbors and friends are taking care of the yard for us while it sells. For no other reason than to help. When we arrived to the new house, a new neighbor came over to help unload the truck just to help out. when people help me move they have always gone through my boxes before lifting them up. multiple things go missing every time I enlist help moving. once a neighbor asked to watch the house while I was gone for two weeks. sure, thanks! I came back to a destroyed house and people showing up late at night for weeks asking "is this the party house". my neighbor moved out while I was away for that two weeks and gave the keys to someone else, and told them to "go nuts", I was later informed. anyone with a list of positive experiences with other people is ... well they're not on the planet that I'm on.
Zababa 4y ago
I wouldn't go as far as to say that all people are a toxin, but a lot are, that's for sure.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

mym1990 4y ago

Why do you anticipate you will be lonely in a decade's time(but not currently)? And do you think you are a toxin based on your observation of the general species?

naikrovek 4y ago
unfortunately, humans are a social species and the toll of being alone adds up over time. I try to avoid people so that I don't darken their day and they don't darken mine. I consider staying away from others a very small gift to them. people are mean, selfish assholes and are by default competitive and adversarial, by nature. we are a doomed species, and are unworthy of existence, in my opinion.
- tarboreus 4y ago
  Sounds like you're in a dark place. I hope things improve.
- mym1990 4y ago
  Thanks for sharing, human history is indeed littered with brutal events and these things build further hate for future generations, if they choose not to let go of the past. Despite that, the world and the universe has almost unlimited beauty, but it is ultimately up to an individual person to find and see it.
- germinalphrase 4y ago
  When I was walking under a cloud, it really helped year-to-year to pay someone to listen and talk through my thoughts and feelings.
  - naikrovek 4y ago
    I'm not under a cloud. I have paid for therapy for 20 years. the world is filled to the top with people who lie, cheat, and steal, because those things are easier than working, waiting, and being nice. the earth is a hellscape full of people waiting to feed on everything you have.
    - germinalphrase 4y ago
      Ah, I see. Well, I hope you find peace and pleasure in your solitude.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
- mensetmanusman 4y ago
  When in doubt, read some Tolstoy: https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Twenty-three_Tales/Two_Old_Men https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Twenty-three_Tales/Two_Old_...
- throwawaydad12 4y ago
  This is pretty relatable. Not sure I'd say "unworthy", as that's hard to measure. Instead, I'd just say that consciousness seems to lead directly and inevitably to misery. And following Qohelet from thousands of years ago, those who are no longer conscious, or never were, are the best off. We'll all be dead quite soon. In the meantime, I enjoy going out into nature a bit (waterfalls are great), and more reliably, having a pet. I think this is the best that this world has to offer. Godspeed.

zoklet-enjoyer 4y ago

That is not a good world view. I imagine you've been through a lot to get to the point where you feel like that. Have you tried finding a friend group that has a mutual hobby to bond over?

naikrovek 4y ago
it is an accurate world view, in my experience. friends and partners are in no way worth it. I lose every time and the pain is too much. how everyone does it is unknown to me. life isn't just hell, it's torture. noting gained and constant emotional pain.
- clownworldclown 4y ago
  they do it through a lot of medication and anesthetics and sedatives that get them through the day
  - TeMPOraL 4y ago
    Not sure if you mean it seriously or not. Not even sure to what degree this is accurate, but definitely to some, because coffee is probably[0] most common form of self-medication on the planet, followed by cigarettes, and then alcohol and weed are two well-known anesthetics and sedatives. It's somewhat common view that coffee is the one legal performance drug almost everyone uses to keep up with their job demands, but it's less recognized that it can - and likely is - used to cope with other people. Alcohol is definitely used for the latter. ---- [0] - Feels obviously true, by a far margin, but the world is big and I haven't exactly done a study.
- implements 4y ago
  It sounds, and I say this in genuine concern, that you may benefit from getting professional help with your mood and perceptions. [Depression lies to you] “Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can have a resounding impact on how we view the world and how we think the world views us.”
- dumpsterlid 4y ago

vasco 4y ago

Hell is other people, heh? You're being downvoted for what I think is an obvious reason, but seeing as your comment says what it does, maybe you are not aware. You cannot love without risking a heartbreak, and you cannot experience friendship without risking a betrayal or a slow drift apart. But a friendship or a love do not have to be defined by the fact that they end, or how they end, and instead appreciated by the good moments they provide you. Your life will also end, and it is not a waste because of that, it is still worth living, so I'd encourage you to be more trustworthy and enjoy the ride a bit more.

nullish_signal 4y ago

If you always have problems with other people, other people aren't the problem

naikrovek 4y ago
this is exactly the response I expected, and it has been delivered right on time. you have proven my point: humans are assholes, and see whatever they need to see to justify how they treat others. you have taken 0.5 seconds of time to believe that you have figured out my problem, in it's entirety, and then made that statement in order to feel superior to me by telling me that it's my fault. do you really, really think that this has not occurred to me? that I have not taken steps for years to address it? I have. for 20 years I have paid for professional help, and nothing in this situation has changed except me. for some reason, you felt compelled to tell me that you fully understand the situation that I am living in and that I do not understand the situation I am living in. you are a perfect illustration of the problem I am describing. thanks, I guess. I expected exactly this and you gladly provided it.
- kiawe_fire 4y ago
  Funny, when discussing many situations such as poverty, career opportunities, or physical health issues, negative experiences leading to a pessimistic outlook is usually accepted, and met with acknowledgement of inequalities or systemic issues. Suggesting otherwise is sometimes even taboo. But attempt to share the same kind of experience-informed outlook on friendship and sociality, and the same empathy is rare. This outlook seems to deeply bother people who presumably have had positive experiences. The means of reconciling this bothersome viewpoint seems to be either insistence on a supposed “friendship meritocracy” (just do these things and have a happy attitude and you’ll find friends!) or by skipping straight to vitriol. The response is fascinating in its own right, really.
- A4ET8a8uTh0 4y ago
  In parent's defense, you are posting on a public forum introducing a position that is likely to create some level of pushback. Note that you use categorical language like: << there is no such thing as a "friend." which could draw an uncharitable take. I can't say I completely disagree, but there are literally billions humans on this earth. I would like to think at least one token good human exists?

sethammons 4y ago

> there is no such thing as a "friend." there are only people who will pretend to be a partner or friend in order to make it easier for them to steal from you unnoticed Um. No. A thousand times, "no." Yes, there are people that will steal from you and there are people who will pretend to be your friend. Friends totally exist. We recently moved and our old neighbors and friends are taking care of the yard for us while it sells. For no other reason than to help. When we arrived to the new house, a new neighbor came over to help unload the truck just to help out. We've been here months and aside from casual greetings, that has been the extent to our relationship -- not a friend (yet!) and still not having other motivations. I help people when and where I can whenever. I once had an oncoming car flip and nearly collide with me. I stopped, helped them out, and waited for the tow truck and gave them a ride home, just because they needed some help. I never saw them again. I'm sorry that your experiences have jaded your view. Know that your experiences are not universal. Maybe you need a new environment.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
proc0 4y ago
I don't think you're describing friends there, that's more like being a good human being. Friends demand a certain kind of loyalty, an involvement with their personal lives, and personal beliefs. Friends seem to slowly pull you in as one of their family members, and that is a big commitment. If it works out then you have a good friend, but more often than not people are raised differently and slowly drift away. I'm only describing good friends here. There are also bad friends who have only their own interests in mind, often consciously manipulative. Good friends are a privilege. It requires time, effort, and resources, which directly correlate to the kind of friends you will have. Many people cannot afford good friendships, especially if you grow up in a broken household. So it's not so much that friends are a solution to a problem, but rather it's a reward for being successful.
naikrovek 4y ago
> We recently moved and our old neighbors and friends are taking care of the yard for us while it sells. For no other reason than to help. When we arrived to the new house, a new neighbor came over to help unload the truck just to help out. when people help me move they have always gone through my boxes before lifting them up. multiple things go missing every time I enlist help moving. once a neighbor asked to watch the house while I was gone for two weeks. sure, thanks! I came back to a destroyed house and people showing up late at night for weeks asking "is this the party house". my neighbor moved out while I was away for that two weeks and gave the keys to someone else, and told them to "go nuts", I was later informed. anyone with a list of positive experiences with other people is ... well they're not on the planet that I'm on.

Zababa 4y ago

I wouldn't go as far as to say that all people are a toxin, but a lot are, that's for sure.

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]