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I understand this entirely. I usually stay around 3 to 3 1/2 years. Not the worst tenure but not the best. I now prioritize positive feelings, emotions and en

I understand this entirely. I usually stay around 3 to 3 1/2 years. Not the worst tenure but not the best. I now prioritize positive feelings, emotions and energy above all. My goal in all meetings and all interactions is to keep positive emotions high. What took me a long time to learn as an analytical and technical minded person is that there is a way to be optimistic and positive without being fake or insincere. I have learned to try to set a positive tone first thing on every call by saying something optimistic and positive. I also now motivate, encourage and bump people up (often, in a semi joking way). I spent my career running over people in my way like a freight train. Now i emphasize on making sure the atmosphere is right. When I was an engineer I felt that logic was the only thing that mattered. In fact( my experience, is that logical discussions and arguments are actually energy draining and viewed as negative by most people. You could be completely correct on some point, on anything, but if the temperature of the conversation is not jovial or convivial it will be perceived as negativity and that association will stick to you. Look how Bill Clinton and Warren Buffet enter most conversations. They always keep things light. If you are a dry, logical, analytical robot - People will find a way to hate you eventually.

terminal_d 4y ago
What most people don't get is that Michael Scott was a Genius.
drBonkers 4y ago
How did you learn what to say to start calls and meetings with a positive tone without coming off as if you weren’t taking things seriously enough?
- theGnuMe 4y ago
  Always start off with a joke.
- saulpw 4y ago
  I spend 5 minutes at the start of calls asking how people are doing, getting a read on their emotional state. As the saying goes, everyone is coming from somewhere else and going to somewhere else and is only here with you for a few moments between the two. So I like to try to find what they've been up to 1) since we last chatted, 2) recently, and 3) immediately before our current meeting. And you can ask about their plans for tonight or this weekend (though usually that makes more sense at the end of the call). It's nice to share these things, it builds connections between people, you and/or they may be more empathetic for when things are going slower than you'd like, and to the OP comment, it starts the meeting with a non-negative tone. Even if they say negative things, you can listen and empathize, and it can become a positive thing for you both. Sometimes people say "I don't want to talk about it" and then you can demonstrate lightness by saying "that's okay, [I understand]" and waiting a beat--sometimes they start talking about it anyway. I also make sure to have a couple of small things I could share if they reflect the question back to me, or if it doesn't seem like they want to talk. These are little things from my immediate life--the lunch I just had with a friend, or interesting thing I saw on my walk, or something I'm excited about, or an idle question I've been pondering.

terminal_d 4y ago

What most people don't get is that Michael Scott was a Genius.

drBonkers 4y ago

How did you learn what to say to start calls and meetings with a positive tone without coming off as if you weren’t taking things seriously enough?

theGnuMe 4y ago
Always start off with a joke.
saulpw 4y ago
I spend 5 minutes at the start of calls asking how people are doing, getting a read on their emotional state. As the saying goes, everyone is coming from somewhere else and going to somewhere else and is only here with you for a few moments between the two. So I like to try to find what they've been up to 1) since we last chatted, 2) recently, and 3) immediately before our current meeting. And you can ask about their plans for tonight or this weekend (though usually that makes more sense at the end of the call). It's nice to share these things, it builds connections between people, you and/or they may be more empathetic for when things are going slower than you'd like, and to the OP comment, it starts the meeting with a non-negative tone. Even if they say negative things, you can listen and empathize, and it can become a positive thing for you both. Sometimes people say "I don't want to talk about it" and then you can demonstrate lightness by saying "that's okay, [I understand]" and waiting a beat--sometimes they start talking about it anyway. I also make sure to have a couple of small things I could share if they reflect the question back to me, or if it doesn't seem like they want to talk. These are little things from my immediate life--the lunch I just had with a friend, or interesting thing I saw on my walk, or something I'm excited about, or an idle question I've been pondering.