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Sounds like you may need to improve your social skills. Good employer should understand than nobody is amazing at everything, but such is the world today that m

by comboy 4y ago

Sounds like you may need to improve your social skills. Good employer should understand than nobody is amazing at everything, but such is the world today that marketing wins everywhere (on personal level too). Or you think you are better than you are, not possible to tell from the post (but I'd say unlikely given some introspection that went into making it).

kodyo 4y ago
Or maybe his social skills are just fine and it's the corporations he's worked for that are pathological.
- manmal 4y ago
  The problems OP listed didn’t strike me as unusually pathological. There’s probably some rationale behind each of those decisions. Certainly not the kind engineers like to hear, but political and budgeting reasons.
serjester 4y ago
As the old saying goes - "If someone's a prick, they're a prick. But if everyone's a prick, you're probably the prick". I hope this doesn't come off harsh but I would strongly encourage the OP to look inward. Did you actively build a relationship with your boss? Did you actively solicit feedback from all the stakeholders in a given project? Did you ask earnest questions to try to understand people you disagreed with? When I was younger, I thought anyone that disagreed with me was incompetent. This had upsides since I pushed through projects others thought were impossible. But you alienate a lot of people in the process. More importantly people start rooting for you to fail. This is fine a very narrow set of situations but as a whole you're far better off taking the same effort to understand the people around you. My hypothetical question to the OP is have you ever had a falling out with anyone that you felt truly understood you and wanted the best for you? I haven't.
- neweroldguy 4y ago
  It’s tough because at scale you can always find some poor schmuck that’s a perfectly decent sort and has run into pricks over and over. “Maybe it’s me?” the poor fucker opines. And well-meaning folks like you or me will suggest the “asshole rule” — if everyone’s an asshole, you’re the asshole — and we’ll be right in general but not in this one unfortunate case. But you just can’t tell which is which from where we’re sitting. So, OP… probably you’re the asshole, but maybe not.
  - strawdude 4y ago
    i've worked in the office and in the non-office environment. i have problem working with the office people - i can't trust them when they say - "it works" or "i will do it". i'm in a cycle. i quit software eng job hating everything, everbody, and software engineering (which i very like). i go to work away from computers. my happines goes up, my optimism goes up, making software makes me happy. then i say to myself: i am good working with people. if i can do it here then i can do it in an IT company. The IT company turnouts as an unorganized mess with dumb people pretending to be experts.

by comboy 4y ago

kodyo 4y ago

Or maybe his social skills are just fine and it's the corporations he's worked for that are pathological.

manmal 4y ago
The problems OP listed didn’t strike me as unusually pathological. There’s probably some rationale behind each of those decisions. Certainly not the kind engineers like to hear, but political and budgeting reasons.

serjester 4y ago

As the old saying goes - "If someone's a prick, they're a prick. But if everyone's a prick, you're probably the prick". I hope this doesn't come off harsh but I would strongly encourage the OP to look inward. Did you actively build a relationship with your boss? Did you actively solicit feedback from all the stakeholders in a given project? Did you ask earnest questions to try to understand people you disagreed with? When I was younger, I thought anyone that disagreed with me was incompetent. This had upsides since I pushed through projects others thought were impossible. But you alienate a lot of people in the process. More importantly people start rooting for you to fail. This is fine a very narrow set of situations but as a whole you're far better off taking the same effort to understand the people around you. My hypothetical question to the OP is have you ever had a falling out with anyone that you felt truly understood you and wanted the best for you? I haven't.

neweroldguy 4y ago
It’s tough because at scale you can always find some poor schmuck that’s a perfectly decent sort and has run into pricks over and over. “Maybe it’s me?” the poor fucker opines. And well-meaning folks like you or me will suggest the “asshole rule” — if everyone’s an asshole, you’re the asshole — and we’ll be right in general but not in this one unfortunate case. But you just can’t tell which is which from where we’re sitting. So, OP… probably you’re the asshole, but maybe not.
- strawdude 4y ago
  i've worked in the office and in the non-office environment. i have problem working with the office people - i can't trust them when they say - "it works" or "i will do it". i'm in a cycle. i quit software eng job hating everything, everbody, and software engineering (which i very like). i go to work away from computers. my happines goes up, my optimism goes up, making software makes me happy. then i say to myself: i am good working with people. if i can do it here then i can do it in an IT company. The IT company turnouts as an unorganized mess with dumb people pretending to be experts.