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To save money running a startup, follow these tips: 1. Hire a competent but old programmer who has debt, and a wife and kids. Pay him well. 2. Hire a bunch of

To save money running a startup, follow these tips: 1. Hire a competent but old programmer who has debt, and a wife and kids. Pay him well. 2. Hire a bunch of interns to work on your code. Pay them badly. 3. Let the interns do the unimportant stuff, under the control of the old guy. 4. When the mission critical parts of your software come, for example design or scaling issues, bring in freelance consultants to help you do this 5. Hire lit major students to write a bunch of content for you. They are cheap and good at writing. 6. Release upgrades often and publicize each release as much as you can. You don't need PR. 7. Fire anyone who believes he is a rockstar, knows the best way of doing something and insists it has to be done that way, or somehow thinks he is owed something 8. Get small offices. Make your workers work short hours, so they have time to do stuff at home, and so that they stay with your company because of the amount of freetime available 9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him 10. Get a guy whose job is to manage outsourced projects. Outsource as much as you can and hold this guy directly responsible for the results 11. Don't go to conferences, don't stay in hotels. Spend to promote your product, not to promote yourself. 12. Take the money you make and put it back in company development. Keep the teams small and unified as you grow. 13. Spend your ad money on measurable ads like adsense etc. No expensive placement ads. You can optmize then 14. Hire people on freelancer contracts. You can save on their benefits as well as the management costs for doing their taxes 15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid. You wanted to save money, right? If you do the above, you don't need aeron chairs to keep your team happy, productive and cheap. However, it's unsexy, and some people will look down on you.

fallentimes 18y ago
"15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid." This was a great TicketStumbler company outing. I still think you should have good chairs (not necessarily Aeron). You're spending 1/3 of the day in them - get something nice.
nailer 18y ago
Thanks. I bookmarked your post, which is a whole lot more sensible than Calcanis' bullshit. Calcanis has yet to demonstrate how Mahalo is different from 1990's era Yahoo. Until he can do that successfully, we can continue ignoring him.
ojbyrne 18y ago
This proves my point that there are many, many people out there (no offense) who can provide more insight then the supposed "elite."
mkn 18y ago
1. Hire a competent but old programmer who has debt, and a wife and kids. Pay him well. It's actionable age discrimination, but go ahead. You gotta break some eggs if you want to make an omelette. 9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him It's actionable discrimination and a shitty thing to do to an otherwise valuable but shy person, but he's too shy to bring this to your attention or to hire a lawyer, so it's a win-win. (Again, eggs->omelette.) 12. Take the money you make and put it back in company development. Keep the teams small and unified as you grow. Also, breathe air, drink water, and eat food. 15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid. Again, actionable sexual harassment, but you're a nouveau web entrepreneur and therefore not concerned about things like legal liabilities. Let IBM, Microsoft, and other old school outfits worry about things like that. Besides, you're saving so much money by doing this that you can afford the suit. I feel like I've fallen victim to a motivational seminar version of Poe's law.
- nostrademons 18y ago
  I was going to upvote the grandparent, and then I thought "Wait...he might be serious."
- HeyLaughingBoy 18y ago
  <blockquote>9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him It's actionable discrimination and a shitty thing to do to an otherwise valuable but shy person, but he's too shy to bring this to your attention or to hire a lawyer, so it's a win-win. (Again, eggs->omelette.)</blockquote> I don't see anything actionable here unless he's a member of a protected class and can claim that's why it was done. Being shy is not protected. For that matter, it's not a shitty thing to do: he's bringing down the team. Sucks to be him, but if he's affecting productivity, out he goes.
  - mkn 18y ago
    Not to quibble, but there are disorders like Asperger's syndrome, social anxiety disorder, clinical depression, and so on. Many of these would qualify the person as handicapped and therefore a member of a protected class. If there's even a doubt, you might have to settle out to avoid legal fees or a potential defeat in court. Besides, reasonable accommodations are, by definition, reasonable. Maybe he/she can be one of the people that works odd hours to avoid others? he's bringing down the team. Sucks to be him, but if he's affecting productivity, out he goes. There was no mention of a productivity hit. We have to take the OP at his word that he/she meant, "If somebody isn't suave or outgoing enough, fire that person." I think I'd rather educate my team about diversity, tolerance, and respect than fire technically competent people who happen to like to keep their doors closed. If you have a team that requires all others to be social sophisticates and can't function in the face of shyness, then this is your second biggest problem after handling the inevitable discrimination suit for firing Joe Shy. Also, if I worked with me, I'd probably want some alone time, too. There are just so many things wrong with point (9) that it's hard to get them all out. Here goes: 1) Team managers, unless highly skilled (and sometimes even then) don't always understand the factors that make their teams function/fail. 2) The aforementioned possible legal liability of insisting on a team of suaves. 3) The inadvisability of insisting on a team of suaves. 4) The presupposition that the person who is awkward/shy is the problem. Maybe (the hypothetical) you and your team are a gang of unproductive dicks? 5) Maybe you're productive dicks but it will never scale? 6) The whiny intolerance of anyone who's not having absolutely the easiest time of things. 7) The fact that none of this has ever been an issue on any team I've ever worked on? 8) The insipid notion that it's a zero sum game or that the only thing is the productivity or that you can improve productivity with misguided social engineering. I could go on. I think that what it really comes down to is that I'd rather be the guy who succeeds by helping others succeed. Entrepreneurship is as much about finding value where others can't as it is about creating new value. That includes finding it in employees who are less than socially perfect.
menloparkbum 18y ago
15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid. Getting your team laid AT a strip club does not sound like a good way to save money. Even without the, uh, soliciting of prostitution, I shudder to think of the strip clubs where one goes to "save money." 9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him The startups I've worked at always had quite a few shy, socially awkward types (I've worked mostly at tech startups). We usually just invited these folks out to lunch and social gatherings and made them feel a part of the team. Perhaps we weren't being very economical...
- gaius 18y ago
  Shy and socially awkward in the "real world", fine. Shy and socially awkward in a crowd of hardcore geeks is cause for concern IMHO.

fallentimes 18y ago

"15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid." This was a great TicketStumbler company outing. I still think you should have good chairs (not necessarily Aeron). You're spending 1/3 of the day in them - get something nice.

nailer 18y ago

Thanks. I bookmarked your post, which is a whole lot more sensible than Calcanis' bullshit. Calcanis has yet to demonstrate how Mahalo is different from 1990's era Yahoo. Until he can do that successfully, we can continue ignoring him.

ojbyrne 18y ago

This proves my point that there are many, many people out there (no offense) who can provide more insight then the supposed "elite."

mkn 18y ago

1. Hire a competent but old programmer who has debt, and a wife and kids. Pay him well. It's actionable age discrimination, but go ahead. You gotta break some eggs if you want to make an omelette. 9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him It's actionable discrimination and a shitty thing to do to an otherwise valuable but shy person, but he's too shy to bring this to your attention or to hire a lawyer, so it's a win-win. (Again, eggs->omelette.) 12. Take the money you make and put it back in company development. Keep the teams small and unified as you grow. Also, breathe air, drink water, and eat food. 15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid. Again, actionable sexual harassment, but you're a nouveau web entrepreneur and therefore not concerned about things like legal liabilities. Let IBM, Microsoft, and other old school outfits worry about things like that. Besides, you're saving so much money by doing this that you can afford the suit. I feel like I've fallen victim to a motivational seminar version of Poe's law.

nostrademons 18y ago
I was going to upvote the grandparent, and then I thought "Wait...he might be serious."
HeyLaughingBoy 18y ago
<blockquote>9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him It's actionable discrimination and a shitty thing to do to an otherwise valuable but shy person, but he's too shy to bring this to your attention or to hire a lawyer, so it's a win-win. (Again, eggs->omelette.)</blockquote> I don't see anything actionable here unless he's a member of a protected class and can claim that's why it was done. Being shy is not protected. For that matter, it's not a shitty thing to do: he's bringing down the team. Sucks to be him, but if he's affecting productivity, out he goes.
- mkn 18y ago
  Not to quibble, but there are disorders like Asperger's syndrome, social anxiety disorder, clinical depression, and so on. Many of these would qualify the person as handicapped and therefore a member of a protected class. If there's even a doubt, you might have to settle out to avoid legal fees or a potential defeat in court. Besides, reasonable accommodations are, by definition, reasonable. Maybe he/she can be one of the people that works odd hours to avoid others? he's bringing down the team. Sucks to be him, but if he's affecting productivity, out he goes. There was no mention of a productivity hit. We have to take the OP at his word that he/she meant, "If somebody isn't suave or outgoing enough, fire that person." I think I'd rather educate my team about diversity, tolerance, and respect than fire technically competent people who happen to like to keep their doors closed. If you have a team that requires all others to be social sophisticates and can't function in the face of shyness, then this is your second biggest problem after handling the inevitable discrimination suit for firing Joe Shy. Also, if I worked with me, I'd probably want some alone time, too. There are just so many things wrong with point (9) that it's hard to get them all out. Here goes: 1) Team managers, unless highly skilled (and sometimes even then) don't always understand the factors that make their teams function/fail. 2) The aforementioned possible legal liability of insisting on a team of suaves. 3) The inadvisability of insisting on a team of suaves. 4) The presupposition that the person who is awkward/shy is the problem. Maybe (the hypothetical) you and your team are a gang of unproductive dicks? 5) Maybe you're productive dicks but it will never scale? 6) The whiny intolerance of anyone who's not having absolutely the easiest time of things. 7) The fact that none of this has ever been an issue on any team I've ever worked on? 8) The insipid notion that it's a zero sum game or that the only thing is the productivity or that you can improve productivity with misguided social engineering. I could go on. I think that what it really comes down to is that I'd rather be the guy who succeeds by helping others succeed. Entrepreneurship is as much about finding value where others can't as it is about creating new value. That includes finding it in employees who are less than socially perfect.

menloparkbum 18y ago

15. Take the guys in the startup to strip clubs. Get them laid. Getting your team laid AT a strip club does not sound like a good way to save money. Even without the, uh, soliciting of prostitution, I shudder to think of the strip clubs where one goes to "save money." 9. Make your team friendly. If there is a socially akward or shy guy who does not relate with the other members of the team, fire him The startups I've worked at always had quite a few shy, socially awkward types (I've worked mostly at tech startups). We usually just invited these folks out to lunch and social gatherings and made them feel a part of the team. Perhaps we weren't being very economical...

gaius 18y ago
Shy and socially awkward in the "real world", fine. Shy and socially awkward in a crowd of hardcore geeks is cause for concern IMHO.