4 ms·

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/08/google-blogger-noirin-shi_n_780372.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/08/google-blogger-noir... There was no h

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/08/google-blogger-noirin-shi_n_780372.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/08/google-blogger-noir... There was no handling of it. The typical rapist response was "she was drunk, she asked for it". Then it was swept under the rug.

goodweeds 15y ago
Fun orthogonal fact. I only first heard about the ApacheCon incident this summer after a guy on that huffingtonpost thread started stalking a friend and co-worker of mine at a conference. It blew my mind to see him there so strongly defending the jerk at Twitter. I did some research (asking his co-workers) and discovered this was a known problem with him embarrassing them at several conferences, but his boss wouldn't fire him because he had a wife and a new baby. I bitched about the guy on facebook and found out two friends who had just quit Twitter said, "that guy was the final straw, we were just waiting for our vesting to finish". Sadly, they put more priority on their greed than their own moral compass. Moral of the story: Women at conferences are there to work, not to get hit on by some pimply-faced nerd with no game. Especially married ones with rings who say "NO".
- paganel 15y ago
  I've just read the girl's story on her blog, and I know I may sound as a rapist-apologist or something, but frankly I don't care: she was just plain stupid by getting drunk in front of all those guys, performing dances wearing a short skirt and "sitting on laps". I didn't say "she asked for it", I'm just saying "she was stupid". Of course that Twitter guy is in all honesty a jerk (as was Bill Clinton or Dominique Strauss-Kahn and lots of other very bright men, intellectually speaking), but if this girl cares about her "safety" and all that she shouldn't play the role of Little Red Riding Hood in the land of horny, drunk and sexual deprived techies.
  - peteretep 15y ago
    For it to be 'stupid', you imply there's not a reasonable assumption on her part that she can't get a bit drunk around people without being assaulted. If you were at a party where you didn't know everyone, and had had a couple of beers, and someone beat the living shit out of you in the toilet and stole your wallet, have you been stupid? I'm assuming you don't think you've been stupid in that situation, so what's the difference?
    - paganel 15y ago
      The discussion if already OT :), but anyway, I'll put it more like "me getting ass-drunk at a party and leaving for home on foot through a very bad neighborhood", then I would certainly expect to be assaulted for my wallet. And yes, I do think there's no difference between a bunch of drunk, sexually-deprived "strangers" partying in a hotel-room at 3 AM at a tech-conference and a couple of thugs looking for your wallet. Lots of people assume (like this girl does) that if you've got more of an education then suddenly you're inner instincts (good or bad) suddenly change also, but this is not the truth.
      - peteretep 15y ago
        So I think in there is the crux of this, which is that she (and I, and apparently lots of other commentators) don't equate a bit of flirting and a short skirt while slightly inebriated with getting yourself "ass-drunk at a party and leaving for home on foot through a very bad neighborhood" in terms of inherent risk. And if tech conferences really do consistently provide that sort of risk profile, there is something deeply wrong going on.
  - danssig 15y ago
    Actually I just read it too and I have to say you're off base here. I don't like girls who "tease" and I think getting drunk, having sex and then decided after the fact that they didn't want to and it was, therefor, rape should be a crime itself. But that's not what happened here. She was dancing, so what? She flirted with some guys. She sat in laps when there was no space to sit. That doesn't give guys the right to assault her, ffs. You seem to be saying that a girl has to behave in a very restricted manner if there are socially retarded people around. If that's the case, why aren't such people put under mental health care? That's what we usually do with people who have mental issues that render them unable to deal with normal human interactions.
- danssig 15y ago
  > Women at conferences are there to work, not to get hit on by some pimply-faced nerd with no game. Getting "hit on" [1] is fair game in my book. Getting sexually assaulted is not. [1] Where I come from this is entirely verbal, no contact.
  - goodweeds 15y ago
    Consider conferences like your office. Sure you can hit on a woman, free speech is a right, but you're also a dick for doing so, and should be ejected from the conference, or the office when your employer finds out.
    - snth 15y ago
      You should be ejected from a conference for hitting on a woman? I think not.
      - goodweeds 15y ago
        Are you at a conference in order to expand your professional network and to learn, or are you there to be a sleazebag?
        snth 15y ago
        Why can't you expand both your professional AND personal networks at a conference? Hitting on someone doesn't necessarily make you a sleazebag-- there are respectful ways to do it.
        goodweeds 15y ago
        When you do it repeatedly and refuse to take no for an answer (like the jerk in my anecdote) that's the problem. Also realize that every woman at a conference gets hit on by about 20% of the men she talks with. At the last conference I attended our marketing coordinator decided to draw a penis on every business card given to her by a guy who hit on her. Out of something like 200 cards, 39 were sorted out into the penis pile. When you hit on a woman while she's working, you're not going to get laid, you're just going to be the latest in a long string of men making her life hell that day.

goodweeds 15y ago

Fun orthogonal fact. I only first heard about the ApacheCon incident this summer after a guy on that huffingtonpost thread started stalking a friend and co-worker of mine at a conference. It blew my mind to see him there so strongly defending the jerk at Twitter. I did some research (asking his co-workers) and discovered this was a known problem with him embarrassing them at several conferences, but his boss wouldn't fire him because he had a wife and a new baby. I bitched about the guy on facebook and found out two friends who had just quit Twitter said, "that guy was the final straw, we were just waiting for our vesting to finish". Sadly, they put more priority on their greed than their own moral compass. Moral of the story: Women at conferences are there to work, not to get hit on by some pimply-faced nerd with no game. Especially married ones with rings who say "NO".

paganel 15y ago
I've just read the girl's story on her blog, and I know I may sound as a rapist-apologist or something, but frankly I don't care: she was just plain stupid by getting drunk in front of all those guys, performing dances wearing a short skirt and "sitting on laps". I didn't say "she asked for it", I'm just saying "she was stupid". Of course that Twitter guy is in all honesty a jerk (as was Bill Clinton or Dominique Strauss-Kahn and lots of other very bright men, intellectually speaking), but if this girl cares about her "safety" and all that she shouldn't play the role of Little Red Riding Hood in the land of horny, drunk and sexual deprived techies.
- peteretep 15y ago
  For it to be 'stupid', you imply there's not a reasonable assumption on her part that she can't get a bit drunk around people without being assaulted. If you were at a party where you didn't know everyone, and had had a couple of beers, and someone beat the living shit out of you in the toilet and stole your wallet, have you been stupid? I'm assuming you don't think you've been stupid in that situation, so what's the difference?
  - paganel 15y ago
    The discussion if already OT :), but anyway, I'll put it more like "me getting ass-drunk at a party and leaving for home on foot through a very bad neighborhood", then I would certainly expect to be assaulted for my wallet. And yes, I do think there's no difference between a bunch of drunk, sexually-deprived "strangers" partying in a hotel-room at 3 AM at a tech-conference and a couple of thugs looking for your wallet. Lots of people assume (like this girl does) that if you've got more of an education then suddenly you're inner instincts (good or bad) suddenly change also, but this is not the truth.
    - peteretep 15y ago
      So I think in there is the crux of this, which is that she (and I, and apparently lots of other commentators) don't equate a bit of flirting and a short skirt while slightly inebriated with getting yourself "ass-drunk at a party and leaving for home on foot through a very bad neighborhood" in terms of inherent risk. And if tech conferences really do consistently provide that sort of risk profile, there is something deeply wrong going on.
- danssig 15y ago
  Actually I just read it too and I have to say you're off base here. I don't like girls who "tease" and I think getting drunk, having sex and then decided after the fact that they didn't want to and it was, therefor, rape should be a crime itself. But that's not what happened here. She was dancing, so what? She flirted with some guys. She sat in laps when there was no space to sit. That doesn't give guys the right to assault her, ffs. You seem to be saying that a girl has to behave in a very restricted manner if there are socially retarded people around. If that's the case, why aren't such people put under mental health care? That's what we usually do with people who have mental issues that render them unable to deal with normal human interactions.
danssig 15y ago
> Women at conferences are there to work, not to get hit on by some pimply-faced nerd with no game. Getting "hit on" [1] is fair game in my book. Getting sexually assaulted is not. [1] Where I come from this is entirely verbal, no contact.
- goodweeds 15y ago
  Consider conferences like your office. Sure you can hit on a woman, free speech is a right, but you're also a dick for doing so, and should be ejected from the conference, or the office when your employer finds out.
  - snth 15y ago
    You should be ejected from a conference for hitting on a woman? I think not.
    - goodweeds 15y ago
      Are you at a conference in order to expand your professional network and to learn, or are you there to be a sleazebag?
      - snth 15y ago
        Why can't you expand both your professional AND personal networks at a conference? Hitting on someone doesn't necessarily make you a sleazebag-- there are respectful ways to do it.
        goodweeds 15y ago
        When you do it repeatedly and refuse to take no for an answer (like the jerk in my anecdote) that's the problem. Also realize that every woman at a conference gets hit on by about 20% of the men she talks with. At the last conference I attended our marketing coordinator decided to draw a penis on every business card given to her by a guy who hit on her. Out of something like 200 cards, 39 were sorted out into the penis pile. When you hit on a woman while she's working, you're not going to get laid, you're just going to be the latest in a long string of men making her life hell that day.