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> How the fuck do other grownups do it? (I'm 49, and exhausted all the time) I suppose the answer is "they don't". I've found that I can't really commit to any
by Tade0 4y ago
> How the fuck do other grownups do it? (I'm 49, and exhausted all the time)
I suppose the answer is "they don't". I've found that I can't really commit to any side project any more because my time off is not consistent.
Also:
> 5pm-8pm doing stuff with the kids
You're a better parent than me. I have such days, but I can't say I spend this much quality time with my child every day.
In any case I have a friend from two previous projects whose child is just two weeks older than my toddler, so we compared notes regarding this and many other topics.
Summary of what's definitely possible with one child:
-Inviting grandma/pa over - provided they live close enough.
-Scheduled leave from parenting - like one evening a week. The other parent takes over.
-Cleaning person. Personally I just get up every hour from my office and do some chores. It's not enough, but it helps.
-Nanny.
-One parent as the homemaker.
-Natural tendency to sleep less. I have maybe 7h of sleep ahead of me right now but somehow this is fine. Perhaps I'll pay the price for this later in life, who knows.
- atemerev 4y ago“One parent as the homemaker” — this looks very unfair in 2022.
- alexanderchr 4y agoUnfair to who?
- dvsfish 4y agohow so?
- Tade0 4y agoIIRC this appears to still be the standard in e.g. Switzerland. Expensive (2-3k CHF per month) daycare only incentives this further.
- atemerev 4y agoI live in Switzerland. It is “standard” in some of the conservative German-speaking cantons (though things are changing even there), but not here in Geneva. Domestic labor is hard and thankless. It is very unfair to pile it up on a single person (in nearly every case a woman). Both spouses need to do their fair share.
- kaba0 4y agoIf only one of them earns a salary, and it is agreed upon by both, why is it unfair? That’s a perfectly valid choice - not everyone is a careerist and if one salary is enough for the family it is a really healthy choice. This “life is about work mentality” is honestly, harmful.
- atemerev 4y agoDoing chores at home is no less hard than working at office, and much more thankless activity. Both me and my wife much prefer to do anything else than domestic labor, including actual work. So, it is quite unfair to ask only one of us to do all this.