8 ms·
LPD: Libertarian Police Department (2014)
- scott55 4y ago
- syrrim 4y agoCan't believe this was in the new yorker. It reads like a typical internet shitpost. I swear it was just another copypasta.
- yamtaddle 4y agoReads more like something from McSweeney's, to me.
- defrost 4y agoThey do enjoy taking a swipe at The Fountainhead, the low hanging fruit of poli-sci-fanfic.
- cf100clunk 4y agoOne long, brow-beating joke parodying one long, brow-beating joke. Symmetry there.
- troutwine 4y agoIt actually makes a very effective copypasta, in my personal experience.
- yieldcrv 4y agothat's because I've been using it as copypasta for 8 years
- yamtaddle 4y agoHm. Not sure it's as funny as The Machinery of Freedom, but admittedly that one might suffer among some audiences for being too subtle. This one has brevity on its side, I suppose.
- thedailymail 4y ago"I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back." In a real market utopia, there would've been surge pricing on the gun.
- xg15 4y agoIt's also visibly dated. Today, the gun would just automatically burn a token on the BulletCoin chain whenever fired, after uploading the current GPS location, barrel cam footage and gyro data to the Smith & Wesson IoFA cloud for analysis and product development. You can also earn prizes and discounts by firing the gun inside the designated District of the Day! Who still has quarters?
- mod 4y agoNFTs commemorating assassinations of important targets available at the gift shop after conflicts.
- throwawaylinux 4y agoWith and Smesson naturally would also use the gun images to identify people injured and killed by their bullets, and then sell that data on to lawyers, opiate dealing pharmaceutical companies and doctors, prosthesis dealers or funeral companies, etc.
- _alex_ 4y agoDon’t shoot the bullets! HODL the bullets. Greshams law tells us that the harder munitions will push out the weaker munitions.
- Tao3300 4y agoSurge pricing on arms fire. Obviously it couldn't work, but I can think of worse ideas. A conflict diffused because the combatants are about to become insolvent on the next shot!
- monocasa 4y agoHuh, I bet the futures market for arms sales is wild.
- V__ 4y ago> I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose. Anytime this story comes up, this bit cracks me up the most.
- not2b 4y agoMax Barry's "Jennifer Government" does a much better job of this kind of satire.
- sremani 4y agoEven before I could chuckle at this tardy piece of comedy, the Champagne Socialist publication New Yoker starting annoyingly soliciting about their "Cyber week Sale" with a big enough pop-up that a libertarian would consider 'violence'. Talking about the Pot calling the Kettle black!
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- smcl 4y agoI don't get it, can you please explain
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- lliamander 4y agoThe implication is that the New Yorker is just as greedy as the capitalists and corporations it professes to hate.
- sremani 4y agoI do not know if I can explain it, but the point is the article is mocking an imaginary version of capitalism at the same time the publication is flashing me a Sale pop-up which is real capitalism. The America media pretends at the intellectual level it is leftist but at the bean-counter level it is more hard-core than a street drug dealer. That irony of this situation prompted my response. But I would ask, not to read too much in either comments they were both made in lighter mood and were neither preceded by and not likely to be succeeded by 'deep thought'.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- stevespang 4y ago
- LAC-Tech 4y agoThere's been a few attempts at this kind of humour. What always strikes me is that in many parts of the world, there's almost no police response at all. Here in New Zealand at least having the option of a paid for police response would be a marked improvement on many peoples safety and security.
- webwielder2 4y agoAh yes, New Zealand, that crime-ridden hellscape. Makes RoboCop’s Detroit look like Singapore.
- brookst 4y agoLaugh all you want, but many towns live in fear of the vicious sheep gangs that run the place.
- kelseyfrog 4y agoI'm sorry, but your comment has only served to increased the amount of laughing that I was enjoying.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- LAC-Tech 4y agoYou think rural crime isn't a thing? Livestock theft and poaching is an issue on both islands, to the extent that people avoid grazing near the road. https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/farming/130397588/security-cameras-and-boom-gates-on-farms-as-rural-crime-spikes https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/farming/130397588/security-... Again, this isn't South Africa, but it isn't Hobbiton either.
- Eisenstein 4y agoAn honest evaluation and critique of your response: acting in a defensive and offended manner at someone making a subjectively funny (though low-effort) joke about a subject very serious to you is a natural reaction. However it would help your cause to suppress this reaction and come back in a few minutes before writing your reply. The one you wrote hurts you more than helps you by making you appear unreasonable and emotional.
- nickpinkston 4y agoThis is so good - unlike seemingly everything else I read in "The New Yorker" which is usually so much verbose low-signal drivel. I want to learn about the new cancer breakthrough, not read 5 paragraphs about what the scientist's office looked like in self-satisfied "prose" only to set the stage for a meandering intro and finally finishing with a few sentences of actual information - often misrepresented by the author's lack of understanding for the science involved.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- brookst 4y agoReading the New Yorker for science is like reading The Economist for sports.
- nickpinkston 4y agoIt's the same for politics, etc. I also don't want to hear about what their office looks like, etc.
- MrMan 4y agojournalists are the worst!
- bendbro 4y agoDo you have a scientific source for your claim?
- Charles_Sneed 4y agoThis was a 4chan greentext before it was in the NY.
- bagels 4y agohttps://archive.ph/DkFcR https://archive.ph/DkFcR
- Tao3300 4y agoIn 2014 I considered myself a little-l libertarian and thought this was hilarious when it came out. The sponsored parts kill me every time. > “Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®" > “Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” > I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
- stonogo 4y agoAlways reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLfghLQE3F4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLfghLQE3F4
- user982 4y agoThis is an absurd strawman. Not a bear in sight: https://newrepublic.com/article/159662/libertarian-walks-into-bear-book-review-free-town-project https://newrepublic.com/article/159662/libertarian-walks-int...
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- bendbro 4y ago[flagged]
- adzm 4y ago..."Do we have any leads?" "Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so." "Easy, chief," I said. "Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair." He laughed. "That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski."
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- larsiusprime 4y agoI find a lot of doctrinaire Libertarian policies silly too, but the status quo deserves the same scrutiny; Conor Friedersdorf had a good reply to this piece when it first ran: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/04/nlpd-non-libertarian-police-department/360224/ https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/04/nlpd-no...
- stevehawk 4y agoanyone have a version of that i can read?
- greenyoda 4y agohttps://archive.ph/MJi0P https://archive.ph/MJi0P
- vore 4y agoThis reads like a hodgepodge of ideologies smushed into some kind of retort here. The original is poking fun by taking libertarian ideology to the extreme, this one is... Conor's sour grapes?
- hughw 4y agoThe Friedersdorf article makes the mistake that the parody is about policing, rather than Libertarianism.
- Bud 4y ago[dead]
- scott55 4y ago
- aswanson 4y agoLibertarianism is analogous to calculus limits in political philosophy. It's useful in terms of what you're approaching with regard to an ideal, but forever mismatched & inapplicable to the real world with initial conditions.
- throwawaymaths 4y agoMy understanding is that as a doctrine libertarianism generally believes that there is a role for government in society and that its functions should be explicitly enumerated, not arbitrarily expanded without the consent of the people, and not infringe on certain guardrails (freedom of speech, consent, etc) notwithstanding rediculously claims about society that certain individual libertarians often make. Not sure how that's a "limit". Seems more like a "compromise" with anarchy.
- dsr_ 4y agoThe only role they see is enforcement of contracts. By Libertarian definition, only governments can be oppressive; anything a corporation does is just the market acting the way it does: at worst, a temporary aberration that will be fixed soon by someone noticing an opportunity to make a profit.
- Eisenstein 4y agoWhat happens when a corporation becomes large enough and powerful enough to enforce its will on the citizens under it? Is it is still 'the market'?
- Ancapistani 4y agoThat definitely happens, and there’s even a word for such an entity: a “government” :)
- Eisenstein 4y agoSo when free markets don't align with the philosophy then we just redefine words until they do?
- sedeki 4y agoI think "AnCapPD: Anarcho-Capitalist Police Department" would be a better title, no? Funny read regardless.
- Ancapistani 4y agoDon’t be absurd. There are no police departments in Ancapistan. We have Private Defense Agencies.
- scott55 4y ago