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> You signed up for a bunch of responsibilities. You are always going to be your kids parent. You are only going to have this one opportunity to get this marria

> You signed up for a bunch of responsibilities. You are always going to be your kids parent. You are only going to have this one opportunity to get this marriage and this family right. I think this is a bit of a depressing take. Even committed parents and spouses take alone time for themselves and have hobbies. Just treat your side project as your hobby and you can still have a healthy family. Also, think about how much time the average person wastes day-to-day. Total up all the time watching television, reading articles, browsing online. Outsource your chores and improve the efficiency of your day job (e.g., work remotely to eliminate a commute) and you'll have plenty of time left over for a side project. You might say — how can a side project be successful on 5 hours a day in the early morning? — but consider that someone pursuing a startup for 10 hours a day isn't going to have a significantly higher probability of success relative to other factors that make a larger difference (ability to interact well with other people, product-market fit, etc.) Sure, you might reduce your probability of success a bit, but you are essentially buying a lottery ticket anyway when you decide to start your own company, so would it really bother you much if your already small odds of success are 60% of what they would have been if you committed to the startup full-time?

earino 4y ago
I actually agree with a lot here. If the question had been "how can I have a fulfilling hobby while also working full time", i think I'd agree with a lot of the advice you gave. It's very good advice about time boxing, having realistic goals, and looking for a well rounded life. Having hobbies is something that can be really rewarding, and hobbies can be many kinds of things, from deeply technical to purely relational and social. However, I will admit my bias here, the OP explicitly talked about "a startup", and I don't believe I know of too many hobbies that allowed someone to replace their income and retain their standard of living. The people I know who have done this have, regularly, done so with significant risk, commitment, and single-mindedness of purpose. I'm sure there are exceptions as those you listed, but I personally haven't experienced them.
saulpw 4y ago
> Even committed parents and spouses take alone time for themselves and have hobbies. The parents I know with kids younger than 7 have no time for themselves or their hobbies. They're lucky if they can scrape together a few hours a week for basic self-care. In the mornings the kids demand full attention and after the kids go to bed there's maybe time for a single TV show which one person falls asleep during. > how can a side project be successful on 5 hours a day in the early morning? So from 4am-9am a person is grinding away on their side project or startup while their spouse takes care of getting their kids ready. And then at 9am they just slide right into work for a cool 8 hours, eating lunch at their desk and then checking out at 5pm for a nice family dinner. This sounds like a robot's advice to a human to how to organize their life. Completely not feasibly and devoid of lived experience.
- brailsafe 4y ago
  Agreed. My impression is that most parents are already overworked at their day jobs, and then proceed to not even workout. Lots of people don't even have hobbies.
  - j45 4y ago
    I’ve heard a recommendation to can get a job that pays a little less for way less effort and save the energy for what I really want. A lot of people want to eat their cake and have it too though though. Hopefully building a money printing startup is enough of a hobby :)
    - brailsafe 4y ago
      The cake is always eaten, but what the cake is might not be apparent until it's too late
      - j45 4y ago
        Haha touché.
- ryanwaggoner 4y ago
product1087 4y ago
To me, it's not the time - but the energy. I have about 4 solid "mentally productive" hours in a day that use up the majority of my mental brain energy. Trying to cultivate that energy to do a side hustle after kids are asleep is the real challenge. Source: 2 kids, 4 and 6.
- Firmwarrior 4y ago
  For sure, you're only going to have a few hours of 10x productivity, but you can still get something done outside of that optimal time interval. I've been kinda weaseling lately and just working on my startup during my best hours before work. Mr. Fangman will be satisfied even if I just "meet expectations", and I'd rather put my best efforts into something that can pay off bigger than a 5-6 figure yearly bonus

earino 4y ago

I actually agree with a lot here. If the question had been "how can I have a fulfilling hobby while also working full time", i think I'd agree with a lot of the advice you gave. It's very good advice about time boxing, having realistic goals, and looking for a well rounded life. Having hobbies is something that can be really rewarding, and hobbies can be many kinds of things, from deeply technical to purely relational and social. However, I will admit my bias here, the OP explicitly talked about "a startup", and I don't believe I know of too many hobbies that allowed someone to replace their income and retain their standard of living. The people I know who have done this have, regularly, done so with significant risk, commitment, and single-mindedness of purpose. I'm sure there are exceptions as those you listed, but I personally haven't experienced them.

saulpw 4y ago

> Even committed parents and spouses take alone time for themselves and have hobbies. The parents I know with kids younger than 7 have no time for themselves or their hobbies. They're lucky if they can scrape together a few hours a week for basic self-care. In the mornings the kids demand full attention and after the kids go to bed there's maybe time for a single TV show which one person falls asleep during. > how can a side project be successful on 5 hours a day in the early morning? So from 4am-9am a person is grinding away on their side project or startup while their spouse takes care of getting their kids ready. And then at 9am they just slide right into work for a cool 8 hours, eating lunch at their desk and then checking out at 5pm for a nice family dinner. This sounds like a robot's advice to a human to how to organize their life. Completely not feasibly and devoid of lived experience.

brailsafe 4y ago
Agreed. My impression is that most parents are already overworked at their day jobs, and then proceed to not even workout. Lots of people don't even have hobbies.
- j45 4y ago
  I’ve heard a recommendation to can get a job that pays a little less for way less effort and save the energy for what I really want. A lot of people want to eat their cake and have it too though though. Hopefully building a money printing startup is enough of a hobby :)
  - brailsafe 4y ago
    The cake is always eaten, but what the cake is might not be apparent until it's too late
    - j45 4y ago
      Haha touché.
ryanwaggoner 4y ago

product1087 4y ago

To me, it's not the time - but the energy. I have about 4 solid "mentally productive" hours in a day that use up the majority of my mental brain energy. Trying to cultivate that energy to do a side hustle after kids are asleep is the real challenge. Source: 2 kids, 4 and 6.

Firmwarrior 4y ago
For sure, you're only going to have a few hours of 10x productivity, but you can still get something done outside of that optimal time interval. I've been kinda weaseling lately and just working on my startup during my best hours before work. Mr. Fangman will be satisfied even if I just "meet expectations", and I'd rather put my best efforts into something that can pay off bigger than a 5-6 figure yearly bonus