3 ms·

I struggle with the recurring theme of “figure out what you want, and then go to work getting it for next N decades.” 25 year old me was stupid. He wanted thin

I struggle with the recurring theme of “figure out what you want, and then go to work getting it for next N decades.” 25 year old me was stupid. He wanted things I don’t want anymore. I’m glad I wasn’t too effective at actually getting them.

mwint 4y ago
As a near-25yo myself, I’d be very interested to hear what these things were and why you don’t want them now.
- ghiculescu 4y ago
  25 year old me wanted to go drinking with the boys every single night. 30 year old me doesn’t want that. Once every few weeks is enough for him.
- Balgair 4y ago
  Younger me wanted to do things like learn 10 languages, go to grad school, get really good at judo, etc. Older me knows that languages aren't something you 'learn' as they are something you join, that 'grad school' is pointless and that your advisor is everything, that 'judo' is one of many paths to a better mind and friendships, etc. I know that sounds trite and Iroh-y, but it ends up being true. It's not the 'accomplishment' but the people that matter, including yourself. Focusing on the brass ring get you the ring, and not much else. Focusing on others get you a filled life. I know people that are enormously successful, yet are empty holes. I know of one that has both. It's not a pastiche or a fable, it's very true. I've seen a lot of people die and leave us. And I've been able to reflect on their lives. The best way, to my eyes thus far, is focusing on others. Lifting up other people, getting in with groups of good people, and helping out as you are able, those people seemed to me to have had the best lives. "I sit in my cubicle, here on the motherworld. When I die, they will put my body in a box and dispose of it in the cold ground. And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe, or laugh, or twitch again. So won't you run and play with me here among the teeming mass of humanity? The universe has spared us this moment." https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri
  - owenpalmer 4y ago
    What a beautiful quote!
AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago
Yeah, I agree. Younger me not only didn't know what he wanted, he didn't even realize that what you think you want and what will actually satisfy you can be drastically different things. Nearly 40yo me is still working on figuring out the latter.
HellDunkel 4y ago
Agree. The 25 year old me is too confused. I think it’s better to go back in time- the 10 year old may have a better compass.
strix_varius 4y ago
This was true for me as well, but I'm happy I started working towards those things anyway. I wanted to abandon "normal life" and live on a sailboat, so I developed healthy financial habits and a career in order to achieve that. During that journey, I met my now-wife. Now, I realize that living in a walkable community filled with trees and friends is more fulfilling than the liveaboard fantasies of my youth... but I was able to leverage the real work I put in towards that original dream towards what I want today (a satisfying home, traveling with my family, etc).

mwint 4y ago

As a near-25yo myself, I’d be very interested to hear what these things were and why you don’t want them now.

ghiculescu 4y ago
25 year old me wanted to go drinking with the boys every single night. 30 year old me doesn’t want that. Once every few weeks is enough for him.
Balgair 4y ago
Younger me wanted to do things like learn 10 languages, go to grad school, get really good at judo, etc. Older me knows that languages aren't something you 'learn' as they are something you join, that 'grad school' is pointless and that your advisor is everything, that 'judo' is one of many paths to a better mind and friendships, etc. I know that sounds trite and Iroh-y, but it ends up being true. It's not the 'accomplishment' but the people that matter, including yourself. Focusing on the brass ring get you the ring, and not much else. Focusing on others get you a filled life. I know people that are enormously successful, yet are empty holes. I know of one that has both. It's not a pastiche or a fable, it's very true. I've seen a lot of people die and leave us. And I've been able to reflect on their lives. The best way, to my eyes thus far, is focusing on others. Lifting up other people, getting in with groups of good people, and helping out as you are able, those people seemed to me to have had the best lives. "I sit in my cubicle, here on the motherworld. When I die, they will put my body in a box and dispose of it in the cold ground. And in all the million ages to come, I will never breathe, or laugh, or twitch again. So won't you run and play with me here among the teeming mass of humanity? The universe has spared us this moment." https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sid_Meier%27s_Alpha_Centauri
- owenpalmer 4y ago
  What a beautiful quote!

AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago

Yeah, I agree. Younger me not only didn't know what he wanted, he didn't even realize that what you think you want and what will actually satisfy you can be drastically different things. Nearly 40yo me is still working on figuring out the latter.

HellDunkel 4y ago

Agree. The 25 year old me is too confused. I think it’s better to go back in time- the 10 year old may have a better compass.

strix_varius 4y ago

This was true for me as well, but I'm happy I started working towards those things anyway. I wanted to abandon "normal life" and live on a sailboat, so I developed healthy financial habits and a career in order to achieve that. During that journey, I met my now-wife. Now, I realize that living in a walkable community filled with trees and friends is more fulfilling than the liveaboard fantasies of my youth... but I was able to leverage the real work I put in towards that original dream towards what I want today (a satisfying home, traveling with my family, etc).