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Regarding hot/crazy: if you try dating in a heavily fished (heavily sorted) environment like online dating, a person of modest looks (me) is likely to meet high

Regarding hot/crazy: if you try dating in a heavily fished (heavily sorted) environment like online dating, a person of modest looks (me) is likely to meet highly attractive persons only if they have some flaw that keeps them ‘in circulation’ On the other hand, meeting more attractive persons in real life proved much less biased. YMMV All that said, very attractive persons can go a little crazy from the stares and clumsy approaches that follow them everywhere they go. To the point that they avoid public places like coffee shops or feel uneasy about going to the grocery store or even to work. So don’t do those things its not nice

gitfan86 4y ago
> So don’t do those things its not nice Advice like this makes the situation worse, because nice people will take your advice and not approach extremely attractive women, because they understand it is the nice thing to do, but assholes will approach extremely attractive women, because they don't care about being nice. So these women end up only being approached by bad actors.
- paulsutter 4y ago
  Step 1 is to really understand the persons you’re trying to meet. For starters, to avoid being the worst annoyance. Advanced mode is to be who they want to meet. Starts with knowledge like anything else we learn. Everyone wants to be understood and appreciated, nobody likes to be a target
- qazxcvbnmlp 4y ago
  I think there is a nuance to tell that nice people. If you approach someone, be honest with your intentions while also caring for them. What does that mean? Both attractive and un-attractive women like to date people and get attention. So it’s okay to approach an attractive women. However, when you do it, be honest with yourself that the reason you want to be around her is whatever (a good relationship) and then if she says no, just leave it at that. Approaching? Ok. Approaching to be a friend? Ok. Approaching to be a friend because you want to have sexy time later? Not ok, this isn’t honest. Not honest = not ok = being a jerk. Approaching because you share an interest in Venus fly trap plants and you want to talk about it? Perfect. She says she doesn’t want to talk? That’s ok. Leave it at that.
  - tester756 4y ago
    >Approaching to be a friend >Approaching to be a friend because you want to have sexy time later Some would argue that first almost always implies second
- hnthrway 4y ago
  Just approach someone in your attractiveness band

gitfan86 4y ago

> So don’t do those things its not nice Advice like this makes the situation worse, because nice people will take your advice and not approach extremely attractive women, because they understand it is the nice thing to do, but assholes will approach extremely attractive women, because they don't care about being nice. So these women end up only being approached by bad actors.

paulsutter 4y ago
Step 1 is to really understand the persons you’re trying to meet. For starters, to avoid being the worst annoyance. Advanced mode is to be who they want to meet. Starts with knowledge like anything else we learn. Everyone wants to be understood and appreciated, nobody likes to be a target
qazxcvbnmlp 4y ago
I think there is a nuance to tell that nice people. If you approach someone, be honest with your intentions while also caring for them. What does that mean? Both attractive and un-attractive women like to date people and get attention. So it’s okay to approach an attractive women. However, when you do it, be honest with yourself that the reason you want to be around her is whatever (a good relationship) and then if she says no, just leave it at that. Approaching? Ok. Approaching to be a friend? Ok. Approaching to be a friend because you want to have sexy time later? Not ok, this isn’t honest. Not honest = not ok = being a jerk. Approaching because you share an interest in Venus fly trap plants and you want to talk about it? Perfect. She says she doesn’t want to talk? That’s ok. Leave it at that.
- tester756 4y ago
  >Approaching to be a friend >Approaching to be a friend because you want to have sexy time later Some would argue that first almost always implies second
hnthrway 4y ago
Just approach someone in your attractiveness band