5 ms·

We are born dependent and vulnerable. If our parents are cruel we contort ourselves to love them anyways, so that they will keep feeding us. Then we go into the

We are born dependent and vulnerable. If our parents are cruel we contort ourselves to love them anyways, so that they will keep feeding us. Then we go into the world and find we are still contorted. The world seems to be full of these people. It’s hard to see a way out.

public_defender 4y ago
Not sure why you're being downvoted. "Just resist psychopaths" is an ableist, reductive paradigm. Of course many people can't just resist. People have families, care responsibilities, and many are indeed conditioned to accommodate.
- capitalsigma 4y ago
  Would you say that it's also ableist to ask people to "just resist fascism"? After all, many people are indeed conditioned to accommodate fascism. Or pick another -ism you prefer.
  - bmn__ 4y ago
    Yes, that hews into the same notch. One cannot simply resist any form of oppression, there were/are only a lucky few who had the motivation, ability and resources to do so. If you are one of those and would gladly take a fight against the world to make it better, then be mindful to not hastily generalise from your position.
    - quonn 4y ago
      Camus and Sartre would like a word. I prefer their worldview. By your own argument I don‘t even need to give a good reason. I‘m not able to give a good reason, I prefer their philosophy of being responsible based on your notion of not having the ability to see it any different.
grepLeigh 4y ago
Therapy can help break this mindset and cycle. Highly recommended if you feel stuck, or like your past is shaping your future in a way you don't want. Therapy is like having a personal trainer for your mental fitness. https://twitter.com/Theholisticpsyc/status/1594159675586793473?t=vsrhPYfYZEvPK3hN6SzRPA&s=19 https://twitter.com/Theholisticpsyc/status/15941596755867934...
- philosopher1234 4y ago
  I agree. psychoanalysis has saved my life. But on a national scale? If therapy is the solution, we are sorely lacking in therapists.
  - grepLeigh 4y ago
    Agree - I wish I could pick how my taxes were allocated at a granular level. Therapy and other forms of mental health/wellbeing support would be at the top. I reckon history will look back at last 20 years as a "Hopelessness epidemic" with social/environmental causes as complex as current obesity epidemic in the US.
  - bogomipz 4y ago
    Do you have any recommendations for learning about psychoanalysis and its benefits? I'm curious what led to you to psychoanalysis over other techniques or approaches in the psychology discipline.
    - philosopher1234 4y ago
      Note: I added my email to my profile after writing this. Feel free to reach out if you’re curious. I have a deep love for psychoanalysis. I stumbled upon it by chance. I don’t know of a great patient introduction, but I linked some explainers on the ideas below. Psychoanalysis as I understand it is about understanding your relationship patterns and changing them. The analysis I’m in works through free association, I speak what’s on my mind (including my most disgusting or hateful thoughts, criticisms of my therapist, doubts…) and my analyst mostly just listens, but occasionally pokes and prods, and sometimes opines. His role is partly to be a canvas against which my relationship patterns can present and partly to be an investigator trying to notice and observe behaviors of mine I might not be totally aware of. It’s not just a matter of knowledge. Change in analysis seems to come through a felt experience, through the relationship with the analyst. I find myself talking and talking and one day I say something that I’ve known my whole life and yet never really said, and I start to connect it to all sorts of forgotten feelings, and it becomes a little less weighty, unstuck in time. Because of my work in analysis I have developed a now 4 year long romantic relationship, several close friends, and become happier at work. But I still have lots of dissatisfaction and lack of meaning (in those same relationships and work) and that is what I spend most of my time talking about currently. I’ve heard someone say psychoanalysis is about making you more free. Not in the civil liberties sense, but in a way that is almost a bit painful, as you will have more responsibility. Personally I also have found the theory behind it rich and deeply insightful. Reading some of Freud (and others, like winnicott) has felt like something clicking in my head about people that I’ve wanted to understand for a long time. If you like twitter you could try @jonathanshedler (he has a book too[1]) or @nyctherapist. Nancy McWilliams (Psychoanalytic Diagnosis) is supposed to be good if you want to understand the theory. I’ve actually really liked reading the original Freud. I also hear good things about Mitchell’s Freud and Beyond. Less clinically oriented (and more lacanian) I also like the Why Theory? Podcast. But it really is less focused on psychological insight. [1] https://jonathanshedler.com/PDFs/Shedler%20(2006)%20That%20was%20then,%20this%20is%20now%20R9.pdf https://jonathanshedler.com/PDFs/Shedler%20(2006)%20That%20w...

public_defender 4y ago

Not sure why you're being downvoted. "Just resist psychopaths" is an ableist, reductive paradigm. Of course many people can't just resist. People have families, care responsibilities, and many are indeed conditioned to accommodate.

capitalsigma 4y ago
Would you say that it's also ableist to ask people to "just resist fascism"? After all, many people are indeed conditioned to accommodate fascism. Or pick another -ism you prefer.
- bmn__ 4y ago
  Yes, that hews into the same notch. One cannot simply resist any form of oppression, there were/are only a lucky few who had the motivation, ability and resources to do so. If you are one of those and would gladly take a fight against the world to make it better, then be mindful to not hastily generalise from your position.
  - quonn 4y ago
    Camus and Sartre would like a word. I prefer their worldview. By your own argument I don‘t even need to give a good reason. I‘m not able to give a good reason, I prefer their philosophy of being responsible based on your notion of not having the ability to see it any different.

grepLeigh 4y ago

Therapy can help break this mindset and cycle. Highly recommended if you feel stuck, or like your past is shaping your future in a way you don't want. Therapy is like having a personal trainer for your mental fitness. https://twitter.com/Theholisticpsyc/status/1594159675586793473?t=vsrhPYfYZEvPK3hN6SzRPA&s=19 https://twitter.com/Theholisticpsyc/status/15941596755867934...

philosopher1234 4y ago
I agree. psychoanalysis has saved my life. But on a national scale? If therapy is the solution, we are sorely lacking in therapists.
- grepLeigh 4y ago
  Agree - I wish I could pick how my taxes were allocated at a granular level. Therapy and other forms of mental health/wellbeing support would be at the top. I reckon history will look back at last 20 years as a "Hopelessness epidemic" with social/environmental causes as complex as current obesity epidemic in the US.
- bogomipz 4y ago
  Do you have any recommendations for learning about psychoanalysis and its benefits? I'm curious what led to you to psychoanalysis over other techniques or approaches in the psychology discipline.
  - philosopher1234 4y ago
    Note: I added my email to my profile after writing this. Feel free to reach out if you’re curious. I have a deep love for psychoanalysis. I stumbled upon it by chance. I don’t know of a great patient introduction, but I linked some explainers on the ideas below. Psychoanalysis as I understand it is about understanding your relationship patterns and changing them. The analysis I’m in works through free association, I speak what’s on my mind (including my most disgusting or hateful thoughts, criticisms of my therapist, doubts…) and my analyst mostly just listens, but occasionally pokes and prods, and sometimes opines. His role is partly to be a canvas against which my relationship patterns can present and partly to be an investigator trying to notice and observe behaviors of mine I might not be totally aware of. It’s not just a matter of knowledge. Change in analysis seems to come through a felt experience, through the relationship with the analyst. I find myself talking and talking and one day I say something that I’ve known my whole life and yet never really said, and I start to connect it to all sorts of forgotten feelings, and it becomes a little less weighty, unstuck in time. Because of my work in analysis I have developed a now 4 year long romantic relationship, several close friends, and become happier at work. But I still have lots of dissatisfaction and lack of meaning (in those same relationships and work) and that is what I spend most of my time talking about currently. I’ve heard someone say psychoanalysis is about making you more free. Not in the civil liberties sense, but in a way that is almost a bit painful, as you will have more responsibility. Personally I also have found the theory behind it rich and deeply insightful. Reading some of Freud (and others, like winnicott) has felt like something clicking in my head about people that I’ve wanted to understand for a long time. If you like twitter you could try @jonathanshedler (he has a book too[1]) or @nyctherapist. Nancy McWilliams (Psychoanalytic Diagnosis) is supposed to be good if you want to understand the theory. I’ve actually really liked reading the original Freud. I also hear good things about Mitchell’s Freud and Beyond. Less clinically oriented (and more lacanian) I also like the Why Theory? Podcast. But it really is less focused on psychological insight. [1] https://jonathanshedler.com/PDFs/Shedler%20(2006)%20That%20was%20then,%20this%20is%20now%20R9.pdf https://jonathanshedler.com/PDFs/Shedler%20(2006)%20That%20w...