5 ms·

Tangential but literally moments ago I evaded a prostitution sting. I met someone on Grindr who was really cute and she asked for payment upfront. Then I said t

by 0F5 4y ago

Tangential but literally moments ago I evaded a prostitution sting. I met someone on Grindr who was really cute and she asked for payment upfront. Then I said that makes me nervous and I’d like to get to know you first, just a regular date. She agreed and then when I arrived to pick her up she changed her tack and demanded payment to do anything at all. I said ok, meet me in the lobby so we can discuss further. Refusal. Ok video chat with me to discuss further. Refusal. All with bullshit excuses. I played every angle I could and the shape of her was that she accepted nothing except what could incriminate me. I understood it was a sting very quickly. It’s so disturbing that the cops would saddle me with a class D felony even though I never wanted to pay her. They tried to pressure me in the moment to create criminal behavior where there was none. And then I would go to prison and probably be killed, certainly changed and damaged mentally for the rest of my life. Years of my life gone, my career ruined and my dreams destroyed all for those bastard cops to have the thrill of making a bust. It fucking sickens me. Our society is deeply sick where this violence is not only tolerated but endorsed and lawful. The cops are bastards and we need to put them in their fucking place. Thank god for first amendment auditors…

lisper 4y ago
> I met someone on Grindr who was really cute and she There are women on grindr???
- SoftTalker 4y ago
  - lisper 4y ago
    Neither does "woman". (But your point is well-taken.)
- bobthepanda 4y ago
  With gay spaces one big issue is often critical mass. I would suspect that for MTF individuals that Grindr would be one of the few places with a critical mass of both people they are looking for and people looking for them, even if that's not really the intended or main target audience. From what I understand, trans individuals have a hard time on other dating apps because their profiles get reported a lot for being "misleading" (which is a whole debate that I'm not getting into)
threadweaver34 4y ago
pwg 4y ago
While those actions are indicative of a possible sting, they are also equally indicative of a scam artist. "She" might have been some guy (male) in a boiler room somewhere just trying to scam people out of their money. The avoidance of any form of contact where you could see that the person you were conversing with electronically was not the person from the photo, while requesting payment up front, fits the scam artist method as well.
devilbunny 4y ago
> even though I never wanted to pay her You wanted a prostitute but didn't intend to pay? If you're just looking for a hookup, the first hint of a money demand should have been met with "nope, not interested in pay-for-play". And drop them.
jimbob45 4y ago
* And then I would go to prison and probably be killed, certainly changed and damaged mentally for the rest of my life.* My very limited understanding is that the vast majority of these sting cases are dismissed as entrapment and are largely about dissuading others from attempting to solicit in the future. Are there any lawyers on that could speak to this?
- lazide 4y ago
  Not a lawyer (sorry), but just from following the news it does seem pretty clearly about putting a chilling effect on the marketplace (buyers and sellers, but especially sellers) through fear. Aka ‘making an example’ of someone. The buyers in particular only seem to get named in specific high profile cases or when the authorities feel it’s really out of hand and they need to do something drastic. Similar to drugs frankly. Unlike drugs, it seems extremely rare for anyone involved to actually get more than token jail time unless they are a very large scale madame/pimp (and jail is not, generally, prison).
lotsofpulp 4y ago
> even though I never wanted to pay her. > I met someone on Grindr who was really cute and she asked for payment upfront. Then I said that makes me nervous and I’d like to get to know you first, just a regular date. So even after a woman asked you to pay her (for what?), you decided would still like to date this woman? And you expected to convince her to stop being a prostitute during the date?
registeredcorn 4y ago
So someone asked you for money in exchange for sex, you agreed to meet up with them, and now feel outraged that the police may have tried to arrest you for engaging in illegal activity. Do I have that right?
bryanrasmussen 4y ago
>They tried to pressure me in the moment to create criminal behavior where there was none. And then I would go to prison and probably be killed, what state are you in where paying for a prostitute would get you sent to prison? Why would you be killed in prison - for getting a prostitute?
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bakugo 4y ago
There's something really hilarious and ironic about the statement "Our society is deeply sick" in the context of the rest of your comment.
- roflyear 4y ago
  What?
roflyear 4y ago
Possible it was a sting but much more likely you were just being scammed. I guess depends on the country but in the US it is not illegal to pay someone to hang out with you. Idk how they would try and prosecute you after you said "sure I'll pay you but I'm not paying for sex I'm paying for you to have dinner with me"

by 0F5 4y ago

lisper 4y ago

> I met someone on Grindr who was really cute and she There are women on grindr???

SoftTalker 4y ago
- lisper 4y ago
  Neither does "woman". (But your point is well-taken.)
bobthepanda 4y ago
With gay spaces one big issue is often critical mass. I would suspect that for MTF individuals that Grindr would be one of the few places with a critical mass of both people they are looking for and people looking for them, even if that's not really the intended or main target audience. From what I understand, trans individuals have a hard time on other dating apps because their profiles get reported a lot for being "misleading" (which is a whole debate that I'm not getting into)

threadweaver34 4y ago

pwg 4y ago

While those actions are indicative of a possible sting, they are also equally indicative of a scam artist. "She" might have been some guy (male) in a boiler room somewhere just trying to scam people out of their money. The avoidance of any form of contact where you could see that the person you were conversing with electronically was not the person from the photo, while requesting payment up front, fits the scam artist method as well.

devilbunny 4y ago

> even though I never wanted to pay her You wanted a prostitute but didn't intend to pay? If you're just looking for a hookup, the first hint of a money demand should have been met with "nope, not interested in pay-for-play". And drop them.

jimbob45 4y ago

* And then I would go to prison and probably be killed, certainly changed and damaged mentally for the rest of my life.* My very limited understanding is that the vast majority of these sting cases are dismissed as entrapment and are largely about dissuading others from attempting to solicit in the future. Are there any lawyers on that could speak to this?

lazide 4y ago
Not a lawyer (sorry), but just from following the news it does seem pretty clearly about putting a chilling effect on the marketplace (buyers and sellers, but especially sellers) through fear. Aka ‘making an example’ of someone. The buyers in particular only seem to get named in specific high profile cases or when the authorities feel it’s really out of hand and they need to do something drastic. Similar to drugs frankly. Unlike drugs, it seems extremely rare for anyone involved to actually get more than token jail time unless they are a very large scale madame/pimp (and jail is not, generally, prison).

lotsofpulp 4y ago

> even though I never wanted to pay her. > I met someone on Grindr who was really cute and she asked for payment upfront. Then I said that makes me nervous and I’d like to get to know you first, just a regular date. So even after a woman asked you to pay her (for what?), you decided would still like to date this woman? And you expected to convince her to stop being a prostitute during the date?

registeredcorn 4y ago

So someone asked you for money in exchange for sex, you agreed to meet up with them, and now feel outraged that the police may have tried to arrest you for engaging in illegal activity. Do I have that right?

bryanrasmussen 4y ago

>They tried to pressure me in the moment to create criminal behavior where there was none. And then I would go to prison and probably be killed, what state are you in where paying for a prostitute would get you sent to prison? Why would you be killed in prison - for getting a prostitute?

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bakugo 4y ago

There's something really hilarious and ironic about the statement "Our society is deeply sick" in the context of the rest of your comment.

roflyear 4y ago
What?

roflyear 4y ago

Possible it was a sting but much more likely you were just being scammed. I guess depends on the country but in the US it is not illegal to pay someone to hang out with you. Idk how they would try and prosecute you after you said "sure I'll pay you but I'm not paying for sex I'm paying for you to have dinner with me"