5 ms·
As it comes to friendships, people mistake time for priority. Yes, I get it, people are busy. But they still have time. The average citizen spends several hour
by fleddr 4y ago
As it comes to friendships, people mistake time for priority.
Yes, I get it, people are busy. But they still have time. The average citizen spends several hours per day passively consuming entertainment. You may even have spare moments at work or in a commute.
You can call your friend. Or send a quick message to do some slow chat. And even in hectic schedules you can meet once a week or even once a month.
When you haven't connected to a friend in months, you're a shitty friend. You don't have a time problem, you have a priority problem. And that's the thing that people are unwilling to admit: it's just less important after a certain age, where we use time as an excuse.
- comprev 4y agoA method which has proven successful with friends is arranging for a future appointment to have a call. Usually we ask what the other is up to next week and book in a 1-2hr slot one evening for a call. I've found male friends open up much more about how they are when speaking and appreciate the regular monthly check-ins.
- paulryanrogers 4y agoSocial apps are easy in, easy out. Physical interaction with friend is greater effort unless you're roommates or very welcoming neighbors.
- drbeast 4y agoThis time a thousand. If so called friends don't make priority for you then they never were your friends.
- awillen 4y ago> When you haven't connected to a friend in months, you're a shitty friend. Needlessly harsh overgeneralization, I think. I hate phone calls for the sake of catching up, and I have plenty of friends who are the same. We'll go months without talking until there's some reason to - maybe I'm going to be visiting their city, or I want to let them know that my wife is pregnant, or I just watched a new TV show that I think they'll love. When those things happen, I text, and we chat and maybe see each other, and our friendship isn't ever diminished just because we haven't spoken in months. I'm very happy with these friendships, and my friends are very happy with these friendships, and yet you're telling me that we're all shitty friends. Maybe you need to be contacted regularly by someone in order to consider them a friend, but not everyone shares that need. Other people aren't shitty friends just because they don't meet your needs.
- BigRedDog1669 4y agoI totally agree and was put off by that posters assertion. Nicely put.
- fleddr 4y agoThat's a remote acquaintance, not a friend.
- awillen 4y agoListen, I'm sorry that you have apparently been burned by friends who didn't call you enough in the past and now feel compelled to pass judgement upon other people's friendships, but you don't get to tell me, somebody you've never met, who my friends are.
- fleddr 4y agoI'm not passing judgement on your friendships, as you have none.