Alcohol, or some other sort of addictive vice, seems key to adult friendships. Alcoholics have lots of friends, as do gamblers, obsessive exercisers, inveterate

Alcohol, or some other sort of addictive vice, seems key to adult friendships. Alcoholics have lots of friends, as do gamblers, obsessive exercisers, inveterate golfers, sex addicts, drug addicts, sports fanatics, gamers, etc. American society doesn't have social norms like many other countries which compel people to include others out of habit. I lived in Spain for a few years - turning down invitations was a legit hassle. And you've probably heard Brit comedians constantly complain about having to make excuses to avoid social gatherings. Americans don't have that problem - we assume you have your own things going on and don't want to bug you, and no one wants to presume to invite ourselves. And who knows what sort of nutjob your neighbor might turn out to be - you're stuck with them for as long as you live where you are, best to just avoid eye contact. The only times in my life I've gotten invited out of the blue to some event was to religious things. "The barbecue will be great - we all head over after the service..." So we need an excuse. Some irresistible reason to force ourselves upon each other. Alcoholics don't want to drink alone. Athletes need teams or opponents, druggies need their dealers, etc. It can't be a hobby. You have to need to do whatever it is you're doing, to get past the barriers of American distrust and to have a ready rationalization for spending time with people who aren't your family.