3 ms·

> there are three expectations of a close friend that I hear people describing and valuing across the entire life course, Somebody to talk to, someone to depend

> there are three expectations of a close friend that I hear people describing and valuing across the entire life course, Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy. I have two close friends. All three of us are in similar life circumstances. Married, kids in elementary/middle/high school, programmers, in our 40s or early 50s, etc. But, our entire friendship revolves around boardgames. We get together every Thursday night to play games for 3-4 hours. Someone to talk to? Well, we don’t talk outside of boardgame night and we don’t really talk at boardgame night, other than about the game. Someone to depend on? Well, pretty much all we depend on is that we will all show up. Someone to enjoy? Well, frankly, we probably all enjoy boardgames more.

CleverLikeAnOx 4y ago
I found I formed a deeper connection with my D&D group once we started doing non-D&D things together. It was a switch from consistent friends to close friends.
rhn_mk1 4y ago
It sounds like your definition of a close friend differs from the one described.
jdkoeck 4y ago
Sorry but I call bullshit. > Someone to talk to? Well, we don’t talk outside of boardgame night and we don’t really talk at boardgame night, other than about the game. So you never, ever mention any personal event at game night? I don’t think so. > Someone to depend on? Well, pretty much all we depend on is that we will all show up. If one of them moved to a new house and needed help, would you go? Yeah, you would. > Someone to enjoy? Well, frankly, we probably all enjoy boardgames more. Nonsense, the secret ingredient of a good game is good company. So yeah, you big fluffy, you enjoy your friend’s company!
- Kiro 4y ago
  Big disagree on that. I play boardgames for the games, not the people.
- irrational 4y ago
  > So you never, ever mention any personal event at game night? I don’t think so. We really really don’t. We are there to play games, we don’t have time or brain space for small talk. We play heavy games that take a lot of deep thinking.
  - simonebrunozzi 4y ago
    Curious: what kind of board games do you play? Also: have you considered the possibility that they might not be "close friends", as you describe them? What makes you say they are? Just interested in your answer, not wanting to demolish your point of view.
    - irrational 4y ago
      All kinds: pax Pamir, brass, food chain magnate, race for the Galaxy, a feast for Odin, Trickerion, root, etc. They are my only friends. Since I don’t have any closer friends, I consider them to be my close friends.
specproc 4y ago
Yeah, me and 4 others and 40K, at 40.
codecutter 4y ago
They are probably your acquaintances (to play boardgames), not real friends.
- PaulDavisThe1st 4y ago
  "Acquaintance" is a word many more americans should be using much more of the time. The over-use of "friend" to describe "anyone I know" has been a problem for me ever since I moved here (3 decades ago). It also has implications for reporting too, where "anyone a person of interest knew" is a "friend".

CleverLikeAnOx 4y ago

I found I formed a deeper connection with my D&D group once we started doing non-D&D things together. It was a switch from consistent friends to close friends.

rhn_mk1 4y ago

It sounds like your definition of a close friend differs from the one described.

jdkoeck 4y ago

Sorry but I call bullshit. > Someone to talk to? Well, we don’t talk outside of boardgame night and we don’t really talk at boardgame night, other than about the game. So you never, ever mention any personal event at game night? I don’t think so. > Someone to depend on? Well, pretty much all we depend on is that we will all show up. If one of them moved to a new house and needed help, would you go? Yeah, you would. > Someone to enjoy? Well, frankly, we probably all enjoy boardgames more. Nonsense, the secret ingredient of a good game is good company. So yeah, you big fluffy, you enjoy your friend’s company!

Kiro 4y ago
Big disagree on that. I play boardgames for the games, not the people.
irrational 4y ago
> So you never, ever mention any personal event at game night? I don’t think so. We really really don’t. We are there to play games, we don’t have time or brain space for small talk. We play heavy games that take a lot of deep thinking.
- simonebrunozzi 4y ago
  Curious: what kind of board games do you play? Also: have you considered the possibility that they might not be "close friends", as you describe them? What makes you say they are? Just interested in your answer, not wanting to demolish your point of view.
  - irrational 4y ago
    All kinds: pax Pamir, brass, food chain magnate, race for the Galaxy, a feast for Odin, Trickerion, root, etc. They are my only friends. Since I don’t have any closer friends, I consider them to be my close friends.

specproc 4y ago

Yeah, me and 4 others and 40K, at 40.

codecutter 4y ago

They are probably your acquaintances (to play boardgames), not real friends.

PaulDavisThe1st 4y ago
"Acquaintance" is a word many more americans should be using much more of the time. The over-use of "friend" to describe "anyone I know" has been a problem for me ever since I moved here (3 decades ago). It also has implications for reporting too, where "anyone a person of interest knew" is a "friend".