I'm going to be really brief here and careful also as I'm in no place to critique or even comment being a monoglot non-poet, so take this as intended... English

I'm going to be really brief here and careful also as I'm in no place to critique or even comment being a monoglot non-poet, so take this as intended... English word order and general form can be messed with and twisted perhaps more than you think, even if it will never be another language. Look at the Graves poem here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pararhyme https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pararhyme I can't take a better shot at what you've written in your other comment because I can't get a whole picture of what it's trying to say, it seems a rush of images rather than a scene, but as one image that makes sense (gold corrupting, I think) I bowed to gold, bowing to gold I grasped at the netherworld then I bow low to gold, and bowing, seize the underworld Or perhaps not. Anyway that's too much from me already. I probably deserve the coming downvote.